Showing posts with label Incest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Incest. Show all posts

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Social Slaves [102/365]

Social networking is a double edged sword.
Millions have found their long lost school and college buddies, found their first (and second) loves online and basically done everything that they would've never done in reality.

Now, I have nothing against facebook and orkut. Truth be told, I've had the most incredible relationships with some people that I've not met until now. All online. My longest online penpal is a decade old and we have never even seen each other. We've seen each other graduate, marry and start a career in the ten years that we've met.

But a recent article online caught my eye.
I had this terrible sense of gloom reading through the article. This could be only the tip of the iceberg.
Our new guest blogger for 'Hold the Thought, Get the Point', Alka Narula points out the shocking instance of incest and rape within family.
Ofcourse, considering how tight knit families are in India, elders would normally not take the victim's word when abuse happens. As a victim of abuse myself, I know of the many challenges and consequences that such an abuse will have as the victim grows up.

Click here to read Alka's post on Incest

GuestSpeak: Truth or Dare

Well this is my first guest post and I was thrilled when I was invited to be a guest blogger for 'Hold the thought, Get the point'.
I feel honored to write a post for such a notable blogger, though it took me awhile to think of a topic to write about and it struck me while watching Sach ka Saamna
One particular episode shocked me to the extent, that there was no way I wouldn't have written about it and discussed the subject with fellow bloggers.

So here goes:
photo credit: A passion to understand

She smiled through out the show while nodding her head in affirmative to all the answers except three ,Yes this was an episode of Sach ka Saamna, a reality show in which contestants are asked a few questions about their lives to which they have to answer in Yes or No and the answers are checked via a polygraph test also known as a lie detector test.
1: Were you ever molested by your father?
'Yes, but he couldn't do it', she added to rescue him from embarrassment .
He was sitting right across along with his wife, son and son-in law. The father through out the show talked about society and morals, who did not accept this girl and her husband for having eloped and getting married, a father who after so many years does not realise that what he sees as his daughter now is a personality developed by his own faults, surprisingly the mother accepted that the girl had discussed the issue with her but was kept under cover. Such mothers certainly deserve salutation. The daughter also confessed that she could never forgive her mother for not doing enough, nor she could ever forgive her for addressing her as a "prostitute" when she eloped with her lover, who is her husband now.

2: Were you ever molested by your brother?
Before she could answer the question, buzzer goes off and guess who pressed it, her own brother.
So, the question went unanswered but neither mother nor her father turned to look at their son. The rule is that if the friends/relatives of the contestant present at the show dont want to hear the answer to a particular question they can press the buzzer,this can be done only once in the entire show.

3: Have you forgiven your husband for having betrayed you? 
Yes. The answer is wrong!

Such is the state of our society. I will not say that it happens in every household but is quite common.
Why don't we talk about some law to punish such offenders? I had often heard of such cases but it was the first time I saw a victim of incest who despite having been hurt had the courage to smile and carry the burden within.
I must say it gave me shivers, but I was quite happy for her for having won a prize money of Rs 10,00,000. The best thing that could have happened to her in the show was that her husband who looked quite offended through out, hugged his wife and said 'We were paired in heaven and I am very proud of my wife'.
A happy ending but an eye opener for any one who must have watched the show but unfortunately forgotten by now.

The crux of the story, we all cry rape but there are several other social evils that plague our society and incest is one of them. Unlike a rape victim, a victim of incest suffers silently at the hands of a family member and it may continue for years . The most painful part in most of such cases, the victim is unable to disclose it to any one and even if she does the matter never gets reported to police . A punishable crime which will continue to flourish untill some awareness is brought about among girls to open up their mouth like a rape victim does.

Written for 'Hold the Thought, Get the Point' by our guest blogger Alka Narula.
Find more information about her at Indiblogger

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

When innocence becomes the Prey..

