Apr 30, 2013

While I was gone... Part 3/3 [April 2013]

The human mind is a wonderful tool! 
There are some who use it to do wonderful things and then there are others who don't know what to do with it.
But there's absolutely no reason why you shouldn't sell it for the right price. Shakuntala Devi, the 'human computer' and 'fortune teller of movie stars, kings and presidents' passed away the past fortnight.


While I won't doubt her genius, what used to bother me is how she would put out kitschy ads in the local newspapers offering to reveal your future with a prior appointment. The tiny advt used to have a photograph of her younger days. Much younger days. The advt would compel prospective fortune seekers to hurry because she would be here 'only for a few days'. 

I remember thinking 'Where is she always rushing to?'
She was always a child prodigy but all she really did was write a few books and read palms for a living. What a utter waste of such genius!

So while we are still mourning over the dead math genius/astrologer, Americans rolled their sleeves up for another dig at Michael Jackson. With billions at stake, this could be the 'trial of the year'. OJ Simpson, take notes.

Pooja Bhatt confirmed our most salacious suspicions - She is indeed responsible for Sunny Leone's foray into Bollywood. Speaking along the lines of how aghast she is with the way her countryman are raping women and young toddlers, she vented out her fury. Well, I believe when politicians and shallow people in the movie industry start paying lip service, and when we take them seriously, we sink to a new low. 

  And so Sunny seems to be flavor of young India and this blog because she has been replacing 'mainstream' actress faster than some of her 'moves'.

An anonymous Indian cow had to suffer the ignominy of being gang-raped and stabbed. I can only imagine the agony she went through in her last moments. The agony of being tied down in a compromising position with two men humping it. 

Peta! Where art thou
And this had to happen in a country that worships the ground cows walk/sit/idle/feed/poop/pee on! 

How did the cops decide Rs 2000 was just the right amount to buy the victim's silence? Ofcourse the cops have denied any attempts of hush-ups. Did any of you actually think they would say 'Yes, we are guilty of bribing'? 

But then there are cops with itchy palms and trigger-happy fingers, with a propensity to slap the shit out of unruly protestors. Must we suspend those cops or expect ourselves to behave in a way that befits us?  Watching the footage, which looped in an endless montage, I am reminded how Gandhi's brand of nonviolence no longer exists. 

Do you really think these protesters care about the 5 year old?
These protesters are there for their 15 minutes of fame. And she surely got her pound of flesh too.
They will go back to their jobs/colleges in a day or two. They will add this to their CVs when they apply to universities abroad. And that will be the last we will hear of these protesters.
The victims will go back to their homes and their families, struggle with poor health and low self-esteem for the rest of their natural lives. That is if they don't die/kill themselves already. The very society that 'fought' for them will shun them. No amount of dowry will convince a future groom to take a wife that has been 'dirtied'. Corporates will never hire them because of their 'baggage'. Eventually they will all die a silent shameful death.

In the meanwhile, we will 'honor' our victims with names like Nirbhaya and Gudiya. But none of this can mask our collective hatred against women. Right from the time we know its a girl until its time to 'sell her off'.

If you thought your daughter was safe attending her friend's birthday, think again!
If you thought sending your daughter to a school will help, how naive are you!

If you think your nightmare is over, maybe its just started. Your predator would have just filmed you for future reference.
In the past 2 weeks, half a dozen other toddlers got raped and one of them even had her throat slit.
I am beginning to wonder if it is some kind of a disease that is making our men rape women. While I've said it earlier how I think it is the deluge of violent porn that is available for free that could be 'giving ideas' to our young virile men, I doubt if this is the only reason. 
We shouldn't ban porn. Infact porn is healthy when consumed in the right measure. Would you ban Bollywood for the sheer amount of skin? That is like saying watching Rocky is going to make us take up boxing.

How can we fix the responsibility of the evils of our unpreparedness on showbiz?
But ofcourse you will need to ban Aishwarya for her highly questionable acting skills.


Occasional headlines like 'Man held for sexual assualt...' humors me.
Where was he held? I ask myself.
How long before the court acquits him because the cops refused to file a case or botched up the FIR/investigation?
Will the court suggest that he marry his victim? 


