Apr 26, 2016

Perks of dating me!

Inspired by a search to find out what it is about me that I like in myself. 

  1. I may not be book-smart and do not have a fancy degree from that Ivy League varsity, but I am quite street-smart and you will find that I am a wonderful conversationalist and can talk about anything you can possibly think about. I might appear nerdy and can be quite opinionated but I love bouncing ideas and we will learn a lot from each other. Of course, that's because I love learning new things and languages.
  2. Give me a blueprint and I can assemble a tree house while you get me the lime soda and towels.
  3. I won't do casual relationships. Are you a married/committed woman stuck in a dead-end relationship looking for a fun 'no-strings-attached' nookie? You could be the most seductively wonderful lady and what you are offering could be the dream of any guy out there but I'll still not going to date you because I just can't be 'the other man' in your life. Plus, I need substance in my relationship.
  4. A former 'people-pleaser', I am not a 'Yes' man. Which means I have the spine to say No on occasions. Invaluable trait.
  5. I am a foodie. 'nuf said. Some of our dates will be to the most interesting food joints in town.
  6. Want to know which dress fits you best? I'm the guy who will stand there while you are trying a dozen outfits until you get the one that makes you look like a star, and I will be honest about every single one.
  7. I will get you infected with wanderlust. Period.
  8. I will watch any TV program with you, as long as you tell me what's happening and we are cuddling.
  9. Feeling down? I will play with you, pamper you and pet you. I will clown myself so silly until you have a smile on your face.
  10. Thanks to my mom and the fact that I've been single for so long, I can cook beyond the odd maggi and omelet. Ta da!
  11. I have good genes - great skin & hair, am reasonably tall and look atleast 10 years younger than what I really am. I've been cute when I was young, and I am a looker now. I have an incredible smile and awesome pearlies. But don't take my word, www.prettyscale.com scored my face a 89/100. 
  12. I can do almost any household job known to man, with reasonable perfection.
  13. Thanks to the variety that I've dated, I am now very non-judgmental and unconditional when it comes to loving you. Been around the block quite a lot? No problem. I will be the last guy you'll ever date.
  14. I am great with - a) kids b) parents / grandparents c) dogs
  15. I am very low maintenance. A hug when I am back home, a cuddle at the couch, a surprise kiss every now, a sensual touch and a cuddle while in bed. I am all yours.
  16. I'm for chivalry so I will defend you if anyone trash talks you, will open doors for you, will let you sit first, will pay for dinner and will kiss you at your doorstep goodnight.
  17. I love shopping. I seem to have infinite patience while helping you choose exactly the right color for your handbag, shoe or dress. Retail therapy - Hell yeah! And I'll carry the groceries too. 
  18. I can and will communicate articulately. I will sit and spend an hour trying to make you understand the how and what I feel when I feel it and I'll encourage you to reciprocate as well.
  19. Along the same topic, yes. I am a great listener too. I will sit down, and listen to you. I will try and understand your point of view but by the end of it, we will have closure.
  20. I will fight fair. I won't use words that will hurt and will tell you when you use hurtful words, but will move on. After all, I've always loved the make-up sex after big fights.
  21. I clean up quick and nice and I'll be ready and willing to help you decide on which bra or shoe to wear.
  22. I photograph well but I'll always make you look better in our photos.
  23. You don't need to buy me gifts, but if you feel compelled, get me something that shows an intimate knowledge of what I like. Getting me gift coupons is a really bad idea.
  24. On the other hand, I will glean out precious information on what you like and will give you gifts every time we meet.
  25. I give the best pedicures and manicures known to man.
  26. Bad breath? BO? I will tell you about it and buy you perfumes and take you to the dentist and or help you with dental hygiene tips.
  27. I am a go-getter and I will push you as hard as I push myself. Having the mental block? By week 1, you wouldn't even remember why you hit the glass ceiling.
  28. Are you physically sick? I will nurse you back to health. Soup and bed pans, right up my alley.
  29. I can't sing but will put you to sleep with a bedtime story and a lullaby.
  30. Want some personal Me time? Granted. I am really good at understanding when you need personal space.
  31. I am extremely perceptive to mood swings and will give you my shoulder and an eager ear.
  32. Mood swings? Knot in the neck? Sore muscles? I am your personal masseur. I have put many a girl to sleep with just my back rubs.
  33. Do you have a hobby? I'm your new hobby partner! Howdy!
  34. I will laugh at all your jokes. And you will laugh at all my antics. Guaranteed.
  35. I will never take advantage of you when you are drunk or otherwise too intoxicated to bother.
  36. When you are with me, we are always a team. You'll be my left and right hand.
  37. I will never stare at other women in front of you.
  38. I am kind to animals and homeless or otherwise disadvantaged people.
  39. I know my P's and Q's and will never burp or scratch my unmentionables in public (or in plain view).
  40. I will leave the toilet seat down.
  41. I OCD with the broom and my home is probably tidier than yours and everything in my home has a place for itself.
  42. I will ask for directions when my map-reading skills fail on me.
  43. I do what I love and I love what I do. So I will push you to follow your heart too.
  44. I am 176 cms. So that's above average height for an Indian male. Top shelves in kitchens? No problemo. 
  45. I am a people's person and will have no problems in getting along with your friends and family.
  46. I don't smoke, drink or do any kinds of drugs. I have not committed any crimes and have no criminal record. 
  47. Designated Driver. Can drive stick and auto and all the more reasons for you to drink.
  48. Will call a spade a spade. Always.
  49. Affectionate and a very touch-friendly person. I can cuddle you till you are warm, toasty and room-temperature.
  50. I am not superstitious in relationships. I don't believe in 'rahu-kaal' and all that crap.
  51. I can do things with my tongue/fingers that will make you orgasm several times until you beg me to stop. And I won't even ask you for a blowjob. My only requirement is that you maintain a good PH balance down there.
  52. I am resilient and when I have a situation or a crisis at hand, I am curious to learn how to deal with a situation that I don't understand.
  53. Friends who know me for an extended period of time find it easy to confide their secrets in me.
  54. I can instill confidence in complete strangers!
  55. I am organized and meticulous. Everything in my home will have a place and a purpose.
  56. Personal hygiene is really important, so you have to have above par levels of hygiene or I am not going to date you.
  57. Call it an unintended by-product of all these years of good solitude and alone time, I won't demand that you message/call me every hour on the hour for a status update of what you are doing and I am not going to do that to you either. A message every few hours (at max) or one call a day is all I need.
  58. I can pack! Do I need to say more?
  59. I will serenade you with poems and blog posts.
  60. I love trivia. Also love searching for trivia about random (mundane) stuff.
  61. Want to dig your nose? Sure go ahead. I will even teach you how to roll it into a ball and flick it long distance.
  62. I can't smoke (even if I wanted to) and I always drink responsibly. (Reference point 35, 46 and 47)
  63. Our children will have your good looks and my great hair. Oh and all my qualities as mentioned above.
  64. Not a stalker. I don't stalk my exes and I can't understand why people would want to stalk their exes either. If perchance you aren't happy with 'us', then we make a non-sticky break. I won't ask you to reconsider/reconcile/explain why you didn't want to stick to your 'with you forever' promises you made when the going was good.
  65. I won't cheat. Caveat: You shouldn't cheat or otherwise betray my trust in you. I am not magnanimous enough to let you try and build trust in me a third time, so if you are the kind who falsifies/conceals information about yourself/situations, then this list is off-limits and should be the read '65 reasons why you cannot date me'. 
While this list is intended to be a mix of my strengths and weaknesses, this does not mean I am dating but was a fun exercise in self-discovery and serious introspection. 

