Showing posts with label Lance Armstrong. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lance Armstrong. Show all posts

Saturday, September 21, 2013

While you were gone: September 2013 [Part 2 of 3]

Sorry folks, no hyperlinks this time..

Better sense prevailed.

Obama spared all of us another war. Syria will spend $1 billion to dismantle its chemical weapons.
The courts punished the most famous rapists in the only way it knew - Death.
Rangarajan cut GDP forecasts.
Srini punished Sree in the swiftest way known to cricket - Life ban.

Our government cheated on 1024 promises it made. Nothing official about it, eh?
Modi: First denounced his desire to become the next prime minister, was later crowned the party's prime ministerial candidate. Advani gave in to popular demand (read Modi).
Former Olympian Rajyavardhan Rathore joined politics.
A 16 year old was abducted and gang-raped by cops in J&K and a 14 year old rape victim killed herself.

Well, I never said it was all good news.

If I've learned anything from all the wars we have ever fought, then it is how leaders of our nations have acted with unilateral hate. Sometimes, as self elected representatives of civilized countries that call themselves developed, they assume an air of pseudo importance and consider it their mortal purpose to save us from imagined sins. But in doing so, they only expose their own lack of morality.
I don't think the ordinary American worries about Assad crossing the red line of gassing his own constituents. The only line the West are crossing are the thin line of double standards in humanitarian intervention.
Ordinary Americans have far graver tragedies to deal with. They live a life of incredible unpredictability. They aren't sure if they will have a job tomorrow, will end up as unwitting victims of some raged gunman, or if they can hold on to their homes.
Indian-Americans will continue to fight racism. What surprises me is not how Nina Davuluri beat the competition, but how 'patriotic' Americans sit in their moral high horse and show the world how stupid they really are. So @Granvil_Colt, @jakeamick5, @jayres15, @NateBerard, @sarawhitton, @SHANN__Wow, @Blayne_MkltRain and the thousand others who couldn't believe a land of a billion plus could possibly produce another beauty queen fit to rule the world- Go f**k yourselves. Haven't you heard about the Muslimah World pageant?

Modi promised to put Pakistan in its place, if he is elected to power. I don't know how to react to this. This has doomsday written all over it.

Marissa Meyers fears being imprisoned if her company does not hand over their user's details, anytime it is 'requested'. As the head of a major search engine, this cannot be good news, can it?
For all you staunch Lance Armstrong fans, stay away from 'The Armstrong Lie', a documentary that promises to shred any tiny bit of the aura he's retained.

Voyager 1, the interplanetary probe has left the solar system.
We have been pretty busy too. Launching an ICBM and planning an unmanned probe to Mars. Why? Are we done screwing up earth already?

Paes and Radek brought (respective) home another Grand Slam championship. Three Cheers!
Closer home, communal violence ripped apart whatever semblance of secularism we portrayed.

Ranbaxy got banned, because they found human hair. Relax, we've found worse things in our food. Besides, all this just helps build immunity.

After fighting for what seemed like a millennium, Dell is going private. Finally!

That's all the time we have for the news, folks.
Go out and enjoy the world, while it's still bright and sunny.


Thursday, January 31, 2013

While I was away.... [January 2013]

After two fabulous months of hibernation, I finally managed to dust the cobwebs off my home laptop. Plenty has happened and much of it did hit the sweet spot on the fan.

For those who came in (late), here's a round-up of all that made news and was quietly and promptly swept under our over-priced fake Indian rug.

We indulged in our national pastime - Rape. Number of the bastards who were caught, castrated and chopped in mini sizes - Zilch!
But let that piece of bad news not deter the patriot in you. In consolation prizes, men were arrested and her story was (re)told for global consumption and facebook 'Likes'.
Some of them even got some unwelcome fame.
Some women were spared the agony of living in an apathetic society when their rapists did them a favor and killed them.
The deafening sounds of silence barely a month after Jyothi was 'brutally' raped suddenly reminded us of why India will always remain just another 'developing' country. When the time came the shameless bastards, some of who wanted to be hanged because of their guilt, now wanted a trial outside Delhi to prove their innocence. APPLAUSE!


