Jul 14, 2018

The 20 minute pain

I've been through my share of heartaches. As has anyone else. I've broken hearts and I've had mine broken too. 

What do you go through when a relationship breaks?
Do you blame yourself? Or do you lash out in anger and plot vengeance?
Do you blame someone else for 'casting their evil eye'? Do you blame yourself for not being capable of carrying a healthy relationship? Or do you accept responsibility and move on?
Do you sigh in relief that the 'care' is over? Or do you feel like the ground beneath your feet has given way?
Do you run in search of the next ruse? Or do you resolve to find peace within?


I've anguished over relationships that didn't turn out the way I thought it would. When things went south, I'd write to myself. I'd sink in the bottomless ocean of loathing, rejection, and emotional pain. And then I get better.

Some studies show emotional pain lasts only for 20 minutes. Anything beyond that is self-inflicted. This seems to be a sweeping statement because that implies we don't suffer scars? 
Just because our emotional scars cannot be seen, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. 

Do we have the courage to exit when your expectations aren't the same? Or do we desperately cling on, hoping that the situation will magically heal itself in time?

Do you rebound? Can you learn to truly love that person again?


Countless artists, authors, movie-makers, and poets have made a career out of emotional pain and unrequited love. 

The truth is the pain we feel is inversely proportional to the emotions we've invested in a relationship. 

Hearts are built differently. Some people are less emotional than the most. Their expectations from a relationship differ. So does their pain. 

The mistake we make is expecting the other person to be only as emotional as we are. We are constantly expecting the other person to be on the same page. Our page.

Our emotional scars will take years and the right therapy to heal because we can't put a band-aid on it. Every time you think about the relationship, you poke at that scar. Every time you miss that person, you tear the stitches apart.

I am grateful that I've had all the wonderful moments together. I'm glad we were there for each other during the not so wonderful moments too. I am glad we could do everything out of love and not because we felt obliged. I am glad I got to spend the time I did with you and your parents.

I forgive you and I hope you are able to forgive me. 

Mar 4, 2018

And the winner is...

The Oscars are right around the corner and nearly everyone has their favorites. 
So here are the nominees and my favorites to win.


ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

 Timothée Chalamet, Call Me by Your Name
 Daniel Day-Lewis, Phantom Thread
 Daniel Kaluuya, Get Out
 Gary Oldman, Darkest Hour
 Denzel Washington, Roman J. Israel, Esq.

And the winner is Gary Oldman, Darkest Hour

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

 Willem Dafoe, The Florida Project
 Woody Harrelson, Three Billboards
outside Ebbing, Missouri
 Richard Jenkins, The Shape of Water
 Christopher Plummer, All the Money in the World
 Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri

And the winner is Willem Dafoe, The Florida Project


ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

 Sally Hawkins, The Shape of Water
 Frances McDormand, Three Billboards
outside Ebbing, Missouri
 Margot Robbie, I, Tonya
 Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird
 Meryl Streep, The Post

And the winner is Frances McDormand, Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri


ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

 Mary J. Blige, Mudbound
 Allison Janney, I, Tonya
 Lesley Manville, Phantom Thread
 Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird
 Octavia Spencer, The Shape of Water

And the winner is Octavia Spencer, The Shape of Water


ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

 The Boss Baby
 The Breadwinner
 Coco
 Ferdinand
 Loving Vincent

And the winner is Coco


CINEMATOGRAPHY

 Blade Runner 2049
 Darkest Hour
 Dunkirk
 Mudbound
 The Shape of Water

And the winner is Darkest Hour


COSTUME DESIGN

 Beauty and the Beast
 Darkest Hour
 Phantom Thread
 The Shape of Water
 Victoria & Abdul

And the winner is Darkest Hour


DIRECTING

 Dunkirk
 Get Out
 Lady Bird
 Phantom Thread
 The Shape of Water

And the winner is Lady Bird


DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

 Abacus: Small Enough to Jail
 Faces Places
 Icarus
 Last Men in Aleppo
 Strong Island

Whilst they are all ones you must watch, the winner is Icarus


DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT

 Edith+Eddie
 Heaven Is a Traffic Jam on the 405
 Heroin(e)
 Knife Skills
 Traffic Stop

My favorite would be Traffic Stop but I predict the winner is Edith + Eddie


FILM EDITING

 Baby Driver
 Dunkirk
 I, Tonya
 The Shape of Water
 Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri

My favorite would be I, Tonya and the winner is Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri


FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

 A Fantastic Woman
 The Insult
 Loveless
 On Body and Soul
 The Square

My favorite would be Loveless and On Body and Soul, but the winner is The Insult



MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING

 Darkest Hour
 Victoria & Abdul
 Wonder

My favorite would be Wonder and the winner is Darkest Hour


ORIGINAL SCORE

 Dunkirk
 Phantom Thread
 The Shape of Water
 Star Wars: The Last Jedi
 Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri

And the winner is Dunkirk


ORIGINAL SONG

 “Mighty River,” Mudbound
 “Mystery Of Love,” Call Me by Your Name
 “Remember Me,” Coco
 “Stand Up For Something,” Marshall
 “This Is Me,” The Greatest Showman

And the winner is “Remember Me,” Coco


BEST PICTURE

 Call Me by Your Name
 Darkest Hour
 Dunkirk
 Get Out
 Lady Bird
 Phantom Thread
 The Post
 The Shape of Water
 Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri

And the winner is Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri


PRODUCTION DESIGN

 Beauty and the Beast
 Blade Runner 2049
 Darkest Hour
 Dunkirk
 The Shape of Water

And the winner is Beauty and the Beast


ANIMATED SHORT FILM

 Dear Basketball
 Garden Party
 Lou
 Negative Space
 Revolting Rhymes

And the winner is Lou


LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM

 DeKalb Elementary
 The Eleven O'Clock
 My Nephew Emmett
 The Silent Child
 Watu Wote/All of Us

My favorite is Watu Wote/All of Us and the winner is DeKalb Elementary


SOUND EDITING

 Baby Driver
 Blade Runner 2049
 Dunkirk
 The Shape of Water
 Star Wars: The Last Jedi

And the winner is Dunkirk


SOUND MIXING

 Baby Driver
 Blade Runner 2049
 Dunkirk
 The Shape of Water
 Star Wars: The Last Jedi

And the winner is The Shape of Water


VISUAL EFFECTS

 Blade Runner 2049
 Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
 Kong: Skull Island
 Star Wars: The Last Jedi
 War for the Planet of the Apes

My favorite is Blade Runner 2049 and the winner is Star Wars: The Last Jedi


ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

 Call Me by Your Name
 The Disaster Artist
 Logan
 Molly's Game
 Mudbound

My favorite is Call Me by Your Name and the winner is The Disaster Artist


ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

 The Big Sick
 Get Out
 Lady Bird
 The Shape of Water
 Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri

And the winner is The Big Sick
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