Oct 27, 2011

Review: G.ONE to the D.OGS

Now, I love movies. May not be a movie buff and I won't care to know who is the sound technician or the art director of a movie, but I certainly enjoy movies. I am quite opiniated when it comes to reviewing movies and I am mostly right when it comes to judging movies. Touche`

So, what kind of movies do I watch? 
Well, all movies are fair game. 

So starting this week, I'll review one movie that I watched.
Michael Jackson in neon?!

And this week, it's Ra.One at the slaughter house.

You must be either dead or buried alive to have missed all the hype and paid excitement about the most expensive bollywood movie to date - Ra.one
Now, this is going to be really nasty but I must admit I was once a strong Shah Rukh Khan (simply known as SRK) fan. But those were the good ol days, when we would see him only in good movies and less advertisements.
And then the good king of la-la land decided he was not been seen enough.

Fast forward a few years and now it is impossible to miss an advt that has his grimacing face or his famous stutter in a normal human day.
While I cannot help but applaud how he has realized his dream of being the face of every possible product/service that can be sold in India, why must we be subject to his Utopia?

So what if he has minus one fan to his billions, SRK is proud to be the arrogant, sore loser and indifferent bollywood star who is on hire for dancing and hosting your next wedding party.

Ra.One, his magnum opus was hyped so much that I'd expected the movie to bomb pretty badly. And I hate it when my predictions come true.
His incredibly well lubricated PR machine made sure that all you saw on any channel was an advt about Ra.One. But alas, not all the money in the world can really make up for awful visual effects, cold as dead fish storyline or actors who parade through the movie like many zombies on prozac. The movie lacks any of the pizazz of an Hollywood flick and is at best choppy and a snooze fest. Thank god for the air-conditioned multiplexes.
Surely, Ra.One will be able to get all its costs back in a few days, if it hasn't already. But would I recommend that you watch it? I don't think so.
Although the movie does have some big names, the entire plot looks contrived and very kitschy. Too many songs? Definitely.
If you are fan of any of the big stars in the movie, you will be disappointed at the pace the movie goes through. Pained even.
If you are big fan of special effects, sorry, there isn't much in here for you either. Surely, this movie does show that FX in Indian cinema is coming of age, but to a generation that has been breast fed on Star Wars and Superman movies, some of the FX scenes in this movies are painful to swallow.
As I finished the movie, I could not decide which I felt stronger. Violated or relieved. 
Violated, because of the visual and emotional mess that I had to endure.
Relieved, because I could finally put all the hype behind me and start a new life tomorrow.

My Rating: 4

What does the ratings mean?
0-4  : Not worth your presence in the same zip code as the TV/Theatre.
5-7  : Err... the movie is pretty, but it's definitely missing something. A storyline, that is.
8-10: 'Drop-the-dishes, stop-the-sex, jaw-dropping, that-is-incredible' 2 hours of movie experience
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