Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Monday, February 29, 2016

My Biggest Regret | Manna for your Soul

Let's see.

I regret not spending more time with my family growing up.
I regret having the fear of failing.
I regret not doing my engineering.
I regret not saying No to people/relationships when I should've I said it.
I regret not standing up for myself.
I regret believing people when they said I was no good.
I regret staying within my comfort zone for too long.
I regret not being a better friend to some people.
I regret not accepting myself for what I am, for too long.
'My Biggest Regrets' list is quite long..

As we strive to make our lives performance-based, we forget that quality and not quantity is what matters.
We rush to fill our days with travails and memories while living paycheck to paycheck, without ever stopping to realize the people in our lives are there not because of what we earn, but inspite it. 

Over the last couple of weeks, I've had an epiphany of sorts. 
Its difficult and socially unacceptable to talk about your regrets, insecurities and weaknesses. 
Many people I've spoken to told me they shared the same list of regrets in their lives too. 
Like me, I know people who have allowed a past relationship traumatize them for far too long. I know people who have not healed past their wounds of betrayal even after years of being apart. I know how it feels because I've allowed people to live on in my heart long after they exited. 

Almost everyone I know archived their regrets until it was too late to undo them.
My dad was one of them. 
He had dreams of traveling to Cyprus, Israel and other places with my mom after his retirement. 
He dreamt of fishing in the backwaters behind our home in Kerala.
He dreamt of having a dog and many more.
He achieved none of them. 
You might know someone who died with regrets in their hearts too. 

How would you feel if you were given a chance to 'Delete' and 'Restart'?
I know I want to. 

I want to say I'm Sorry to everyone I hurt and I want to forgive everyone who hurt me. I just don't want to continue to live with the realization that either of us are hurt. If we can start over, I'd love to.
I want to pursue my dreams and my goals, even when they look like a pipe-dream now.
I want to love the people who care enough to be with me even when I wasn't loving them enough.
I want to start all over again and live a life with people who love me and care for me and who I care about. 
I want to learn how to get out of my comfort zone and say what I need to say when I need to say it. 

Because the death bed will be too uncomfortable to undo everything. 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

The Colors of Life

Isn't falling in love such a wonderful feeling?
This world has such excellent examples of people falling head over heals in love. 

So what makes two people love eachother so intensely?
Can it be chemistry?
Can it be shared likes and dislikes?
Could it be both?

Whatever it is, Love isn't impatient.
Love can be that gentle tug without your heart when you talk or think about that person.

Love isn't selfish. Because you give all you can and expect little in return. 
Love isn't lust, because when you love that person, you could go an entire lifetime, without lusting. 
Love is that soothing tub of warm water when your body is freezing. 

No other emotion in history can be more powerful than to fall in love, desperately. 
While you are falling in love, you also wonder if you are going to get hurt when you hit the ground. True love can however make you land on the ground like a cat.

So is love a lost cause? 
I don't know.
But this I know. Love is that cognitive elixir that can make everyday life a whole lot easier to bear. 

Can we sell bottled love? 
Maybe never. 
Loving a person can be the most noblest and the most fulfilling act a human being can do.

Can we conjure love out of thin air?
Again, no.
Sometimes, you find it and you will live the rest of your lives, wondering why you didn't meet eachother earlier.
And then sometimes, you don't and you will live with a person who is incompatible and has nothing in common.
To find a person who can reciprocate the love you yearn for, is the single greatest goal humans have. 

So what is love?
Love makes you grin a little longer and blush pinker.
Love makes your walk a little more livelier.
Love is that feeling of security and trust.
Love makes you want to go that extra marathon for her.
Love makes everything around you so much better.
Love can shrink distances and let you hold eachother. 
Love can make your heart skip a beat when you are together yet apart.

Take love out of a person and the world will be a cruel place to exist but love can make life that much more colorful.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

I wish I ..

As we end another year of turmoil, sweat, tears, heartache, victory, sorrow and happiness, I invite you to think back into what is the most important thing in your life. It is not that promotion you got or the house you bought.

It is the small things in life. Family, Children, Time with your loved ones.
I invite you to read 'The Top Five Regrets of the Dying - A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing' by Bronnie Ware.

