*Creative Visualization

I've got a fascination with commercials. Well, can you blame me? There's nothing else to watch on TV.
What the hell do the Ratings mean:
0-5  : Not worth your presence in the same zip code as the TV
5-7  : Err... the advt is pretty, but I hate the concept/product
7-10: 'Drop-the-dishes, stop-the-sex, jaw-dropping, that-is-incredible' 15 seconds of TV

PS: Read my posts on 'Creative Visualization' here and here.

Older posts at the bottom.

Honest iPhone Ads..
Hell ya!

Bollywood Ahoy!

Surely the biggies have moved on to endorse brands that pay better, but here's a trip down memory lane

Titan EyePlus
Chitraganda Sinha is probably one of those actresses who can make my knees go weak with just her pout.
My Rating: 8.5

TBZ Jewelry
Jewelry ads are frequently over the top, celebrity endorsements. You know you are in the South, when you begin to see more jewelry ads an hour in the local channels.
That said, there are some brands that have a semblence of a storyboard. Of the many, I've liked TBZ advts the most, so here goes..

My Rating: 7.5


The Yatra.com 'Ehsaan Mat Lo, Discount Lo' TV ad is easily one of the funniest on TV nowadays. Much better than the Salman Khan ones that were on TV until now.
My Rating: 7.5

Samsung Galaxy Alpha
Okay, so there isn't a screenshot or a video for this ad online, but watching this ad for the first time, I thought it was for a luxury car.. or was it for a suit.. or is that a watch? But then towards the end I could swear it was for Engage Deo. Dammit! 

So it looks like we will do a car-chase, a boat-chase and finally end up in a mirror maze without breaking into a sweat or a thread out of place and rather snatch the phone away instead of kissing the thief that stole your phone. 

Is it just me or do you think we have a lot of ads that involve one of those Transporter style chases?
My Rating: 2.5

Raymond (Complete Man series)

So Raymond has made some really good advts over the years. Its always been warm and
shown a side of men that other ads rarely show. Many of their ads are silent except for the incredible background score. No dialogues spoken. Just an excellent example of 'action speaks louder than words'.

The Stay @ Home Dad series in October 2014 continues this tradition of making great short films.
My Rating: 8.5

Priyanka Chopra (Schmitten chocolates & Ranjiniganda paan masala)

Okay, this one is bordering on sheer absurdity. As if we hadn't enough of bullshit on screen, we now have Priyanka Chopra (who is one of the smartest actresses in Bollywood) endorsing products so atrocious that I am thinking.. maybe the money was good. Maybe she was bored. Maybe she was too stoned to notice.. Maybe she needs to fire her agent. 
Gosh! Piggy Chops. What were you thinking?
My Rating: 0.05

Ok, I think the geniuses with the over-flowing creative juices at the ad agency that Aditya Birla hired decided that they are going to do just about anything to 'grab' attention by its hairy balls. But then they figured the deo ads are already doing this. And that's when they decide to add a moral message to every ad. Nothing wrong with it. I think Sprite did it well and so did some other brands. But that is where they lost the plot and the farm. 
Starting with the 'Talk while you walk, 121, Honey Bunny, Solution for Over-population and now the 'Ullu Banaoing'.
Oh the humanity! Every single IDEA ad makes you want to chew your arm out, pluck your pubic hair and wish someone did the Takashi butt on you
My Rating: 0.25

Engage deo
**Drum rolls**
I definitely want to know what is the schit that the geniuses behind this ad drank the night before they thought of this advt. Atleast they could let us have some of it everytime we are forced to watch the weird couple do the tantric salsa on the escalator. Ironically, none of the other people seem to be bothered. Weird! Because India is that wonderful green patch of land where you will get stared at if you even intertwine your hands and look at eachother with love in public. 
But for those of you who think this is all about the creative juices spilling over, I have a theory - Maybe them geniuses were so stoned after a night out on the sweet stuff that, they mixed up the rushes for Kamasutra and Engage.. 
Whatever it is, I guess they have been really successful because we are still talking about it.
My Rating: 0.15

Mahindra Gusto 
Okay, so picture this: 
  1. You are a hot young thing with your boyfriend on an Indian beach.  
  2. You want to surf. Right!
  3. No waves! Yes, we are that cruel.
  4. In comes the boyfriend doing the Evil Knievel on his brand new Mahindra Gusto (which like every other bike on TV is so new that it doesn't even have or need a licence plate).
  5. Hot young thing gives the sly nod of approval.
  6. Boyfriend hooks the surfboard to the scooter and tows surfboard plus PYT.
  7. Focus zoom to the ample cleavage of the pretty young thing.
  8. The girl slides over the surfboard. Hops right back, does the slow Baywatch run wagging her finger to the naughty boyfriend.
  9. She decides to take the boyfriend for a ride.
  10. And they live (and surf) happily ever after.
So what am I ranting about here? 
Are we supposed to believe the Gusto is a 2-wheeler with 4 wheel drive capabilities? Or that we can use it to ride on beaches?  
Are we supposed to believe that we can do a perfect ramp jump with a 4 stroke-engined scooter?
My Rating: 0.25

Aam/Slice Mango drink (All Katrina Kaif advts)

Alright, so Katrina Kaif's movies are the same as her advts and we can't stop drooling over bimbos with questionable morals. 
Her Slice mango drink ads are lusty, the way she holds the bottle looks like she is having foreplay with the bottle and when that drop of mango juice lands exactly on her lips, it looks like she just had an orgasm.
So, whether it is for deodorants, soaps, shampoos or just plain old mango juice, every single ad will have her arching her back, biting her lips, moaning in pleasure and climaxing with painful (and lusty) joy. 
Why Katrina, Why? 
My Rating: 0.25