While the chorus to 'Hang the Bastards' have reached a crescendo, I wish all of us would just take a moment, sit down and think like matured adults and not with our entrails. I've said this once before and I'll say this again - Violence (verbal and physical) against women is bad. Equally bad is violence against men. That said, when a woman is violated, it degrades her. More than you and I can possibly imagine. Historically, women have always been placed several pedestals lower than men. Mothers ingrain the belief in their daughters that they are supposed to be nothing more than baby vending machines. Men- Sex machines.
When we hear about how a lady was raped, we take it lightly. We talk about it at forums where free lunch will be served, tea parties, office pantries and at dining rooms. A rape scene used to bring in the audience until a few movies ago.
In our self-righteous eagerness to inflict swift justice upon men who don't conform to our ideals, we want to hang the men who wander off unwritten lines of social propriety. We are right in wanting change. But let's not let the blood rush to our heads. Especially when we know how mob justice and public sentiment have sent the wrong people to the gallows. A classic example of how the wrong people were convicted is the gruesome rape and murder of Debbie Sue Carter. Let's allow the law and science to do what is right atleast now. Arm-twisting has never worked.

All this rhetoric is but empty noise when we choose to drive by an accident victim lying in a pool of blood as it happened in Jaipur. Our hypocrisy underlines how we have absolutely no humanity left in us.


Sushil Shinde, comic relief and overall foot-in-mouth politician delivered yet another gem - We cannot and should not expect our cops to take responsibility and resign.  

No, No, Sushil saab, why on earth would we want to expect anything from you?
Why we haven't prosecuted these SOBs yet boggles me.


Ambani became the butt of a million jokes when the government decided to provide Z plus security to the industrialist. Never-mind that the cops are not able to stop (or prosecute) the men from raping women and toddlers, never-mind we don't take terrorist threats against the country, we have to protect our billionaires. Sure, he could be paying for them, but then he could have got himself a private army if he really wanted to. Isn't that what 'normal' billionaires do?

In India, breast implants have always been a surreptitious cottage industry. Unlike our South Asian counterparts, our women are well endowed. Yet some of our flat-chested women are victims of sniggers and 'mosquito-bite' jokes. So when boob jobs go bust (no pun intended), it can truly be traumatic. 

In a race to catch the culprits or hang the ones they can lay their hands on, Bangalore cops arrested three individuals they suspect planned and executed the attack. This could be the start of a long and emotional trial that won't deter future attackers.

In the meanwhile, our sister from the other side of the pond managed to nab not only the suspects of the attack but also the body of a missing Indian who was the victim of overzealous armchair activists. For all those who complain how we are unprepared, the speed and efficiency at which the Boston police acted is amazing and something we need to learn from. The FBI wasn't unprepared. They did receive credible information about the suspects years before the attack. The brothers were put under surveillance and when nothing was found, the case was shelved. Yet when the attack did happen, Obama spoke what he meant and meant what he spoke. The way citizens and the law enforcement came together to 'hunt' down the suspects will surely make the next radical/loony fanatic think twice before they blow anything up. This is what we need. We need action. Definitive action.
 


Descendents of the Arakkal family, erstwhile rulers of the Malabar coast, laid a joint claim for Rs 5000 crores from the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. That's a lot of coconut oil and Malabar fish fry, if you know what I mean.
 
If a picture speaks a thousand words, a billboard our army put up spoke many more. Armies around the world have never been known to be friendly to its civilians. Our army has been notorious of raping and killing innocent women and to think such an army would like you to join them just so that you may have a girl who may grow up to be a struggling Bollywood starlet, is not just preposterous but an insult to the victims and their families. But wait a minute, wasn't Gul Panag molested by a dozen men herself?!

And yes, after many years of selling cheap goods and cheaper labor, the Chinese finally invaded us. Our PM gulped. China has stationed her well-oiled fighting machine and we are sitting ducks. And what do we do? We hold flag meetings and send our foot-in-mouth foreign minister for a vacation there. We are very soft people, you see.


We can't win a war with China, won't fight with Pakistan, will sneak a vote against Sri Lanka , threaten the Mauritians and throw out the Bangladeshis. So that leaves us with the Nepalese and the Tibetans. Quite a coalition, I must say! 

