Jul 20, 2013

While you were away: July 2013 (Part 2 of 3)

Confession time!
We, Indians, have a unique way to whitewashing our sins - We simply rename our cities.
Bombay became Mumbai, Calcutta - Kolkata, Madras - Chennai, Bangalore - Bengaluru.
What was wrong with the original names? But when cities change their names, their airports follow suit. The Bengaluru International Airport became .... (drum rolls)... (wait for it)....  Bengaluru Nadaprabhu Kempegowda International Airport. Even its acronym is a mouthful.
So why do we love Indianizing our cities so much? Because 60 odd years after we fought the British off, we still don't have a soul that is truly ours. We copy and paste ideas and solutions from the West (and sometimes from the East) and end up with crap that we didn't sign up for.

BJP's Prime Ministerial candidate Mr Modi compared his situation to how helpless he can be when he is backseat of a car that runs over a 'son of a dog'. Well, Mr Modi, my questions are as follows:

  • As a Chief Minister, what the effing hell were you doing in the backseat? Not taking a nap, I hope
  • Muslims! What the heck are you all doing? He just referred to you as 'sons of dogs'.
If he was anywhere in the Middle East, we would have presided over his public hanging last Friday. But he isn't and we love forgiving just as we love haggling for bargains. So we decided to settle for a lawsuit instead. I am surprised only one person in a billion thought of filing one.
I honestly dread the day when Modi will be in power, or in the backseat of the car (called India). He will drive right over the sons of dogs, cows, and chickens like nothing ever happened. Collateral damage, anyone?


Ottavio Quattrochi died. I am pretty sure he and Rajiv are having a massive chuckle right now. Ahh! the ones that got away.

Infy showed first signs of recovery. That said, the company has lost a lot of ground but better late than never!

The Justice system failed logic and a million Americans as George Zimmerman went scot-free in the murder trial of Trayvon Martin. The fact remains that loss is irreplaceable. Unfortunately, this also opened a pandora's box wide open. While I don't know the intricate details of the incident, I can also say trial by popular uprising can also be fatal. Many previous cases of the innocent being incarcerated often for decades before the actual suspect was charged must be a lesson that we all must learn.

We have our Pakistan/China, the US has Russia, Koreas have each other and Israel has Iran. If Iran is closer to a nuclear bomb, that is because you have one yourself and you have been crapping on their plates for a very long time now. Muslims, Christians and Jews have a lot of common history. We rever the same ancestors, have similar religious practices and yet we are at each other throats.

That brings me to China. Our government, in all its wisdom, decided to add half a lakh soldiers along the Indo-China border. We can't afford to feed our poor millions but 50,000 troops? Great, just what we all needed!
More troops = More of our tax rupees down the drain.


And talking about feeding the poor, we managed to feed couple hundred of our kids insecticides. Suddenly we cried hoarse and demanded that the largest Mid-day meal program in the world be scrapped. Really?!

Nelson Mandela hit 95. Happy for him! I hope he is blissfully unaware of the way people are fighting over his corpse. Happy International Mandela Day, Mr Mandela!
 

Paypal sneezed and made an ordinary Joe the richest man in history. I definitely hope HSBC sneezes in my direction and makes me one too. And no, I won't pay off the national debt, I'll just buy the BCCI.

So, folks. Those were the headlines. The rest of this post is just a boring repeat of what has been happening for a while now.
Putin toyed with Snowden, a little more. The man without a country has several fighting for him.
India is struggling to keep atleast the Rupee well-fed.

Keep those smiles in place. That could be the only thing you have that won't be taxed.
See you all in 10 days.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...