Showing posts with label IPL 5. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IPL 5. Show all posts

Thursday, May 31, 2012

May'ed out [151/365]

Ah, so May is always a special month for me.
As a preschooler, I remember how I'd sit with my 'Kwality Street' chocolate box every morning until my birthday.

While the world celebrated the first anni, I have this distinct feeling that Osama didn't get his 99 virgins when he was gunned down and given off as fish feed. I hear his plane crashed into the tall towers of Hades.

FB fell flat. Period.

Didi in the news again. This time she wants a interest-free loan and her choice for Prez. I'm beginning to believe Didi actually wakes up every morning and plans ways to screw her allies.
Is there not going to be an end to this?
What the hell are the 'intellectuals' doing?

Raja ban gaya free man.
Our politicians for want of real non-issues squabbled over a bunch of satirical cartoons that were drawn half a century ago.

Aamir Khan debuts on the small screen with Satyamay Jayathe. The nation sits up and takes notice. Master stroke!

The Supreme Court orders a ban on sun films on all four-wheeler vehicles across India. Difficult to understand why the apex court in the country had to make such a decision which makes very little sense.

IPL and SRK. Nuff said.

All in all, this was an exciting month and one that won't be forgotten in a hurry.

Friday, May 18, 2012

The Indian Feud League [138/365]

Source: The Internet
I enjoy watching the WWE. Or rather I used to. The feuds between the Face and the Heel eventually tired me.
The actual fights were far and few in between.

The Indian Premier League is cricket's WWE.
SRK has been in the news for all the wrong reasons this season. Sometime ago, I wondered (aloud) why we let SRK even get away with all the tantrums he throws.
He kicked up a storm by smoking in a stadium during a match. I mean, c'mon. In full glorious view of a billion people, I begin to think if he even realizes that he is a role-model. If not to the millions who worship him, to his children. In the West, smoking in public is such a giveaway to how prehistoric your mind is. I know of several westerners who would be so careful as to not light up even when they are in India.

Besides, some pointers on etiquette, someone's also gotta remind the show-Monkey that IPL is about Cricket and not the fight league.
Roughing up security guards, while serving the choicest 'gallies' will be something that SRK will be (in)famous for a long time. Which got me thinking:
So SRK got really pissed off when a bunch of lowly guards stopped him from sheparding a bunch of gigly teenagers into a restricted zone. I wonder why he didn't rough up the US Customs Agents when they stopped him. Twice. Couple of reasons I can think of.
This is India. He is the King of all he surveys here. He knows he can bully his way through anything he is arrogant enough to demand.
In America, he is just another Asian. If he so much as raises his pinky, he will be thrown out of the western seaboard faster than he can say 'My name is Khan'.

Suck on that, SRK.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Quirks of the day [110/365]

Headlining in the papers today;
And a day later, we are still basking under the glory of Agni 5. No shit.
South Korea tests missiles. In your face, Kim Jr
Mumbai gets its arteries back in action. (Interesting post!)
The Right to Education (RTE) becomes the best news that came out of India in a while.
Gansta chick Simran Sood (pictured) is convicted for her involvement in the murder of a upcoming Bollywood director. Atta girl.
The CBI continues it's raids on officials involved in the Tatra kickback. Sigh!
The cops have no clue who killed young Bangalorean, Monika Srivastava. Deja vu.
Datsun set to enter the Indian car market. Yay!
Across the Atlantic, the big O and Romney are set to give us a recap of 09.
Norwegian nutjob, Breivik testifies that he wanted to behead the exPM.
Chinese sportsmen/women stop eating meat, fearing they will accidentally ingest banned substances. Gee, that gives more meaning to the term 'Chinese food'.
IPL. 'nuff said.
The world prepares to race in restless Bahrain.  
Peace out!

Monday, April 09, 2012

Dude, what's with the cheerleaders [99/365]

What could've been
Cheerleaders are not Indian.
So is Subway, McD's and Plasma LED's.

But when Lalit Modi got PYTs in STDs (Short Tight Dresses, to the uninitiated) to gyrate infront of millions of cricket crazy viewers, we sat up and smiled. The kinky bastard managed to bring glamor into an otherwise dreary game.

For Shiv Sena and like scum in desperate need of some news, the sight of so much skin (outside a Bollywood movie) was scandalous. Their minions were ready with the cricket bats (ironically) and stones. Chaos.
Yet we tolerated all that because cricket without the peppy girls in their tweens was boring. We had to have them.

Fast forward to IPL 2012.
It looks like the cheerleaders have lost their mojo. Aging goras in atrocious attire and  unpracticed moves will embarrass even the most puritan viewer.
I could start with the disaster called Team Kolkata. Better known as Kolkata Knight Riders.
If loosing games were not enough, now their cheerleaders are dressed so badly, that you'd want to drown yourself in whatever they are drinking. This is the first time I've seen cheerleaders wearing traditional attire gyrating themselves.

Talking about traditional attire, what is it with the cheerleaders at Pune Warriors? I can almost hear Rakhi Sawant gasp 'O my Jejus'.
And don't even get me started on the girls in Deccan Chargers and Rajasthan Royals. My eight year old niece can dance better than all of them combined.

What the hell were the costume designers if any drinking the night before they decided on these outfits?
Where's the moral brigade when you need one? Can't they see how the goras are destroying Indian culture?

But if you haven't scratched your eyes off already, it's time you asked 'Dude, where is my shot?'
What it turned out to be

Saturday, March 24, 2012

The Flu [83/365]

So it's time for the Indian Premier League (IPL) again.
Into it's fifth edition, this is cricket packaged in tetra packs ready for instant gratification.
It's easy to see how IPL has become a conglomerate in itself. There is serious money involved.

Started in 2008, by Lalit Modi after a spat with the all-mighty BCCI, today it is hard to imagine what money hungry cricketers and corporations with deep pockets and money to burn would have done with IPL.

Starting from the 4th April, India and her cricket crazy lunatics will live, breathe and procreate nothing but cricket for the next two months.

Is the IPL with its motley bunch of cheerleaders, multi-million dollar deals and players across the borders really helping the game? No one really remembers the ICL anymore since IPL was never about the game anyway.

Is all this cricket good for our over paid, under-performing cricketers? Doubtful.
While MSD will reiterate, as in all the previous years, that the IPL is all about the fun and fatigue is not a question here, I would wait to see the number of fit players catching up injuries and the unfit players who stayed away from the tournaments so far hurrying back to play the IPL. Maybe, we should tell Dhoni to give us newer and more innovative statements instead of playing the same card every year.

But I really don't have anything against cricketers harvesting the rich field while the sun still shines. After all, not all of them will refuse to retire from Cricket the way god is. Which brings me to an interesting point.
Playing an honest game of cricket for the glory of the country was never his objective. He was just trying to heap up the accolades all along. ahuh! How I hate it when I am right.

With the kind of manic cricket that Indians play, I'd be surprised if we have any of the current crop of demi-gods remain as fit as they need to be. All those dives and plunges will ultimately take its toll. With the level of competitiveness that we play our game (pun intended) our cricketers really need to hurry. That way, the IPL does make a lot of sense.

But call me old fashioned, I still believe the IPL makes bad business sense. Considering how each of the player makes about $3 mil each year and the reality of how each of the corporates have not even broken even, it could be only a matter of when and not if the model will tank. But then again, some of the bigger corporates in the game are really not in the game to break even or even make a profit, but only to launder their money.

The IPL is nothing but a heady concoction of obscene amounts of money.
But all of this will be forgotten and rehashed in about 12 months because India is about to have her most exquisite orgasm.

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