I bet the Chinese know how our posturing will amount to naught. All they need to do is wait for our politicians to do the job.  Infact give the Congress/UPA another term in office and they will ensure their ministers cut India into 'fun-size' chunks for themselves.

Uncle Sam says Syria used chemical weapons. He wants to punish Syria. Really?! So what did the coalition use in the first Gulf War? Anyone who would have seen the scale of destruction that the first 'War made for the Networks' unleashed would have testified at the massacre their 'smart-bombs' and 'advanced weaponry' caused. Gulf War Syndrome, anybody?
So now when the Middle East is cautious about letting the Americans attack Syria, it is with much reason. Successive American governments have nurtured regimes when it suited them and cut them down to size when it didn't.

And in news from Pakistan, Sarabjit Singh, who has been lingering in their jails, was brutally attacked and left for dead


Our PM has condemned the attack.
If it is any consolation, Sarabjit's family has been able to see his final moments on earth. If it is any consolation, Pakistan has provided an entire ICU that has been guarded by a contingent of police. If it is any consolation, Pakistan has arrested the prisoners who did this to Sarabjit. If it is any consolation, this attack happened in the one place where he was supposed to be safe . The sad part is none of this can be any consolation to a country who spent a couple of crores feting and then hanging Kasab. Sarabjit may be brain dead but will it matter any more to Pakistan?
The culprits are already in prison. This is just double jeopardy.
India wants Pakistan to 'seriously' consider his immediate release. Right! Like they are going to shudder in their kurtas and give in to our 'demands'. Not happening!

India has been called the Asian Superpower. The only superpower that we have is the ability to plunder, rape and procreate.

Earlier this month, the earth shook and people died. This time however, our buildings fell apart by themselves. I bet none of those who visited the hospital in Bhopal would have thought they would die but that's the way things worked.
In Bangladesh, hundreds of workers at a factory that made cheap clothes for our western cousins died when the building collapsed like a house of cards. As I am writing this post, the building owner was arrested as he was trying to flee to India. Really?! Of all the places in this earth, to think he believed India could provide refuge to a Bangladeshi?

In other disasters, Sivakasi had their annual fire accident and a dozen people died. People started talking about worker safety. For a country that can't protect its children, how can we protect workers any better?
Fire broke out at a missile test range lab in Northern India. As I read the headline, I had visions of the chaos at Skynet ala Terminator.

In other inane news of the fortnight, Akhilesh refused to address Harvard to protest how one of his ministers were given the SRK treatment at the Logan International Airport. Seriously, Akhilesh refusing to speak at Harvard is like Rakhi Sawant refusing to attend the Oscars. Does it really matter?

Sonam Kapoor, daughter of Anil Kapoor and whose only claim to fame is her obscene collection of handbags, flashed much skin at one of those dime-a-dozen fashion shows. As the brand ambassador of LO'Real Paris, she showed off in minimal makeup and even less clothes.

Auto maker Bajaj, became the target of much ridicule and contempt when it announced its quadricycle project. Curiously, Tata was most vocal. Why not? After creating the world's cheapest car, competition is not something they want.


Adlabs Imagica, dubbed India's answer to Disneyland opened its doors to a nation that has every thing else.
 
Former American president Bush Jr inaugurated his library. So what kind of books would one of the dumbest American president have in his library?

Stating the obvious, our scientists finally concluded that God does play a role in restoring sanity to the mind. Its like one of those MasterCard advertisements-
Cost of hiring scientists that had nothing better to do - $ 500,000.
Cost of experiments to find out what can cure insanity - $ 6 million.
Realization that God does heal the body and mind - Priceless!

A fifteen year old study declared that the bra is a false necessity. Male scientists who had nothing better to do but to find a legitimate way to stare at breasts arrived at the conclusion that 'the breasts do not benefit from being deprived of gravity... and breasts would gain more tone and support themselves if no bra was used'. You don't say!

Age seems to have caught up with Facebook. With the declining numbers of people logging in or signing up, Facebook is going through an awkward puberty.

The world celebrated 20 years of the Internet (aka 'free porn') and here's a peep at the world's first website!

