Feb 5, 2018

ain't no sunshine within...

You wake up to the warmth of the amber sun.
The birds are happy.. and so should you too.

You've survived another night of cold sweaty dreams.
Another night where you've fought off hollow fears of the unknown.
But now that you're awake, it's going to be easy. Yeah!

Some days are easier than the others.
Drowning yourself into things that won't matter when you're dying.
'Where are my cheerleaders?'.

The yearning is real.
Like a cough that won't go away, 
The pain is unspeakable. 

You want to stand up and run. 
Pretend all is well. With time.

You feel ridiculed.
Humiliated. Defeated. and then Drained.

Like cacti parched for love...
All you need is a little water. 

You know you can't quit. 
Nothing else to do, but wait.

How can I breathe without knowing there is hope?
When vows become woes.
As silvered shadows of dancing leaves play out their evening sonnet.
And evenings stretch out. Endlessly.

You peak your ears to hear the silence screaming within you.
After decades of solitude, being alone should have been easy.

You read. You write. You listen. You pine. 
And there's a song inside you. But you can't hum.

How can I breathe without knowing there is hope.
Tomorrow you can drown yourself in work.
Tonight we'll struggle. Again.

How did I end up in solitary confinement?

-N

Aug 14, 2017

The fabulous life of... a believer!

Recently another reader sent me a furious email asking why I promote Christianity in all my blog posts. As a Hindu, she was upset she was being forced to read through my references to Christianity in my Manna for your Soul posts. 

Well, I could have told her not to read my posts if she doesn't like it but I didn't. 

As a writer, my readers mean a lot to me. Whether they love it or hate it, they are my fans!

But I felt she had half a point there. 

My Manna for your Soul series has plenty of references to the Bible, and I am unapologetic for it. I don't follow any particular school of church thought and personally, I hate religions. 

That said, I think religions are the biggest scams in human history. 

It is one of those things that we have used to divide large populations of people into more manageable slices of followers that would listen to every command and instruction our religious leaders set.

Take any sacred scripture for instance. 

  • They all address us as friends. All of them ask us to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against our soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.
  • Nearly every Scripture teach you to worship your God zealously, not resting day or night. 
  • No matter how much you've sinned, God can turn things around and make you as beautiful as light through a stained glass window.
  • Walk worthy of the purpose you were made for.  Bearing with each other with patience and love. It is said 'perfect love drives out fear and paranoia'.
  • Don't partake with those who are unfair and cruel. And speak up against injustice. But if you have been a victim, take heart. God is more than capable of avenging you.
  • In nearly every scripture, from Islam to Buddhism, Hindus to Pagans their god(s) have a 1000 names.
  • We are all rushing after peace. We all crave for peace that surpasses all understanding. Yet, we all struggle with disappointment, anxiety, fear, and hatred.
  • We love our parents even when they aren't perfect or all powerful, yet we doubt if God will listen or even answer our prayers. Even so, there are many among us who have the faith that can move mountains.
  • We are all taught/encouraged/coaxed/indoctrinated to be the ambassadors of our faiths. We are also told to respect diversity and other faiths in almost the same breath.
  • We don't mind it if our elders choose the rod but when an unexplained circumstance/tragedy strikes, we lose faith and question the divine. We doubt if our God took a nap while on the job.
  • We all have a wonder-filled account of godly men and women who have walked this earth. 
I could go on forever, but what I am really trying to say is - It doesn't matter what the name of your God is. It doesn't matter which religion your parents followed.

What matters is this -

  • Even when you feel an all encompassing darkness within you, can you say a kind and uplifting word to someone who is down as well?
  • Even when you are starving, are you willing to share your meal with someone needy?
  • Even when you winning, are you humble enough to look around you and encourage those who aren't?
  • Even when it seems like you have everything, are you invested in the lives of those who don't.
Our lives were a joint venture by billions of gods. Our lives are purpose-filled.
Our experiences weren't an accident. Each of them was planned to the last second. 
So are our destinies.
Our lives are a living testament to how the same divine energy that created endless space limitless universes can still create and sustain something as puny yet incredibly unique as you and me.

Being a believer is more important to me than being a Christian or a Hindu.

Being a believer is not all fluffy carpet and aromatic scents. 
Being a believer involves battling through depression and insecurity. 
Being a believer doesn't mean you'll live a fabulous life. 

On the contrary, being a believer means you'll go through all the pitfalls and agonies of a normal life and still understand it's just one day closer to being forever with your heavenly parent. 
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