Apr 25, 2021

A Love that Lifted

We met. We didn't mean to fall in love. 
We were practically single and weren't looking for love. 

But there she was - wearing a knee-length skirt and a top that made her look like a dainty fairy. We didn't even lock eyes, even though she caught my eye. I loved the way she spoke. She was and still remains the most articulate lady I've ever met.

A chance trip back home led to a relationship that started with the silliest joke. Her laughter hooked me on. We spoke through the night and almost every night after that. We bared our lives, darkest secrets, and felt like 16-year-olds again - hormones and more - all over again.

We loved and fought hard. We had screaming matches when we couldn't bear being apart. And then when we met, I felt like we just fit perfectly.

I still remember the first day I felt butterflies in my stomach. I felt feelings I'd never felt before. I felt shy! I giggled and I'm pretty sure she bit her lips to stifle her blush. Her eyes were mesmerizing, and today, years later, I know that was the moment we both knew something was wrong yet deeply right. Things weren't going to be the same after that moment. 

We never pretended to be anything we weren't. The curtains and the masks were never deployed. We would make love and I'd worry if my sweat would drip on her face and she would pull my face closer and kiss me. She loved to mop the sweat off my brow even when she knew I would shriek in horror that a person would touch my sweat, let alone tolerate it. 

Her hugs had the power to heal. And heal she did. She healed me in ways I never thought were possible. 
She taught me to live in the moment and I'm so glad I let myself live that relationship. 
She made me discover my limits and our possibilities. 

The irony was - She thought I was a flirt. Even when she was the first girl I had trouble flirting with. I couldn't help being in her life. 

Strangely, we never discussed nor thought of 'our' future and we struggled to break up. Several times in a brief couple of months we dated. But when we did, we knew it was the end - or at least one of us was serious it was the end. 

The first time we met, we had dinner and ice cream. And coincidentally, that was what we did the last time we met as well.

It's true we never held back and through the moments we lived together, we saw each other's flaws and never regretted the time we spent with each other.

We often wondered together the 'Why' and the 'How long' of 'Us'. 
But when we did, we bit the bullet and took the plunge, and as wonderful as it was when we met, as complete as we felt we were with each other, as devoid life felt without each other before this, we parted with a hug - that same life-giving hug I still crave for. 

I know she thinks about me. Because I do every single day. 

Was our relationship doomed? I don't know. 
Was our relationship a mirage? I know it wasn't. 

This was a relationship that lived its course... Yet one where I cannot unlove. 
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