We'll have a proper monsoon, sayeth the weatherman. So this is supposed to be good news for farmers, atleast the ones that didn't kill themselves over the past many years. And it looks like even nature is happy that India is going to vote. Both Congress and the BJP will claim that the country got a good monsoon because of them.

IT/BT barons threw their weight behind 14 candidates in India's silicon valley. While I haven't decided who I'll vote for, I was surprised they didn't decide to support a friend who is in the fray - Sridhar Pabbishetty. I've worked with him for several years as part of an NGO and he is perhaps one who has my vote eyes shut. I'd let his actions and his past talk for him and I've always wished we had more people like him in active politics.
So when I read about the National Institute of Political Excellence, a school for Politicians, I am optimistic.


In other good news, cops threw the book at the father of the nine year old that stunned the world, who he drove his dad's million dollar Ferrari. Judging by the State Police's love for money and the fact that they have weak road transport laws, this dad would've weaseled his way out of this case by the time you've read this post.

Sheila of Delhi (not a jawani by any stretch of imagination) accepted protest letters signed by 10 lakh Delhiites against inflated bills and faulty meters. Well, what did you expect when our meters are 'Made in China'?

And in another ingenious way to rip us off, the government decided to take our money and give it back. I would love to meet the wizards who churn out these ideas!
While our national capital has been ripping off her citizens, we do have something to gloat about - we will be creating the largest, most heaviest machine in the planet.


LaLa Land - West Bengal - notched up another headline for the month. Didi found the drama surrounding the Saradha group chit fund too lukewarm for her liking. Solution: She is going to tax you so that she can pay you back. I hear the Nobel committee is considering her for  next year's Economics prize.

Such are the wonderful times that we live in!

Apr 22, 2013

While I was gone... Part 2/3 [April 2013]

Violence in prison is not a bedtime story. While there is no honor among thieves, prisoners live by an unspoken code of conduct. Politicians and Bollywood bad boys enjoy the premium cuts, rapists and mass murderers fall at the very bottom of the food chain here.

The past week saw another Delhi-16 rapist/animal experience the hospitality at Tihar. Fellow prisoners broke the arm of the bastard who starred in the most publicized gang rape in modern India. While I'll elect to send this bastard back to his misery, Indian women aren't celebrating yet. Any surprise why?
Men continued to abduct, rape and torture. Not necessarily in that order. Age no bar. Mental condition no bar. Bar no bar. Our women continued to be gang raped and depending on how many parts of their body needed to sewn up, our rapists would have raped atleast 2 children and 10 women by the time you've finished reading this post.

When we heard the gory details of December 16, we cringed. Misogynous men and certain women claimed it was because of the dress the women wear and the way they tempt. They theorized it is physically impossible to rape if the girl does not cooperate. Not so! We said. Technically, it would have made sense. But how can a girl keep her chastity safe when she is being spread apart by men with a singular mission to 'cover the face, f*ck the base and forget the case'. And so we cringe every time we read a lady is abducted and gang raped

But how do you explain when men rape children as young as 4 years old? What is the pleasure that these mother f*ckers get when they penetrate and destroy a defenseless child
How did that child tempt you?
Who do you trust your children with anymore?
More importantly, can the victims ever live a healthy life ever again?


Our politicians have the uncanny talent of churning out scams and scandals so fast that rapes and atrocities against women and children are mere commercial breaks before the next billion dollar scam. Indians in India might be forgiven for letting them off the hook but not our foreign minister

And in related rape news, Dharampal who raped and then mercilessly killed the victim and her family while on parole will be hanged. Way to go, Prez!
Another tourist was raped and killed. Thankfully, not by a lecherous, sex-starved, repressed Indian male but by another tourist who was caught fleeing. That's fodder for another episode of Banged Up Abroad!


And if you wondered why victims haven't been reporting crimes as often as they should, the ordeal a 10 year old faced when she approached the cops must convince you why we have such dismal numbers. 

Self defense doesn't work either. 

