Mar 7, 2010

Delayed, not Denied

Just when I thought I had hit rock bottom, I felt myself sinking.. fathomlessly.
"Thank you for the shovel"

How hard can you fall? How much does it take to break? How much trust can you break?
I practiced 'If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, they are yours. If not, they never were'. I truly believed that love should be unconditional.

When our relationship broke down, I tried as much as I could to salvage it.
My Mom, Pastor, friends and colleagues rallied around me, helping me to heal. I did the only thing I knew, I prayed constantly. I prayed that she is able and well and is happy. I also prayed (selfishly) that she comes back to me.
Back to the Drawing board. 
Healing begins within.

When hopes shatter, when emotions run dry, it helps to have an Anchor. An Anchor that will never let you be swept away by the torrents of despair.

I have been blessed with a lot of healing at the right times.
Just when I begin to feel that I am running dry on my hope, I get a complete recharge, filled to the brim, overflowing, pressed down and running over...

2 years ago,  the ground beneath my feet shifted. I held on. I confessed and repented and have reformed since. However, 24 hours ago, the ground beneath my feet crumbled, again.

Fast forward to now, I am relieved and eternally grateful that I survived. Praise be to the Lord. King of Kings. Lord of Lords.

The urge to retaliate is exceptionally strong. But one verse comes to my mind: 'Be Still, for I am your God'. Powerful and Comforting.

My existence here is but a wisp of air. 
All the trauma, the agony and the tribulations are but momentary.
Tribulation builds patience, and Patience builds character.

All Science mumbo jumbo apart, I believe we are all from one matter. From Our Father in Heaven. Unique. No one can forge or duplicate the perfect people that we are within.

He is looking down upon us. 
Just as we would look down upon a bug in the ground. But with all the tenderness towards a new born child. We are more than a bug to Him. We are His. When we hurt, He hurts. When we cry, He cries too. When we repent, He rejoices. What an amazing promise!

Looking down upon us, He waits for us to be still. He waits to give us all that we want. He does not want us to pay for anything He gifts us. All He ever wants from us, is our Love.

Are you ready to love the Giver more than the Gift?
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