Picture this gruesome scene;
A beautiful young girl not older than 10 years, is lured by candy and free ice cream, by a 'nice uncle' so that he can have sex with her.
Having gone through a similar experience I can tell you that she would be confused at what is happening, bewildered at the way the nice uncle is removing her clothes without asking her and shocked at the physical and emotional pain of the act. No matter how long or what really happened after that, that young girl or boy is scarred for life.

He or she will harbor unreasonable fear of intimacy in relationships and would most probably pass the fear and phobia to their children..
All it took for the years of trauma was that one person in the child's life who took advantage of innocence.

Our newspapers are filled with daily instances of rapists.
They feign 'chest pain' after they 'surrender'.
Now, if you ask me, they need to feel the pain of the my swift kick right below the belt. Human rights and gull shit, I would have wanted him put behind bars and castrated in the most medieval ways. But thanks to how things run in India, where even News channels run on TRPs, where which Actress got slapped by which director gets more media coverage than real issues of the society, where news is sensationalized by corny montages of still images repeated in a loop, it is anybody's guess why an issue like this does not even get its 15 minutes of murmur.

As long as we have men and women living together in a society that chooses to sweep issues with sex under the carpet. Or possibly it is because incest and rape among family members is so common in the Indian society that a news like this would embarrass us and shame our own conduct.
I have known several friends whose relatives and friends who have raped or molested them, but the victims are too frightened to talk about it or against them, since their families would never believe them in the first place. My Mom didn't believe me when I told her that 'a man hurt me down and touched me down' and probably would never. The perpetrators will go Scott free living a completely guilt free life. Some of them get caught but a large majority will live the social high life.

Shakespeare once wrote 'The Child is the father of Man'

This saying resonates in so many levels with so much poignancy.
Rape and all kinds of sexual crime against children and women must be condemned more than other crimes. Capital punishment is so easy on the victims. Castration sounds like a good plan, but that's just my personal yet brutal opinion.

Why would an adult prey upon a child and rob him/her of their childhood memories?
How do we deter future predators from ruining innocence while still upholding human rights?

Deciding the quantum of punishments for rapists is a thin line, that must be thread carefully.
Making sure that our laws don't encourage future predators is as important as punishing that rapist now.
Setting an example that will deter and defuse the urge to commit the crime should be decided on case by case.

The judiciary must get beneath the skin of the predator and deliver judgments that will be exemplary and just while making sure they don't follow a template.
Most predators that I know, do the deed because they know for sure that they will get away with blue murder.
The legal system is so predictable that we breed corrupt politicians and smug offenders, and all the while, they know that they can live a charmed public life that is not tainted with shame.

Some Asian and Middle eastern countries follow the system of publicly caning the offender, castrating and a fairly long term jail term and statistics have proven that this has deterred future offenders while still making sure justice is served.

Everyone has a right to dignified living and the person who irreparably damages another life, forfeits his/her right to live a dignified life themselves.

But all said and done, the human race is perhaps the only species that loves voyeurism and enjoys playing the moral high horse while delivering punishment and pain.
There is really no 'cure' or remedy for sexual offenders.
Castrated dogs, in an experiment, continued to mate with bitches even if they didn't have a testes.
Castrating offenders does not mean they will never ever commit another offense, but a rather crude way of avenging than a effective means of deterrent.

In our collective conscience of whats right and what wrong, we often end up punishing innocent drug mules who get caught carrying ridiculously small amounts of a banned drug with death sentences while letting ruthless rapists go through a life sentence that in most countries are just 12 years!
What gets my goat is that we think drug trafficking is more heinous than raping a child or a woman!
A swift yet air tight judiciary that will execute its rapists in public is the only way we can deter and reduce the soaring number of rapes and sexual crimes in our country

But what ails our judiciary is the same reason why rapes are difficult to prove when we don't have documented evidence. Rapes are just one person's word against another, but what might work would be to sentence them to rigorous imprisonment for the rest of their natural life, unless proved otherwise.

We will forever debate the kind of punishment that rapists and sexual offenders deserve, because that is what we love doing the most: Playing God.

The prosecution rests its case...

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