So while we are grappling with the sudden media spurt of gang rapes in India, in the good ol United States of America, girls as young as 12 will have access to 'morning-after' pills. Well, if they can't beat it, might as well celebrate it. While women's groups are hailing this landmark judgement, I can't fathom why young girls must be expected/allowed to have sex and why young boys/men must be expected/allowed to impregnate girls this young.
A recent survey revealed 60% of 8 - 12 year olds in the US have STDs. I am sure their parents are a proud lot.

An ex-Thomson Reuters employee sued his former employer over alleged discriminatory practices. Having worked in the company myself, I'd say this is not the only instance of discrimination that I've seen within. Corporate bullying, unethical managerial practices and undue favoritism are just some of the regular sins but I've said enough already. 


Tax evasion by major companies saw the Income Tax department breathing down their collars.

Death is all around us and strangely the DoT (Department of Telecom) just woke up to the realization that they should not be installing high-powered cell phone towers near residential areas. While this can be rude awakening to the risks it poses, I don't see anything changing. The DoT will continue to allow mobile operators with deep pockets to install towers in and around densely populated cities and town in India. Who cares?

It was a fortnight of famous deaths too. The Iron Lady passed away and United Kingdom was not so united after all. 

Robert Edwards, pioneer of IVF died after a long illness. Besides providing a way to procreate, he also made it possible for millions of Vicky donors around the world.

Savitha's inquest dug up a whole lot of muck and religious goo. At the end of it, I doubt if Ireland will change their laws for the sake of one dead pregnant Asian.

From car-chases, it appears that Americans have suddenly acquired a taste for guns.
In Georgia and Boston.

The United Axis of Evil delayed a missile test to avoid pushing the North Koreans over the edge. Gee! And they just realized that now?!
Thankfully, China - America's moneylender - has promised to talk to the lil Kim on a peaceful solution. Why the Americans didn't restrain themselves in the first place baffles me.



America is a funny nation.
They are neck deep in debt. Nine out of ten families live hand to mouth, millions don't have jobs or houses, nearly all of them live their entire lives on credit cards and yet they will spend trillions of dollars in military and financial aid. To add sauce to our kachori, they even increased the amount of aid they will provide to Pakistan. Yet inspite of all this, Pakistan will still remain one of the poorest countries in the planet.  Just incredible, I say!
So while your relative/friend is working their capitalist butt off in the US, you can be sure his/her tax dollars will end up fattening the next Pakistani ruler's wallet.

Talking about Pakistan, Mush came like a knight in shining armor, only to get stuck, caught and strung! The man clearly has the combined IQ of a hair comb.

Some unexpected money for Malya Senior, as he won a settlement of Rs 1.5 crore. For a man as wealthy as he is, this loose change would be enough to fuel his exotic car collection but not enough to restart his sick airline.

Hairy Baba cast his vote for the BJP. With the deluge of support for the BJP, the coming elections are looking more lopsided than any in recent history. While I don't support the countless good PR that Modi has been getting on facebook and else, if Modi is half as good as the millions say he is, then we are all in for the ride of our lives.

Some welcome news when our Pradan Mantri proposed to scrap the rule where judges get to pick their successors. Long overdue, this change I'll say. Because the recent plethora of inane and silly laws did point to a rot at its roots. 


A member of the SEAL team that captured and killed Osama was allowed to testify why he sent confidential documents to Wikileaks. His motive was simple- To expose the American military's "bloodlust" and disregard for human life in Iraq and Afghanistan. And I thought that fact was adequately established. How naive of me!

In the past many weeks and in many parts of India, thousands of people have lost their homes. No, its not because they defaulted on loans, but because the government knows it is more convenient to displace them than to disappoint construction moguls in search of prime land. Spare a few minutes and sign the petition.

No Sunny, no. We don't want vulgarity in our songs. We just want to see you gyrate and moan in absolute ecstasy. And so we were promised that there is nothing in any of her songs. Good



Didi came, she walked, she whimpered back. I've said this many times before and I'll say it again. She is the political equivalent of Rakhi Sawant - loud and uncouth. Maybe she should change track and take some lessons from Nitish.
It looks like the former CJI Katju forgot his medication, again. This time he wants the Prez to pardon Bhullar. Why the senile old man won't give up baffles millions. I have one word for you - Bengay!

Sreeshanth: Cry baby.
..and a baby who will make you cry.

