Feb 26, 2010

Battle of the Sexes

Women are historically referred to as the 'Fairer Sex' and Men, the 'Weaker Sex'. 
This could be true in more ways than one.
Almost all battles in history have been fought over property or a woman.

A recent study indicated between 50% and 70% of the women polled from among the southern Indian states of Andra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu and Karnataka thought that 'Wife-beating' is acceptable.

Growing up, in a matriarchy society, I have had my Mom, Sister and other Women of the family, fawn and nurture me immensely. Thankfully so too.
Today, I cringe at how women could accept violence as a way of life.
Did the numbers lie? Was it an anomaly? Were the right parameters used?

Men rave about equality and woman's empowerment, but the moment, Men have a Lady managing them, they plot to malign them.
Many urban Men think it is fashionable to be called a Feminist. Maybe it is, it has a nice ring to it.

Someone once quipped 'Behind every successful Man, there is a successful Woman'.
It is true.
My Dad and my Mom were one of a kind. They were from different spectrums of the same society, met, loved each other so infinitely to marry inspite of all odds and remain married, despite all the pitfalls. My Dad and Mom were an excellent example of how interdependent married couples should be. Sure they were not the richest or the smartest. But they loved eachother and never stopped loving eachother till his last breath. I remember how my Dad was so concerned about his Wife even to his last excruciating breath, that he switched off the lights so that she could catch a nap after spending weeks of sleepless nights.
When she woke up, she saw that he had already passed away, but he had a peaceful smile on his face.
Ofcourse, they had the bitterest fights but love conquers all. It surely did. She stood behind him, always the anchor that kept him grounded. Humble even to be described 'down to earth'.

In me, most of the women I've dated can be termed as the 'Who's Who of Social Crap'. Yet, the reason why I loved them was because I wanted love, the kind of love that my Mom had for my Dad, True Love. Although I could not articulate my need for this love as well as I can now, I was searching for true love. I never got it. Not from any of the half a dozen that I dated.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (Corinthians 13: 4-8)
It took almost a decade for me to realise that it is our Mom and she alone who can give us the love that we crave for.
Yet, we fight. The moment we even smell women's empowerment, we take up arms against them. Maybe, we need to have stronger women who can talk the talk and walk the walk. We need women who can show that they are not second rate citizens. Maybe, we need women who will not use sexual harrasment, dowry, divorce and rape as a tool to get back at Men who are actually good hearted. Maybe, we need Women who know their rights and will enforce them, while still be equable. Maybe we need Women who will stand up for their families and will kick some serious butt when needed.
I know a girl who once explained why Women, who follow Islam strictly are restricted from dancing in the public, showing any skin or even hair.

"If I come and dance in front of men, then what if the men would start desiring me?"

This comment shocked me. But this is surprisingly right too. Men oogle. That is no secret. Men leer and drool at any Women. As kids, we are innocence personified. But as we grow older, we develop emotions that build a wall of mistrust and mutual hatred, loathing, fear and anxiety.

A Lady does not have it easy, mind you. Women are constantly being preyed upon. With so many leery and lustful eyes latched on to you, it would not be surprised if I start getting suspicious and insecure.

Helen of Troy lent her name to posterity by having the face that launched a million ships. But with the majority of the Women in the 21st Century, survival is a constant battle against a million lustful eyes.

When will men realise that we need them as much as they need us. When will men realise that respect starts from the way they look at women, and not when a Bill is tabled? Our Women need us. They need our trust and we need their love and caring compassion. They need our security and respect as much as we need their intelligence and kindness.

Is it not time we made the first move to living a civilized mature society?

And in the battle of the Sexes, true victory is when we gain the unconditional trust and love of our women. The question here is, are Men strong enough to do this?

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