May 31, 2013

The chickens that didn't hatch: The truth you need to know

So it is a fact that Arindamn doesn't like his critics.
He is a sore loser and a cry baby.

I feel compelled to post a series of links dredged from the internet on one of the largest education scams to hit modern India, so at the risk of getting my post banned/blocked with juicy lawsuits, here goes:


Studying in this "B-School" [note the quotes] can make you the best in .. errr... who are we kidding - nothing. Tall claims busted.

And if you'd still like to play Russian roulette with your hard earned monies, then I suggest you read the truth here.


And if this post does wake the pony-tailed phony from his daze, then you can be pretty sure that I will meet the same fate as this poor chap. Ahh!! the pitfalls of being indexed and famous!


And so he did the cardinal sin of dissing one of our pride and joys - IIMs. And yes, we dared to think beyond the IIPMs too.

But why have we descended on Mr Pony-tail like a bunch of vultures? 
Do we really care about the thousands who fall prey to his slick SRK advts? 
Are we really concerned about the damage he's causing? I don't think so.

Strip away all his facades, and its easy to see that he is just another businessman out to make his billions, hook or by crook . So? 

Look around and you'll see atleast 10 other unscrupulous business(wo)men who have the same goals too.
Why bother?

The only reason why we've latched onto him like a hungry lioness is because of the way he has 
tried shutting us up. Given to ourselves we would have shut up, in time. In the words of Fasttrack, we would've 'moved on' to the dozens of other juicy scams that our politicians supply us with.

So through all this, Mr Pony-tail ought to remember how futile it is to try and muzzle mouths he can't shut. He blocks one Site, 10 other will replicate the posts. He muzzles one writer, 20 others will gain inspiration and fight. Ironically, by doing what he is doing, he is justifying his critics and echoing their suspicions. He is validating what they think he is- Nothing but a wonderful fraud!

May 29, 2013

While I was celebrating... May 2013 [2/2]

It was a month where we saw an unabashed love for money and power.
IPL, the flavor of the month went through the regular wash cycles of scam and scandals, and you can bet (pun intended) your shorts that none of those arrested will ever be punished. Our greed knows no bounds and we simply don't have the legislation or the balls to punish the scum of our sports.

Finally!

In the finals, CSK went down without a whimper. It was a win-win. 

Indians could finally retire the god of cricket, when we dedicated another win to him. And foolhardy CSK fans felt vindicated that its captain faced defeat like a grown man. Well, what did he expect? A medal? 
We shouldn't expect the VP of India Cements Inc. to squeal against his boss, or should we? 

As the skeletons tumbled out, a 'Bollywood star' found his spotlight of glory. Vindu Dara Singh sang like a canary and we had more drama than the 'Bold and the Beautiful'.


They say hindsight is 20/20, so with what we now know about CSK's shadowy CEO/team owner/team principal/odd-job guy, is it anybody's guess how the team always reached the finals even with many mediocre matches. BCCI head honcho/CSK Managing Director N. Srinivasan refused to step down. No surprises there either. 

In happier times

Sreeshanth is small fry and is just that village boy whose eyes lit up when he saw the big city lights, but his Company tells another story. From being called the Kerala Express and revered in God's Own Country, his fall from grace was faster than his bowling spells. We could argue till we are blue in the gills, but as long as we still buy tickets and throng cricket stadiums, corruption in cricket can not be contained.

Angelina Jolie replaced her sagging mammaries with ones that came with a warranty and we all celebrated her unselfish act. So does this mean we replace everything that could go wrong before it does and say we did it for mankind?


What does surprise me is why a successful A-lister like Piggy Chops have to resort to doing item numbers in random movies! I'll let you figure that out.
Meanwhile, banks have managed to recover about Rs 1000 crore from Kingfisher. Seeing how Malya was smart enough to not pledge sufficient collateral, I'd be surprised if the banks recover even half of what he owes them.

The boston bomber got no grave and if it wasn't serious already, we now have a new sexually transmitted superbug that is deadlier than AIDS.
Choli ke peche..

The Chinese premier came and we played dumb (charades). Later, we cleaned up after they left.

Sanjayda felt betrayed. Really?! After we allowed you move into the jail like a techie was moving into a new hostel room. If anything, we all think the court should've thrown you into prison years ago and made an example out of you.

Talking about cops and prisons, we saw 2 Indian cops beat the living crap out of eachother in broad daylight. It was almost like two knights dueling eachother. To the victor, the spoils of fame.

