Feb 5, 2018

ain't no sunshine within...

You wake up to the warmth of the amber sun.
The birds are happy.. and so should you too.

You've survived another night of cold sweaty dreams.
Another night where you've fought off hollow fears of the unknown.
But now that you're awake, it's going to be easy. Yeah!

Some days are easier than the others.
Drowning yourself into things that won't matter when you're dying.
'Where are my cheerleaders?'.

The yearning is real.
Like a cough that won't go away, 
The pain is unspeakable. 

You want to stand up and run. 
Pretend all is well. With time.

You feel ridiculed.
Humiliated. Defeated. and then Drained.

Like cacti parched for love...
All you need is a little water. 

You know you can't quit. 
Nothing else to do, but wait.

How can I breathe without knowing there is hope?
When vows become woes.
As silvered shadows of dancing leaves play out their evening sonnet.
And evenings stretch out. Endlessly.

You peak your ears to hear the silence screaming within you.
After decades of solitude, being alone should have been easy.

You read. You write. You listen. You pine. 
And there's a song inside you. But you can't hum.

How can I breathe without knowing there is hope.
Tomorrow you can drown yourself in work.
Tonight we'll struggle. Again.

How did I end up in solitary confinement?

-N
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