Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Good job, folks! [292/365]

Rapists have been really busy in the past week.
On the heels of news of an alleged gang-rape, comes another incident of a gang of men who barged into the house of women who worked as bar-girls in Bangalore. As if the piling mounts of garbage was not raising stink enough, we are now getting the monikor of the Rape capital of the South.

Now, normally I would be outraged that women are still getting raped but I reserve my comments here. I hate to be the party-popper but when I was dating, we never ever went anywhere I thought was remotely unsafe for my girlfriend.
The guy in this case had only met the girl a few weeks earlier and they were already going on 'jolly rides'? WOW!
And what were they doing in a deserted area that is a designated forest at that time of the night? Not picking daisies, I hope.
What kind of a boyfriend would leave his girl in the hands of their abductors alone?
The girl had barely any physical wound on her body. Remarkable because- the spot where she says she was raped had broken glass pieces and thorns strewn all over. No trace of semen or sexual injury on her privates. So either the girl had an incredible resilient body that was puncture/injury proof or she was raped while she was suspended in the air by bunch of men who wore condoms and 'did it' gently. Ripley's Believe it or Not!
The victim also reported that her attackers returned all the loot that her boyfriend handed over, helped her climb over a 7 ft wall, and also gave her some auto fare (Rs10?!) to reach her hostel.
I know what you're thinking. What kinda disrepute are they trying to bring to rapists? This is going to set an unhealthy precedent to rapists everywhere. 

So while I was still pondering on the repercussion this incident could have on our society, I read another ghastly article in the news.
Mothers pushing their daughters to prostitution is not new. We've had such shining examples in this blog already, but this was positively ghastly.
I know parents who won't let their daughters step out after 6pm because they fear she won't be able to fend off rapes. But these daughters grow up to become mothers who won't know how to equip their children with the tools to defend themselves in an age when women are expected to be as progressive as men. The parents don't expect their sons to turn into sexual predators so it's okay to be out late night, party and have girl friends. 

While I won't call myself a women's rights activist, I find it amusing that men feel threatened by a confident woman. But weak women have made rapes a wonderful way to settle scores. In the NLSUI student's allegation of gang-rape, there is a strong possibility that the woman just wanted to get the men in trouble and not the other way round.
Pascal, our favorite Frenchman was let out on bail after his wife's change-a-day testimonies and inconclusive medical reports exohonarated him. But I recall how the media pounced on the news as soon as it broke out. The wife was portrayed as the model for all mothers everywhere. While we still don't know the truth of what really happened at the home that day, we do know that Pascal never raped the child. So then, who did it?

In India, you are held guilty the moment you are accused. We won't let the justice system work because we are the judge, the jury and the executioner.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Man Down [134/365]

Spot 'the man' in this picture
Man has always been the provider, the hunter and the gatherer.
He gets out before dawn in search of food, and comes home so that his wife and children can eat. He is the strength of his wife, the sole breadwinner of the family and the role model for his offspring.
This was how it used to be when men started living as a family, probably in prehistoric caves and huts.

Thousands of years later, Men have evolved.
Men are no longer the sole breadwinner of a family. He is no longer the hardworking of the two, and is definitely not the best role model for his children.
Across India, there is a sight that is getting increasingly common. Drunken men sprawled on footpaths, in drains, by the sides of roads and every place they can possibly fall onto. But not all of them fall into a stupor on their way home. Nearly every passer-by will see the man down, but not one will come to move him to safety or better still, help him home. But some actually want to make it home by themselves and stagger dangerously into the path of oncoming vehicles. I've once encountered a man who was so drunk that he could not even open his eyes, staggering into the path of trucks and vehicles on a National highway. I stopped to help him get off the road but he would not have it. I finally had to use force and make him lie down by the side of the road away from danger. After more than a minute of struggling to get up, he passed out. That would have not been the last time he staggered. 

What makes a man so addicted to the bottle that he drinks so much and passes out?

A former friend of mine was a very active social drinker. He started when he was still a teen and could handle copious amounts of booze. I could barely handle a glass of wine but he could easily down several bottles of vodkas. I've never understood what made men addicted to alcohol but it could be because the booze made you sound smoother, more slicker, funnier and the life of the party. 
I've never liked the smell or the hangover. But that does not mean I never drank. The last time I drank was 7 years ago, on New Year's eve. I remember I had the mother of all headaches (aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell) the next day. That day I promised myself I would not drink and I think that is one promise I've kept since.

Every night, as we pass by minor by-lanes and roads adjoining bars, we see men sprawled out with a leg sticking out perilously onto the road, or with their heads falling off the pavement as if ready to be guillotined, in positions and places that he would otherwise be embarrassed of, two things come to my mind.
  1. That's one less husband and father who'll be home for his Wife and kids.
  2. That's one more wife who will worry where her husband is tonight.
But then, this is not something that strikes only the poor and disadvantaged, but the rich and famous too. Come New Year's eve, you'll see men and women sprawled across dance floors and bathrooms just as well too.

Is this evolution?

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