The Sharada chit fund made plenty of news. From sex  workers to other bankers, it looks like they looted everyone. Hook, line and Stinker. In familiar news, an Indian couple was apprehended for duping several banks and financial institutions for millions of rupees. 


Our fledgling financial outsourcing industry took a beating when perpetrators withdrew about $45 million after hacking into secure terminals.
While this might lead to more dumb regulations and restrictions, what I fear is how all this will affect genuine customers.

Our national bird, CBI was hauled through the coals again. And our Navy fought a losing battle against itself. Our insatiable thirst for forbidden sex is indeed proving to be the bane of our existence both here and across the pond.

Pakistan did the unthinkable. It demanded an international probe on the incident and we did a Pakistan - Shift+DELETE

Nothing Official about it!

Meanwhile, BJP lampooned the government (read Sonia G) for making the PM a mere puppet. It took our leading opposition 9 years to say that?
Rahul resorted to some petty threats. So what is he? The school Prefect?
A minister from Down Under was left red-faced after he 'liked' a picture of a young teen mooning himself. And while you are on facebook, 'like' at your discretion but post anything you want, for the apex court of the country has spoken. Take note, Shiv Sena scum. But bloggers, Beware! You could still land in prison.


The public sector in India is funny. As millions of graduates struggle, we have murderers, rapists and spies have no problem finding favor and employment at public sector organizations. Latest from the realm of Incredible Indian opportunities, is the news that a man was found spying for Pakistan while working in the Army. Background checks ring a bell here?

In an innovation that might benefit humanity, an Indian teen invented a 20 second battery charger. This could be the biggest invention since the wheel.

In Weird News of the Month, Sherlyn Chopra showed off her black chuddies and buddy Mallika Sherawat had the usual bout of chronic verbal diarrhea. Her interview was a verbal equivalent of an Indian landfill after a rain. Where are the culture police when we need them

Queen of sewer talk

Elsewhere, a man 'demaned' himself and we found out that  pigs that taste better when they are high.

Former South Korean model Hang Mioku, is a testament to our pursuit of vanity. Big Mistake!
Like a dog returning to its vomit, iGate's Phaneesh Murthy was fired for sexual impropriety and misconduct. Deja Vu`. He cried coarse. Heck, he could be innocent too. But surely, he could've been smarter than to crap on the plate he eats from.


Husbands and mother-in-laws, Beware! Those suicide threats could come true. And if you are a man who likes to keep his wife's privates private, you've just scored the 'Go to Jail' card. Congratulations!


The Mango People spoke about The Mango People's Party. Question is, are they listening?
Google Glass made news. And I've got 2 words - More Porn.
Indian students celebrated when CBSE announced their results and Comedy Central ran foul with the foolish folks at the Centre. 

Maoists killed yet another  victim and Congress began frothing at the mouth. 
Dabbawallas ran, Amway is on its way out and so is Ram Jethmalani.

As the cycle of life shifts gear, we are halfway through this wonderful year. Sit back and enjoy!

May 19, 2013

While I was celebrating... May 2013 [1/2]

I'm nuts about May!!
I think it's because growing up, that was when my summer vacations started. And for a boy who loved getting covered in mud and the sheer thrill of adventure, May was the month.


This was also the month of some of the craziest and insaneiest things we did.
After marathons and walk-a-thons, some of us decided we needed to shag a lot and many of us used our hands and imaginations to good use in Philly. Now, to save you the trouble of searching, I've researched and found that the world record for the longest session is held by a Japanese guy who imagined his girlfriend, family, friends and co-workers to keep him stimulated for 9 hours and 58 minutes. Family?! Yew
And Porn got a healthy thumbs up too! Researchers in the Netherlands (?!) claim that porn is positive. Really?! Why don't we have studies like that in India?


In other weird news from across the planet, Jacko's problems simply refuse to die and a school in Washington closed today due to great weather.
The UN threw its weight on repealing the much maligned AFSPA in Kashmir and the North East. One of the reasons why our army will get away with this is because the huge majority of us are unaware of the atrocities the army commits in the name of peace.

Talking about peace, Americans want their government to keep their noses off Syria. The two-year long conflict has divided the Middle East and threatens the fragile peace in the region. So while most Americans are oblivious to the crisis in the Middle East, they still want to keep Modi out.



North Korea sentenced an American to 15 years hard labor, fired a few missiles and now everyone 'thinks' they could have long-range missiles that could eventually reach the great continent of North America. 