Vaginal whitening cream
I can't understand why women would need to whiten their hoo-hoo's. As if our other-worldly obsession with fair skin isn't disturbing enough, now our businessmen think our women need their privates whitened too. Why? Are we going to bring out a shade card for that too? 
If the concept wasn't weird enough, the ad is even more disturbing. 
My Rating: 0.15

Vaseline Healthy White Complete 10
So suddenly, our society is filled with skinny South-East Asian women who are rating their own skin on a scale of 1 - 10. Talk about being self-obsessed!
My Rating: 0.05

Thumbs Up 
Can someone please explain this to me - Why do we have to jump out of planes, helicopters and under random modes of transportation when we want to drink a bottle of Thumbs Up?
Is it because it is so difficult to find one crappy bottle of fizzy without engaging in death-defying stunts? Oh, but this is all creative visualization, right?!
My Rating: 0.35

This ad is single-handedly responsible for making me feel embarrassed everytime I eat Diary Milk. Clever and sustained marketing has taught us to eat these milky gooey chocolates with all our fingers, smear it all over our luscious lips and other random spots of our face and if you haven't been doing it this way - Shame on you!
My Rating: 0.50

Myntra 'Live for Likes'
Gee! I didn't know we weren't already living for likes. Brownie points for holding a mirror upto our faces.
My Rating: 6

What the fcuk is this advt all about? This ad sits firmly in the 'shock and awful' category where I simply didn't get the concept or the humor in it. 
My Rating: 0.15

Airtel 'Smartphone Network' 
Okay, so the ad does begin with promise and the scenario is pretty endearing and realistic. 
Airtel even manages to show how you can be connected when you are going through a tunnel. The lady reaches home, rustles up an elaborate meal and this could be the point where the artistic guys packed up for the day and went home. Which husband saves his wife's number as 'Wife'?! Ofcourse, you can always say that the creators didn't want us to realise they were married to eachother until the very last, but I think they could have instead had to 'husband' address the 'wife' as 'maam' in the beginning instead of calling her by her name. That way, the viewers wouldn't have guessed it was his wife (Priya) calling on his phone. 
That said, I've always found Airtel and Vodafone ads to be much much better than Idea. \
My Rating: 7

Garnier White 
Why is Priyanka Chopra (a dusky lady herself) and a 'role model' for millions of girls in and out of India endorse products like this? If the fact that the advt itself isn't a poor job in creative visualization, then the concept of fairness surely is.

Vaseline Healthy White Complete 10
Okay, now of all the stupid 'fairness' ads out there, this one takes the clapboard and the chair. I can't understand why we would have to see a bunch of South East Asian women rate their 'skin score' in what looks like a terrible lip-sync job. WOW!

Rating: 1/10

TataSky DTH Service... I simply love their ads. Ahhh. I love their Aamir Khan ads better.

Rating: 8.5/10

Garnier. Gosh! I simply love the way the 'Didi' rolls her eyes!!
Really cute.
Prosecution rests its defense.

Rating: 6.5/10

Bingo Chips.
I loved most of their ads better than their chips. The chips suck.
I don't understand why a manufacturer would want to make such an elaborate ad for something as bland as their chips?
Moolah rolling in..

Rating: 6/10

Argh!! Another one of Aishwarya's ads. I simply can't stand her. She needs to retire. Will someone please tell her that she needs to stop 'acting' or endorsing dumb products? Abhishek, please 'shek' some sense into her.

Rating: 3/10

Another Garnier ad.
I simply love the color scheme they've used. Very smart!!
But I'll 'take care'

Rating: 6/10

Almost all their ads profess to be the missing link between you and that Irresistable guy that you think you are.
Yeah Right!!
But I still enjoy their ads to the hilt. Complete Package!!

Rating: 7.5/10

Is it interesting, what all you can sell, if you have a pretty face?
Thats it, I am ordering for a pretty face in my next life.

Rating: 6/10

Its amazing.. how silly is this ad, but this is pretty much what goes on in the minds of most women and men when they are not ogling

Rating: 4/10

I love Dove ads because the models that hire are really good looking. Or maybe its all photoshop and the Dove Experiment

Rating: 7/10

We see a PYT trying real hard to avoid the sun! Couldn't she just wear longer (fuller) clothes?

Rating: 5.5/10

I love the storyline of this ad!!
Straight out LOL

Rating: 9/10

I simply love her endorsements.
She might be an ugly duckling in real life, but her face exudes a charm on TV. Sigh..

Rating: 5/10

Some facewash that will remove all your skins.. Err Dead skins. Ewww

Rating: 4/10

Oh Yeah!! Piggy Chops and she is scintillating, of course.

Rating: 5/10

Clinic All Clear
PYTs doing the Big screen test to see dandruff. ARGH!!! Too bad, Bips couldn't do the fairness cream advts.

Rating: 4/10

Garnier again..
This time is the Oil + Shampoo thing and like more Garnier ads, I think they have excellent model coordinators.
I like the attitude that they portray in all of them

Rating: 7/10

Appy Fizz
I love the humor in them...

Rating: 8/10


Tata Sky
I love the hand puppet.. very endearing and it looks cute too!
And ofcourse Tata Sky always had such incredible ads too.

Rating: 7/10

The King of Automobiles.. well, almost.

Rating: 7/10

Bhima Jewels

Rating: 2/10

Yum and Fun

Rating: 5/10

Incredible India

Rating: 8/10

Almost all their ads are a delight to the mind and the heart.

Rating: 8/10

Perfume.. Almost reminds me of a particular scene in Zorro.
So cliched..

Rating: 2/10

Amul Butter
The Ads are exquisite and just a delight to the eyes.

Rating: 10/10

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