Now, you may ask where is all the titillation for so much rape? Well, some of our Indian couples were glad to provide the source. While I haven't seen the video yet, I am sure that is the last time they are going to be excited about having sex! But then not all men wanted free sex from the street, some of them actually paid (serious) money to rape. Which got me wondering, couldn't he just have visited a sex worker instead?

While we didn't have much luck chopping our rapists, some women were (un)lucky enough to be served the benefit. I wonder if this will lead to our suitcase-wallahs loosing out on precious business!


Our neighbor snuck in, fired a few shots to test our defenses and left. Some with a little more baggage than we could tolerate. The usual rhetoric from Delhi, our netas flexed their biceps (or the lack of it) and The Sardar put in a word or two as well.
And talking about politicians talking with their over-sized feet in their paan-streaked mouth, we had the 'oldie in chuddi' RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat trying to put the bar back in Bharat. Bravo! Can we have him extradited to hmm... Mexico or something?
And joining him will be the Motormouth from the East - Ms Mamata B. She made investors dance to her tunes and then ate humblecrappie.

Locally, KissAsser er.. Kingfisher Airlines tried to spread its wings. So while Didi was making investors dance to her tunes, the only dance Mallya will be doing is the tightrope variety. With the large group of investors growing impatient, it is just a matter of months when Kingfisher will be a distant memory. Thank God I kept those sparkling Kingfisher-branded spoons and forks they used to serve inflight as souvenirs.
In other national news, Anna (Hazare) changed the name of his mo(ve)ment. Let's hope the change of name leads to change of fortunes too.

Onto our International news segment, O aimed his gun at the ... er gun lobby.
And that was that. While American politicians are not really that different from the politicians we breed here, this could be the start of something big in the distant future. Reeling as they have been with a spate of gun-related violence, Americans have suddenly realized that shooting is not as much fun as watching it on screen.

The world's biggest liar, Lance Armstrong apologized and finally confessed. And we got to watch Oprah tear apart the former cycling champion like a rag caught in a derailleur. In technicolor


Oprah laughed her way to the bank as her ratings soared and Lance wished he could dig a hole as massive as his lie and curl and die in it.

The world's biggest passenger jet was grounded when the smallest of its component malfunctioned and the suddenly the airline industry was left wondering if size did matter.

And if you were wondering what Lady Justice and our elected representatives are doing when they are not passing silly bans and pillaging our country, they are checking out the latest movies. Why they even managed to get Kamal Hassan lots of free publicity when they banned his movie Vishwaroopam. Eventually everyone got a little of what they wanted and he joined Oprah at the bank.

Phew! And that was just the first month!
Happy New Year to me!


Thursday, August 23, 2012

Enough is Enough [236/365]

Lance Armstrong. A name that will symbolize perseverance and endurance.
Today, that name will also symbolize a rot in our governance- Of making an example.
Source: wizbangblog.com

After fighting a decade long dope claims, he finally threw in the towel.
Critics will say this is a sign of acceptance of guilt. Supporters will mourn how one of the finest cyclist became the victim of witch-hunt. What this surely does mean is that Lance will be stripped of all his titles and be handed a lifetime ban on competitive cycling.

I've never seen Lance in action but having being a part of the cycling community for over five years, I can say how he is to cycling what Maria Sharapova is to tennis. When I read the news, I can say I could understand the toll it took and the reason behind his decision. I uttered a prayer for him in my heart and lauded him for the courage he had in taking such a decision. I also laughed at how you can always be the victim of witch-hunt no matter how good you are, where-ever you are.

Lance spoke of the trauma and the pain that his family and relatives had to go through because of the allegations. I can understand that.
He spoke of how the allegations were affecting his work amongst cancer patients and survivors. I can understand that too.

While his critics will now have say 'See, I told you so' at the way Lance gave up, I think this will be the first time he will truly sigh in relief.

So, does it matter whether he doped? Does it change the fact that he has and continue to inspire millions of cyclists and cancer survivors the world over? Does it in any way malign the incredible work his Foundation has done among cancer victims? Does it matter that he will be banned from cycling? I don't think so.

Playing the devil's advocate, even if we are to assume that the USADA was right and Lance did all the heinous things that they claim, prosecuting him will not deter future cheats. Or does it?


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