I have friends and relatives working in Infosys. Until a couple of years ago, a job there would have meant you've arrived in your career. Settled. Time to get married, buy a house, sell your stocks and retire in peace.
Not any longer. Infosys's fall from glory is a lesson in corporate money management. Infosys lost much of its shine and so did Gold.

A Boeing 737 overshot the runway and landed at sea. Human error or equipment failure, what is appalling is how most of the passengers didn't remember how to deploy the life jackets during emergency. So much for those safety lessons after boarding.

So it's proven that we love lists. In the past fortnight, we had Mila Kunis top the list of the '10 most f*ckable celebrities'. But honestly, why would we need to know that?! Are any of those who voted going to get a chance at it? You wish!
And while Hollywood would love such tags, our desi actresses who gyrate half-naked wonder aloud why the sexy tag has stuck


Another politician got his ugly over-sized feet in his mouth. He repented. Welcome to the club!
After Katju helpfully pointed out how we vote like much cattle, Jairam Ramesh, added substance to what we've been suspecting for a long time - We don't choose our leaders for their intellect. Gee! You really think so!

Online, there was much excitement and argument.
Psy released his second video - Gentleman. It sounds (and looks) like a sequel that pokes fun at his country(wo)men. By the time, you've read this post, the video would've got another 100,000 likes. Personally, I think this video lacks the punch its predecessor had but hey! those pelvic thrusts are way easier to copy and spoof.


A video that did cause a lot of uproar was of a pair of (under-aged) Keralite kids whose over indulgent parents allowed to take their million dollar Ferrari and Land Rover Vogue out for a quick spin.
While you can clearly hear how the kids have made their parents mighty proud by their driving skills, I wonder why the cops have not made an example by arresting the kids and their wealthy parents. Obviously, they might have 'bought off' every minister and cop in a 100 km radius but it is parents like these that result in a nation where children don't know the difference between what is right and what is wrong. I shudder to think how many times and what else these parents have allowed their children to do what is wrong from any angle and every culture.

Natural disasters turned many parts of the world into a pile of rubble - Iran, China.

In all that has been happening in India over the past several months, this is clear - What nature left untouched, we succeeded in destroying. As news of how in-laws of a bride destroyed a two month old fetus because she didn't bring in enough dowry, the officials sprung into action. We all like to say how dowry is evil publicly, but behind closed doors the girl is sold pound for fair-skinned pound. 

About 2 years ago, when I was about to marry my then girlfriend, my mom and relatives lectured me on how it is suitable for me to expect and demand dowry from my 'to be' in-laws. On our engagement, I was again 'counseled' by my mom first and several of my 'aunts' on how dowry is necessary so that the girl's family will be held in high prestige because they gave a sizable dowry. Not that my family needed the money. I was appalled. I refused.
This is quite the predicament for any Indian man when he refuses to accept dowry for the right reasons.
You could be a political prisoner or a prisoner of your principles. Our human rights record is not something we can be proud of either.

The Sanjay Dutt mega serial continued. Why must we even negotiate anymore? Can't we see that Munnabhai actually has no intention of going without a fight? If you ask me, the Court should've just picked him up and thrown him into prison 3 weeks ago. What we got instead is 4 more weeks of this drama. Argh!

About a year ago, Samsung lost a high profile patent case in the US, it is back in the news again. For all the wrong reasons, apparently. Clearly, business ethics were given the smack-down.


Bangalore went Bang Galore!
When an IED exploded near the local office of the BJP, everybody ran like headless chicken. Foot-in-mouth politicians had their own colorful theories and we all had a good chuckle. Even as I write this post, there hasn't been a single arrest though there has been plenty of clues.
Boston -1. Bangalore - 0


And that's the way the cookie crumbles!

Apr 10, 2013

While I was gone... Part 1/3 [April 2013]

You've got to admit it - the last 10 days have been as colorful as India could be on Holi.
Journalism is a strange bed-fellow. Virile, youngish men and women burn their midnight oil to write utter garbage.
But this I say 'Journos, we are no longer shocked by anything that Indian men will and can do. Atleast not after the litany of "brutal" crimes against women since December 16, 2012. We know Indian men will do everything (in)humanly possible to any women they can lay their eyes on. We cried 'No More' and we got more'.

