Feb 7, 2016

The demise of a heart | Manna for your Soul

This is the month of love!

What happens when people fall in love?
Colors are brighter, smells are stronger, fragrances are arousing, mountains become molehills, you get the drift right..

But here's a question most people don't want to ask themselves - What happens when a relationship breaks?
Suddenly you feel a vacuum in your life. Your phone don't feel the same anymore. Its almost like you've died inside. 
You fall back onto habits that comforted you, but realise that nothing is the same again. 
Every bone in your body feels disjointed. Every muscle like a over-stretched rubber-band. 
You want to curl up in the darkest corner of the dankest room in your house and stay there.
You cry out to God asking for peace. Sometimes you just cry.
You want to be alone yet with company just so that you can hear voices other than your own. 
You have chores to do but any effort is simply futile.
You desperately cling onto fading memories of a dead relationship... hoping it would come alive again.
You dissect and analyse every minute of what happened and wish you could undo it. Even if you know that only means sacrificing the reason why you did it in the first place.

You want to cure that throbbing pain somewhere in the nether regions of your heart and intestines. 
Some people would want to drown their pain but like corpses that float back up, memories buoy. 
Most believe time will heal your pain and maybe it will. But what can heal your pain right now?
Prayer can. But like everything else, God cannot be rushed.

Why do relationships break?
People are attracted to each other because of things they share.
In the rare chance that you actually find that someone who fits you like that carefully-knit customized glove, don't let go. If you have found a person so alike you, you'd even have the same tattoo and the same temperaments, pawn away your ego and stay.  
The perspectives are varied, and the journey to the now was different. The dreams could be the same, but the paper to those blueprints are different. 
Your expectations out of each other grow. You expect the other person to be reasonable, patient, forgiving and loving. We want our love to be like in Corinthians 13: 4-8. We earnestly want a love that is perfect. 
Yet how many of us are really patient and hopeful? 
How many of us can claim to not be angered, boastful and trusting?

But the truth is - Human relationships are imperfect. Very few people can claim to be everything we are told to be in Corinthians 13. The only perfect relationship you can ever have is one with God. 
The fact that you are alive and reading this is proof that God loves you more than he/she loved you. 

Pray, even if all you can ask is for yourself. Because He knows you are hurting. 
Pray, even if you are angry at God for what happened. Because He isn't going to be mad at you for being pissed off at Him.
Pray, even if sobs intersperse your sentences. Because He knows the hurt behind those tears.
Pray, for him/her. Ask that they find happiness and peace in their souls. Because no matter why the relationship failed, they are going through every painful ache that you are going through as well. Because they need healing too. Because if you were with them, you wouldn't bear to see their tears, how could you let them grieve when you are not with them? 
Pray for both of yourselves. Because you both need the peace that surpasses all understanding. Because you need to heal.
Pray, because you can't be vengeful. Because it's much more satisfying when you let the person you loved the most go.

Personally, I've always believed in - 'If you love a person, let them go. If they come back, they were yours. If they don't. They never were.' 
My pastor would add - 'Sometimes, you just have to keep the doors to your heart open for a little while longer. And if they don't come back, atleast you know you tried and didn't give up so easily.' 

You could hold yourself back to shield the pain of a future heartbreak, but when the relationship breaks, you will be shattered. 
You may not want to feel exposed, but the truth is - when you are in love, you have already made yourself vulnerable. Because when you are in love, you are letting that person choose to love you as much as they can hurt you. 

My advice: Don't break up. Better still, don't fall in love. 
Romantic relationships are not for people who can feel pain, articulate it and write about it.
touché

Jan 16, 2016

Precious like that | Manna for your soul

How do you feel when you lose something really precious to you?
Terrible, right?
How do you feel when you lose something really precious that you didn't pay for? Something you got as a gift, something someone else paid for and you get to use it for free. I know lots of people who cherish gifts they get from their loved ones. Nothing else could be more precious to them than that gift from that special person. I'm sure many of you reading this will identify with this and if you've lost it, you'll realize the pain of losing this precious gift.

The Holy Bible is His user's manual for the free gift of Life and Redemption His Son purchased for us. 
And like all any other helpful literature we have, this is yet another manual we just don't want to read. We are all self-confessed experts in the art of living. Until we screw ourselves up. Until we are afflicted with cancer. Until we lose that loved one. Until that marriage breaks up. Until our death beds.

Almost every Christian has atleast 2 bibles in their mantle-place. Maybe more if you love showing the ones you got from your uncles and aunts. 
None by their bedside. 
Almost every Christian has heard the good news. Every Sunday. We are all really pepped up by preachers who dissect the Bible in their own unique ways. 

Which brings me to a very important situation in our times - The importance of being earnest and honest with His Word. 
Over the last couple of weeks and months, I've been to dozens of churches where preachers and speakers use the Bible to defend one side of an issue, while others use the Bible to attack that same issue. Now, according to themselves, they are right because they are both using the Scripture to support their radical views. But surely both can't be right. 

The Bible is His written instructions to us and if we can't use His Word in the exact way He intended, then we aren't any better than the rest. If people who are supposed to lead us in His Word lead us astray, then surely, surely, they have sinned in a serious way.
And if you have heard His Word but can't live it until Friday, then you have sinned as well. 
When our spiritual leaders misrepresent and mishandle the Word, they distort God for the rest of us. 

So after decades of being deceived, our perception of God is the following:
  • God is the Ironman, Superman, Hulk, Goddess Kali, Santa Claus, and a dozen other superheroes rolled into one.
  • God, the super-villain, will punish you as soon as you have sinned. Infact the 'more pious' among us think it is more important to confess to priests and pay penance when you have sinned, else you are doomed. 
  • God is slow to grace and quick to anger. Infact He won't forgive you unless you feel utterly shitty about yourself.  
  • God wants you to pay up. Cough up those dollars for some salvation. 
  • God is your personal concierge and genie with no limits or fine print.
  • God is your PR and agent. He is that guy who can get things done in your favor.
  • God is the kind of guy you visit every Sunday in your finest casuals.
But the truth cannot be further from the truth. The Scriptures tell us 'When He gets up from His throne, the heavens will tremble and withdraw' (paraphrased ofcourse), but I want you to hold this thought for a moment. He is so mighty that He cloaks Himself in light and glory. 
Yet, He loves us so much that when Jesus was being crucified on that cross, your name was one of the trillions of names that He thought of. 

Yes, He died for Navin Samuel Mathew.

I can only imagine the pain of Our Father when Jesus chose to die for me. I can barely imagine the countless angels who would have been ready to save The Son.
I cannot imagine the anguish of Our Father as He saw every labored breath of His Son escape His Son's earthly body. 
When we watch news and movies of epic battles and the sheer volumes and military might of our superpowers and their foes, I can imagine how much more powerful His army of angels are. Maybe God was ready to let to destroy the human creation to save His Son. Ofcourse He did it once when he flooded the earth and nearly got rid of every one because we all disobeyed Him. This time He actually should have, because we put His only begotten Son through the worst form of death
But He didn't. Jesus saw the greater good in sinners like me. To Him, I was more precious than Himself. Probably as precious as His Father was to Him. And the best part is, Jesus did it with so much love and compassion!

This new year, make a pact to yourself.
Don't be just a ceremonial and ritual worshiper of Christ, but a doer of the Word. 
Live the Word - One hour at a time. 
Decide to build a foundation based on His Word, unadulterated and pure. Because when you do this, you have the key to weather all the storms that life will serve. The best news is - No matter how old you are, no matter how much you have sinned, it's never late.
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