Read the author's experience and get to order the book online here.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

The Home Truths [295/365]

The past couple of months have been a spiritual experience. I have faced some of my most fearsome demons and come out unscathed.
Through much I've relearned some worldly truths, which I'll try to list here:

Fact: You'll always have atleast one bully in your life. It could be in your high school or in your workplace.
Truth: Tyrants and bullies never got ahead in life. Ever.

Fact: You'll always have another chance at life.
Truth: You'll need lots of patience to get that chance.

Fact: You'll always be alone at some point in your day.
Truth: You'll need to have the grace to accept your frailties when you are all alone.

Fact: No matter what anyone else tells you, you will need to make some important mistakes in your life.
Truth: Experience is good learning from bad mistakes.

Fact: Bad people get all the good stuff
Truth: Only true on earth.

Fact: Your ex always seem to be having a wonderful life after you.
Truth: Only the foot knows where the shoe pinch

Fact: Don't judge a book by its covers.
Truth: Always True!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Greed is Good [43/365]

Recently, an Insurance agent was trying to peddle one of his company's latest Life Insurance policy. The terms of the policy stated that I would need to pay half of my pay for a minimum of three years for a million dollar payout at the end of ten years. Naturally, the prospect of getting a million dollars meant that I could actually retire in a decade.
However, I asked him the all pertinent question - What if I die tomorrow? Like the seasoned salesman that he was, he convinced me that my nominee (my girlfriend) would get the million dollars. What if she died too? Now, he was stumped, since he couldn't say my yet to be born children were going to get the million dollars.

In Luke 12:13-21, Jesus tells us of how we save, anticipate and plan for a future that we don't have any control over. We can't even predict if we will survive tonight.
The poignancy of the scripture makes us sit up and think about what really is important in our lives - God.
While God never propagates that we live in poverty and while he has encouraged us to use our talent and wisdom to create wealth, what he does abhor is that we neither bring shame to Him by our miserliness or by gluttony. He expects us to the smart yet rich person who is not afraid of letting go of what can be lost to rust and ruin, for that indestructible wealth in heaven. Not that we will want any of the wealth when we reach heaven, but living our lives the way Jesus did should be our guidelines.

In simpler words, a JD for a place in heaven is asking for a person who is 'forgiving, loving, tolerating, being patient, understanding and wise'.  
Have we got it in us?

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Locked in [16/365]

The right to live.
The right to speak your mind.
The right to express yourself freely.

Ever since the dawn of civilization, nations and their citizens have fought and defended these fundamental rights.
While many of us are fortunate to practice these rights at freewill, I read about a Briton who wants the right to die. (Read article)

Suffering from the debilitating 'Locked-in syndrome' after a paralytic stroke seven years ago, he now wants to die. (Read more about Locked-in syndrome here)
While I won't advocate euthanasia (assisted suicide) as an escape from life or illness, I can understand how an illness as debilitating as this would take a toll on both the sufferer and their care-givers.

Death is an escape. And given the times that we live in, quite a welcome break too.
But I like to think that you cannot use death as a bail out package in times of illness, state of poverty, choice of lifestyle or your actions.
When I read the article on Tony Nicklinson, while I could begin to identify how trapped he might be feeling, when he described his life as 'dull, miserable, demeaning, undignified and intolerable.', I beg to differ. Hundreds of miles away in Afghanistan, Syria and closer home in India, we have millions whose life can fit into that description.
Death is not an option to them. Life is that endless toil and persecution until the 'break'.

I'm reminded of the many people around us who experiences different kinds of the 'Locked-in syndrome'.
For some of us, circumstances may have isolated us from others. Lying in a hospital bed, serving time in prison (for a just cause), or being shut in emotionally, can make us feel that we are experiencing our own 'Locked-in syndrome'. When people begin to use circumstances as a crutch, we must remember how we are the authors of our destiny.

Stephen Hawking, needs no introduction. Afflicted by Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), he once famously described himself as 'lucky'. While he was just being modest, he went on to receive 15 awards across a career spanning three decades.

