Showing posts with label Lalit Modi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lalit Modi. Show all posts

Monday, April 09, 2012

Dude, what's with the cheerleaders [99/365]

What could've been
Cheerleaders are not Indian.
So is Subway, McD's and Plasma LED's.

But when Lalit Modi got PYTs in STDs (Short Tight Dresses, to the uninitiated) to gyrate infront of millions of cricket crazy viewers, we sat up and smiled. The kinky bastard managed to bring glamor into an otherwise dreary game.

For Shiv Sena and like scum in desperate need of some news, the sight of so much skin (outside a Bollywood movie) was scandalous. Their minions were ready with the cricket bats (ironically) and stones. Chaos.
Yet we tolerated all that because cricket without the peppy girls in their tweens was boring. We had to have them.

Fast forward to IPL 2012.
It looks like the cheerleaders have lost their mojo. Aging goras in atrocious attire and  unpracticed moves will embarrass even the most puritan viewer.
I could start with the disaster called Team Kolkata. Better known as Kolkata Knight Riders.
If loosing games were not enough, now their cheerleaders are dressed so badly, that you'd want to drown yourself in whatever they are drinking. This is the first time I've seen cheerleaders wearing traditional attire gyrating themselves.

Talking about traditional attire, what is it with the cheerleaders at Pune Warriors? I can almost hear Rakhi Sawant gasp 'O my Jejus'.
And don't even get me started on the girls in Deccan Chargers and Rajasthan Royals. My eight year old niece can dance better than all of them combined.

What the hell were the costume designers if any drinking the night before they decided on these outfits?
Where's the moral brigade when you need one? Can't they see how the goras are destroying Indian culture?

But if you haven't scratched your eyes off already, it's time you asked 'Dude, where is my shot?'
What it turned out to be



Thursday, October 28, 2010

My 15 minutes of fame/infamy/WTF

When I read the latest scandal/uproar that a quasi Celebrity, 'once' Booker prize winner and current tree Hugger: Ms Arundhati Roy proudly raised. My favorite pair of scissors went snip snip.
I love the Children of Controversies.
And India does not disappoint.

I stopped following her ages ago when she released a 10000 word essay on nuclear disarmament on Outlook.
I've always thought her 'God of Small Things' was like a Tata Safari: Over Rated, Over hyped! Thank God she didn't win a Nobel, or she would have nominated herself for the Presidency.
I guess she just makes it a point to wake up every morning, scan the news and does a google search for her name, to find out in how many ways she can ruffle feathers to be in the news while still being safe.
A friend of mine wondered why she was being charged with seduction?

I guess with Kashmir being as much a national past-time in India as Car chases are in the US of A, and with media not getting any more juicy stuff about CWG, it was time to move on.
Talking about the CWG, did India knock the socks off all our collective feet, huh?
It was pretty inspiring to watch Indian athletes compete in such diverse range of sports besides politics and cricket!

And oh which reminds me, Cricket's favorite Scapegoat and former Mascot; Lalit Modi must be muttering nasty nothings to himself. And to think it all began with a simple tweet.
Ahh, technology! Ignorance is bliss, my dear Modi.
Indians will forget this controversy as well, as they have successfully done for every other atrocity that grappled humanity.

The paradox of being an Indian is that even though you just one in a billion (quite literally), it is possible for you to get reams of news rolls. Its a brand that matters.
Any publicity is good publicity.

But what gets my goat is why make a mockery of our society?
3 frogs who got their 15 minutes of fame
Why do we have self appointed activists and leaders of our society holding us to ransom. Sure, Ms Roy might have to live in exile in some Western European country for the rest of her life, enjoying the royalties from her one book. Surely, she will talk fondly about India when she is there, while still enjoying all luxuries of life. Surely, she will live a life that will be much better than what she was 'fighting for' for her defendents.
This is good planning. I can almost see her doing a Salman Rushdie. A victim of her 'Patriotism'.

Perhaps the best way to treat these distractions would be to ignore them completely.
It worked for a former colleague of mine. A nasty fellow who would crack such tasteless jokes that even Rakhi Sawant would puke, all for the sake of some laughs. Ignored him. He quit.

Fed by constant controversies, our genes are conditioned to scandals, scams and corruption. Not to mention the almost involuntary drool when we hear about certain Bollywood actress and pornstars.
This year like any other year, has been a juicy good year with plenty of blockbusters already.


We've had every possible glitch except the terrorist variety so far.
Pakistan, are you listening? And no, exporting Sania does not count.
But wait, they are having all sorts of problems themselves. Funny that we don't have any terrorism when Pakistan is busy with its crippled self. Like a dog that is trying to rid itself of a flea does not bother to bite.

Wonder whats going to be the next big scandal of this year?

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