But I will make a difference. I will not talk about how a dozen young men forced themselves into the house of a 21 year old lady, and beat her family up. Nor will I talk about how 2 minors were confined and raped. or how a man raped his own aunt over a property issue.
But this I will say, for all you girls who were wooed by young men with raging hormones, don't break up with them or you may get kidnapped, raped, tortured and even splashed with some acid of choice. This advice is also for men who could get raped like this poor fellow.
There begins a lifetime of therapy.

While the victims are sentenced to a lifetime of shame and pain, the accused will be treated and feted by our tax rupees.
Isn't it strange how the accused always threatens the victim(s) of 'dire consequences' if reported to the police. Isn't getting abused and violated, dire consequences of being a women in itself?

More food for thought - What can men who throw acid on women possibly gain? While I won't fight for Death to rapists, I will definitely lobby death for acid-throwers. About 90% of the rapes in India happen at the spur of the moment. Not too many rapes are elaborately planned or premeditated. While this won't absolve them of their crime, killing them is far too easy a punishment. On the other hand, men who throw acid in retaliation plan their crimes in great detail. They are aware of what acid can do to human flesh and do it to put 'her in her place'. They want to destroy her. They want to 'teach her a lesson'. What lesson are we ready to teach the two unidentified men who threw acid on 4 sisters?
At the other end of the spectrum, a brave victim at Patna delivered justice to her rapist. While I laud her courage and determination to do this, I wouldn't want the people to take the law in their hands. An eye for an eye will only make the world blind. We need to resuscitate our justice system and we shouldn't rest until she is up.

Last year, couple of legislators with plenty of time on their hands decided to check out mankind's best reason to use the internet, and the nation erupted. While the country has been strangely bereft of any sex scandals (of the consensual, non-violent kind) one young BJP legislator in the southern State of Karnataka decided to end the drought of no sex. While I haven't seen the hidden sex video yet, I wouldn't hold my breath either. Naked hairy Indian men are no fun to watch.

Last month, it was Cadbury. This time, it was Nokia. Looks like our IT dept just put up the 'Hunting Season' boards.


In 'End of the World' news, North Korea rattled with rhetoric. Russia and China, one time allies of the war-torn economy, warned the West against pushing Korea's buttons. The strange thing about rhetoric like this neither the US nor the Koreans will survive a full blown nuclear war. Korea can move their missiles any bloody way they please, but the truth is no one likes the barrel of the gun pointing at them.

Over the course of the last 10 days, it has shut down its only link with the South and has forced foreign embassies out. Did someone say Chernobyl? Gee! You think so! 

The pattern is evident.
The Americans who are daring the Koreans to fire the first missile have themselves invaded and devastated economies when it profited them. Case in point- Iraq, Afghanistan. No one found any evidence of the 'weapons of mass destruction'. Instead what they left behind was an economy in tatters. Am amazed at how the Americans now think that only the Koreans are engaged in bellicose rhetoric yet have indulged in plenty of bellicose rhetoric themselves. No ones the wiser.
The North Koreans have, on the other hand, had cozy alliances with countries that have been selling nukes for the right price. For all that we know, the Koreans may have a missile that could wipe off South Korea, Japan and the East Coast but lets hope the 'experts' are right when they say 'the Koreans can't possibly have nukes or the weapon systems'.

Financially and otherwise, a war between the two could suck the whole world in. For the Americans, this could be Vietnam 2.0 and for the rest of us - the end of human civilization as we know it. The Koreans aren't exactly looking at winning this war, but to just prove a point. What surprises me is not how the North has been behaving but how US has been cornering them. Despite their treaties, the Americans and the South Koreans have been taunting them with war exercises in the years since. The war cries don't seem to die and I have the funny feeling that we are headed towards the plunging end of a waterfall. Any last wishes?

The Indian Army announced an 'ambitious' programme to upgrade its entire fleet of 2000 infantry combat vehicles plus equipment. Rough 'back of the envelope' calculations brings the cost of such a massive upgrade to a couple of trillion greenbacks. Russians, Europeans and the Americans can now wipe the drool of their chins. Here comes another gazillion dollar scandal.
Maybe we should have privatized our Army and let our companies equip them. Atleast that's how our young IT companies have been arming our Maoists. Do the people who run these companies have any conscience?

