Aug 3, 2016

The Ugly Truth..

So you've read the Perks of Dating me, I have my quirks too! All 10 of them..
  1. My resting facial expression makes me look hostile, distant, sarcastic and rude. Infact I've been told I have the 'bitch face'. All of which are the exact opposite of what I really am. 
  2. I have weird sleeping/bed habits. Let's leave it at that. #MonicaGeller
  3. I take my happiness very seriously. Which includes my career, relationships, and my Everyday Happyness. Because of certain traumatic events in my childhood and teen years, I feel I've been robbed of all the experiences that other people lived through. I let other people dictate and direct how my life was lived for far too long. Now, when I get a bad gut feeling, I think about how it can affect my future. If it won't make me happy, I either try to fix it or simply get let go of it. And because of this, I think it takes a special kind of person to tolerate me.
  4. I don't have a need nor want for anything. I'd love to father a child, but I know that won't happen so, I am okay with adopting one, and I will. Sometime in the future. I neither covet nor have aspirations to inherit my parents' huge fortunes and this bothers many people. Keralites aren't supposed to be this way. I don't want to buy a house that won't be my home. I don't want to buy a car that I won't travel long distances in. I don't want to marry so that I can have a roommate/babysitter/caretaker/survivor when I am about to die. And this bewilders most people. I want to live with a person who will live her adventures too. 
  5. When it mattered, I've left all sorts of people and situations, and with no malice at heart. People can't understand why I'd do that. I find it hard that they cannot understand it is as much my life and my priorities as it is their life and their happiness. 
  6. I’m always questioning and challenging statements presented as facts. And because of this, many people label me as argumentative and opinionated. Maybe, but I still prefer to be convinced of something than the converse.
  7. I can't forget easily. I used to have trouble forgiving people who did something nasty to me. It could have been something they did when I was 5 years old, but I'll remember that every single time I interact with them. Similarly, if I've done something nasty or embarrassing, I find it really hard for me to move on. The memory of that incident stays like a bad stink. Of course, therapy in the last couple of months has helped.
  8. I have a super joyous (almost boisterous) way I laugh. Some people may find this annoying, embarrassing or just plain disgusting. 
  9. I have an irrational fear that I have/will have a terrible illness. I often imagine I will get immobile and wheelchair-bound because of major illness/accident. This does freak out a lot of people. #MyBucketList
  10. Sibling rivalry. My sister and I are estranged and while I have grieved the fact that I can't have a healthy relationship with her family, I've decided I can't waste my peace for a cause that hasn't yielded results in 25 years. Many people find this repulsive and think I won't make a good boyfriend/future husband/son-in-law because I am estranged from my family. 
So, that's about it. I'm not perfect and I don't have a perfect life but I know there isn't another person like me. When I started on this social introspective experiment, the logical part of my mind didn't want me to write all this here. Because once it's out here, it's out there for the world to see. 
And I asked myself, 'So what?!' 
None of this will matter to people who truly love me. Everyone else will move on. 
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