Apr 7, 2010

Love and Loss..

Were you ever in a relationship where you felt like you gave up too soon?
Have you ever been in a relationship that you knew was a dead end but regretted breaking up?

We give up too soon and too easily.
Humans are driven by love. We are constantly looking for affection and acceptance from others. But we often deny that person who truly loves us in our selfish pursuit of love.

Infidelity in relationships doesn't happen because we love the other person any less, but because there is a new recipient of all that love. There is a new person that we have trained our eyes on.

Some relationships are convenient escapes from reality and act like vacation homes that you head to when you want a break from the mundane grid of daily life.
Yet some other meet your physical needs, while starving you emotionally and spiritually.
Some relationships start with a lot of odds against them, develop into a strange coexistence of logic and reason.
The luckier relationships start platonic, and develop into something really beautiful. Weddings happen.

Marriages however can be tough, for most this is where the honeymoon ends. Real life begins here. Graduating from the Lover-boy to a Family-man is uphill pedaling.
The Wife takes it easier, for her it's just a new surname.
He will need to earn for the family. He becomes a one woman man, like it or not.
Probably, nature programmed the homosapien man to be monogamous.

However the Wife now ends up living with a Lover that does not shower all the love that he once showered. She is stuck with making his house. She needs to cook and clean after the Husband. 'Where did I make the mistake?' .. 'Is he not in love with me anymore?' ... 'Did he ever love me?'
Questions that the husband will need to answer real quick. But unfortunately these are questions that a man does not know how to answer without being hurt. While he grapples with these potent questions, the Wife takes his visible confusion and trauma as answers that complicates their once beautiful marriage.

They marry the man they love, hoping that they would change and become that New and Improved Man of their Dreams.
Men marry the woman they love, hoping that the woman will never stop giving him the 'emotional orgasm' that he experienced when courting.

Disappointment awaits both of them
Women fantasize so much on the wedding that they forget they have a marriage to live.
Men don't improve. Correction, men do improve, but improvement in men ends with potty training.

All relationships are hard work.
All our lives, we are tied with that common cognitive bond of emotion and duty.
From the cradle to the grave, we carry a lifetime of bonding. Some that will bring us immense peace and satisfaction and some the exact opposite

I remember a couple who once lived in with each other. They had a relationship of convenience. The guy's sexual and culinary needs were met and the girl's shelter and clothing needs satisfied. Why would they ever need to break up? Most men fantasize about relationships like this, but somewhere down the line they broke up. The girl grew distant and the guy could not take much more of her cold shoulder. They split but years later, he is still pining for her. He only wishes that he should have shut his mouth although he knows that she would have never satisfied his emotional needs.

If only we could look inwards, deep inwards, and plug that 'God shaped hole' in our soul, would we be able to fathom the unfailing love of True Love.
While our society gently slides and shimmy its way to greater depravity and spiritual vacuum, are we forgetting how transient our lives on earth are?
All the arrogance, infidelity and sex in this world cannot save nor satisfy you when your time to go comes.
All the pretty flowers and glowing eulogy wouldn't make a difference to you in death, if you didn't bother to make a positive difference in your relationships when you were alive.

All love on earth is transient and expires, and no matter how much that girl or guy might have professed to have loved you.. the only love that is true and tested is the love that our God showers on us. Your lover may not know all about you, but the Lord who knows all about you, even the really dirty stuff, loves you with a passion that none can match.
While lovers talk the talk, its only our Lord who talks the talk and walks the walk.

Look Within, Love Heavenwards. You can never get disappointed because you know that no matter who you are with and regardless of how much he/she professes to love you, you will have The Love that lasts.. unto eternity.
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