Meanwhile, America signed a deal with Australia to sell several squadrons of F-35s and modified versions of the Super Hornets. Sigh!
Now, tell me something - How can a country that fails on every infrastructure parameter manage to create nuclear submarines?


So while Uncle Sam is eager to layeth the smackdown on ruffians in their backyard, we are trying to sit pretty and pretend the Chinese incursion didn't happen. Oh, the irony! Our flag meetings and 'coercive diplomacy', or the lack of it, wasn't going to affect the Chinese outcome. They won a bloodless coup when they capitalized on the perfect time to pitch their tents in our lawn. Our paralyzed government sang its last swan song, our intelligence agencies tied itself in a knot and unlike the military leaders in countries around us, our armed forces are impotent and mere stooges of our corrupt politicians
The Chinese came, stayed for as long as they pleased and left when they wanted. All our bellicose rhetoric and empty posturing only made us look like utter buffoons. Not Mohammed Ali, Mr Foreign Minister.
Even their dailies lampooned our inaction.

The Supreme Court called the CBI, the government's parrot. While we all sighed in fake relief, the PM and his council of ministers took offense. Now, repeat after me- 'Oh Yeah!'

Israel struck out and the world looked the other way
Google touched a few raw nerves when it recognized Palestine as an independent nation and some of our text books gave Arunachal Pradesh to China. In your face, Rest of the World!

Down south, we made our political aspirants sweat it out . Eventually, we made sure we spoke (and got rewarded for it) and when the ballots were counted, the ruling party crumbled and the lesser evil rose to power. The celebrations lasted an entire week and the bubbly flowed freer than water. Alas, it is now time to walk the talk.


Meanwhile, our western neighbor got a new head and we all celebrated the novelty. Promises were made and will be broken.

It has been proven that elections can cause loose talk. The Congress-led UPA government have suddenly developed amnesia and appear to be talking utter trash. Well, seeing as how they have looted us for a decade, I think it is only fair they allow their compatriots from the other side of the fence to loot us for a few years too.


Some of us took the law into our hands when a 14 year old girl was gang-raped in LaLa Land. Not surprising because Didi wasn't really inspiring confidence in anyone with her brand of mickey mouse governance.


India isn't known for her choice of politicians, so when our honorable minister, Mr Manmohan Singh starting shuffling his feet in the mud, it was time for Mrs G to take control.


We did a Sarabjit when a Pakistani prisoner was brutally killed. India said all the right things, again. Our politicians gained political mileage and Pakistan issued a travel advisory to all its citizens traveling in India. And I thought to myself, 'so does that travel advisory also apply to their citizens who've come to kill innocent Indians too?'
Now, can we have the rest of Sarabjit, please?

While most celebrities in showbiz are reluctant to step away from the limelight, Leonardo DiCaprio announced he is taking a break while still at the top of his game. Admirable!

So it is an open secret that Apple and Samsung love to fight with each other, but Nokia said it. Switch


Like a hyena following the scent of rotting meat, Priya Rai is now set to titillate the world's largest democracy. Bring it on!


Johnson & Johnson's has struggled with many of their baby products in the US for a while, but it faced the authorities' wrath when it was using ethylene oxide - a substance used to produce industrial chemicals and to sterilize medical equipment - to kill bacteria in its baby powder and had not conducted mandatory tests to make sure there were no remaining traces in the powder. Shame!


In sporting news, Abhinav Bindra convinced the International Olympic Committee (IOC) to take its prodigal son back. And how!

The latest edition of IPL was spicier than a Chicken Tikka masala. Starting from Farah Khan's Jumpin' Japak to  the revelation of spot-fixing. Now, I bet Sreeshanth didn't see this coming when he did a Lalit Modi on twitter as IPL 6 began but I've always felt the KKR win last year was just a flash in the pan.

While Sreeshanth & Co is guilty beyond doubt, how many of you think he is just the fall guy? So that explains how he built a palatial bungalow even though he has played so little. Old man Katju, I hear is preparing his 'Pardon Sreeshanth' petition even as I write this post.

Apathy knew no bounds either. Doctors in the City of Oranges, Nagpur, refused to provide timely treatment to teenager who was 'brutally' raped by her stepdad.
Five deaf and mute orphans were raped and 2 jawans got 10 years hard labor. Simply great!

In the words of the 'Mask'.. Somebody stop me!
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