The desi version of CIA, NIA announced with much fanfare that it was going to probe and punish the Italian marines. Italy twitched. I can almost hear the phones ringing at #7 Race Course. Sonia, where's your patriotic duty?!

Cyprus is sinking, but in a glimmer of rare hope thousands of prisoners donated their savings to help keep a voluntary clinic open.

Our lawmakers can probably take a clue or two from Washington when it put 2 fifth graders on trial for a foiled attempt in raping and killing a female classmate. They stand trial as juveniles. No ugly marches, no candle-light vigils and no 'castrate/hang the bastards' placards. What divides us from US, is how they trust the law to take its course.

India switched itself to Poll Mode, with BJP and Congress announcing their lists of candidates. In the next couple of weeks and months, we will get to hear of liberal dollops of freebies in the Indian version of the 'Joy of Giving'.
After his hectic 'Free Sanju' campaign Katju, helpfully pointed out how 90% of Indians vote on caste lines, like cattle and sheep. Well, what's wrong with cattle and sheep? Don't we travel cattle-class already?

Kerala, God's Own Country, continued to be in the spotlight after one of its more colorful State Minister was charged of domestic abuse, adultery and everything that his wife could possibly think of. What followed provided fodder for an entire society that has been fed on sleazy soap opera dramas.

While we are allowed to watch Sex and the City, watch what you tweet. Your David Dhawanisque joke could land you on your butt.

Big blow for big Pharma. Indians can now afford to get cancer after the country's apex court struck down a lengthy patent battle for Novartis AG's cancer drug Glivec

Uncle Sam wasn't happy about this.
Pope washed the sinner's feet, and raised the eyebrows of conservatives and orthodox Catholics around the world. 
Malya came, he tried, he lost. The flamboyant liquor baron lost another battle to stop his creditors from selling his crown jewels.
While our economy is in doldrums, we can rest assured that our apex bank is secure. A Keralite was arrested and detained for trying to enter the Reserve Bank of India. All this for publicity. What a Loser! Doesn't he know Poonam at all?

Yesteryear actress and all-round hottie Manisha Koirala is still the really beautiful lady that she was. She is back! No catchphrases, no ads, no tacky wristbands. Only sheer grit and determination. You go girl!


So while Mrs Koirala has been finding work and doing better, another Bollywood actor has been bed-ridden and forgotten. May we beg of your largesse here, please?
In other Bollywood news, Sanjay Dutt had a change of mind after his tearful PR exercise and filed a review petition. Bollywood and even a former Supreme Court justice threw their collective weight around the 'Free Sanjay' circus trailer.

I want you all to take a good long look at this- This is what ails India.
In a country that has been plagued with terrorism since its Independence, when its highest legal authority passes a verdict that is beyond review, what makes influential people think they can campaign for freedom and arm-twist the government (and the court) to reverse it? Is the justice system different for the common man and for those in the limelight? Dutt deserves to go to prison if for what he has done. Lesser mortals are thrown into prison for lesser crimes. Ignorance of the law is not an excuse. Not for me, not for you, definitely not for Mr Dutt.

India's poster boy for Boxing faced the music and had to give some of his hair and blood samples.  People in sport denying doping allegations are becoming old. I think we need sportspeople who will dope and then admit it. That would be something new and refreshing. See, in about a few years from now, Vijender will fail a dope test and then admit taking drugs. So why not save us all the drama, confess and join Bollywood.

Bad news for criminals starting this year.. our President, Judge and Executioner in Chief Mr Pranab Mukherjee had a busy day signing, and we all got a new Criminal law. So, unless you really want to live in prison for a long time, either get into politics or get a new career. And oh yeah. Stop whipping your d*ck out because he also signed a new anti-rape law.

For Obama, From Australia. With Love.


So until I'm back with more wonderful news of the incredible times we live in, here's some pearls of wisdom:
Women- Please electrify your undies.
Indian Men- err.. Nevermind.
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