Mar 12, 2016

'Why can't he just nod?' | Manna for your Soul

I am a hypocrite. 
One of the things that annoy me as a driver is when I am nice enough to give way to another driver and he/she doesn't even give me a nod or a thank you wave. I used to mutter 'How rude!' but then I remember the number of times I don't always acknowledge another driver's act of niceness everytime.

Now I'm a very polite person because I mind my P's and Q's and I value other people's time and life and whether it is a person who waits tables or the janitor, I always remember to say my P's and Q's. 

But it wasn't always like this. 
Back when I worked odd jobs for survival, I've been unceremonilously thrown out of homes and jobs. Some of my best life lessons have come from the most demeaning places I have worked in. Then I got into Customer Service and I realised the importance of being polite and not expecting anything in return.

Then I worked under a ruthless person. She was insecure and inexperienced in managing people and would bully me at work, mocking me and making me feel inadequate and worthless in front of everyone else. I'd lost all hope of working with integrity and honesty when I was being mistreated. 
That was when a colleague said something that stuck with me since - 'Work, not as if you are working for earthly masters, but as if you are working for the Almighty. Work with reverence knowing that your Father in Heaven sees your toil and anguish and He will reward you later.'
I took that advice and although I didn't stay in that company long, I forgave her for what she did. 

If you've ever felt thankless, then remember you aren't alone. 
In Luke 17:11-19, Jesus healed 10 lepers. Only one returned to praise and thank Jesus. Not that Jesus needed to be thanked, but because he wanted to show his disciples the flipside of being Jesus. The part of a ministry where people don't always stick around to learn more when their work is done. Sounds familiar, right?

Many people start their days with a lot of expectations. We wake up fully expecting to be alive and content until bedtime. We expect complete strangers to be subserviant and eternally grateful to our presence. We expect our spouses to babysit us. We expect our friends to provide us emotional succour. We expect our colleagues and work-masters to acknowledge, praise and reward us for our work. We expect God to be the 'go ahead of me and fix all the potholes' kind of a guy and by the time we rest our heads on our pillows, we probably have been like the 9 lepers who got healed that day but didn't return to thank Jesus. 
So while we expect a lot of kind favors from everyone else, we rarely reciprocate. 

I am glad that I chose to work for as long as I did believing that I was not working for a malicious bully, but for Jesus. I survived the experience because I wanted to glorify Him through all that I went through. The experience of working under a person who mistreated me the way she did hardened my resolve to be kinder to total strangers. 

Today, as I give way to another motorist, I don't wait for their acknowledgement or a Thank You, but I smile back. Because I don't know the story of their lives, and I don't know why they are bitter, but I know when I smile back, they are going to pause and wonder why I smiled at them first. Maybe my smile will brighten their day a little and probably inspire them to 'pay it forward' one smile at a time. 

You don't have to be a Christian to be kind. If you are reading this post, you already have everything you need to practice random acts of kindness everyday. 

I dream of that day when we can step out of our homes and see people smile and not scowl at eachother. 
I am praying for that day when we make it our habit to be kind first. Because that day will be the most beautiful day ever!

God Bless You All!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...