Besides the path-breaking discoveries in Astrophysics, I think the most important and often the most difficult decision is when a person who is down and out, decides to make the best of it. I'm reminded of how Jesus, fully God yet stuck in a man's body, struggled against the mighty Roman empire... (Read 2 Timothy 2:1-10).

When adversity has often brought out the most remarkable survivalist streaks in humans, I can't see how we should throw in the towel when we hit a minor setback.

While I stop short of making a verdict on the right to die, the right to live and the freedom to pray certainly wins.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Finally. something worth embedding!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


Saw this in the most unlikely places... (in the Loo)
Thought this was an interesting thought to remember..


People are often unreasonable,
illogical and self-centered; forgive them anyway

If you are kind, people may accuse you
of selfish ulterior motives; be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends
and some true enemies; succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
be honest and frank anyway

What you spend years building
someone may destroy overnight; build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
others maybe jealous; be happy anyway

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
its all between you and God;
it was never between you and them anyway.

Monday, April 05, 2010

When memories come rushing by..

Recently I read an article which confirmed my worst suspicions.
'Words do hurt'

The article in question apparently quotes a scientific study that probably spent hundreds and thousands of dollars to prove how certain words do make our brains to react in a certain way. Duh!

Do you ever wonder why scientists are researchers are always proving the most mundane fact of life?
Who sanctions all the funds for these studies? What is the point? Are we any bit the more wiser or saner?
Does this study mean we will be happier and shield ourselves from all the painful words/places/memories?
Neither did I.

We have all gone through a lot of hurt. We are human, after all.
Which one among us would not have been in a hurtful relationship.
I have been in relationships where I have been both the victim and the villain.

Come to think of it, I have been in committed relationships for the past 6 years with women who have given a lot of love in their own unique ways. But with a lot of love, comes the scope of a lot of hurt.

Wounded hearts. Contrary to popular wisdom, time does not heal your wound but just keeps you in a drug induced pain-free state of mind. Lot of people choose not to look at their wounds and like how you inevitably bump just that wound when you least expect it, there comes that word, thought or act that rips open the wound.
You could have been wounded by offensive things that other people say or do to hurt us, by our own sinful behavior or by a calamity that overwhelming.

A wound to our heart never heals with time.
I've had fits of depression and I know lots of people who have struggled with physical, mental and spiritual symptoms of inner wounds.
Often the first response is to back away from the situation to allow time for healing. They often turn inward and brood over their hurt. The hurt gradually grows to be a festering sore just waiting for that unfortunate word, act or memory and out comes all the anger, bitterness, hate, revenge and fear. The rejection that they then receive brings more hurt. This is a vicious cycle.
Yet other people respond by balancing hurt with anger and revenge or by trying to protect themselves from further hurt to allow time for healing. As much as it seems, this never leads to true healing. As they enter into relationship, the wound hardens their heart and we receive more hurt.

True healing begins with God in your heart and your lives.

Throughout the Scriptures, in both the Old and the New Testament, we see our Lord's intense love for us.
God cares about your broken heart, wants to heal it and is waiting for us to let Him do the healing.
Jesus suffered the most excruciating death on the cross because it was His desire to heal us of the wound that the first human brought to Earth.
However, we must allow Him control, because He cannot change what He does not control.
Fair deal, I say.

The process starts by making a list of your hurts, starting with the greatest first.
Ask God to cleanse your heart of all anger, bitterness, lust, revenge, hate and inability to forgive.
Picture the experience in your mind and then picture Jesus suffering the same hurt and sin for you at the Cross.
His resurrection meant forgiveness and mercy for your sins.

Just as surely that the Lord can heal your wounded heart, He can also give you a tender heart that will be sensitive to the hurts of others.
He who is Omnipotent can change that which was meant for evil into good.

I had my Damascus road experience roughly two years ago.
God started healing me the moment, I asked Him to take control of my life.
When we have the reins of our life in our hands, we are capricious. There are some of us have learnt how to surrender ourselves to God, some others to the world and then some others a convenient combination of the two. However, what we forget is that we can never serve 2 masters, while being loyal to both. There will be a time when you will need to choose between the two.

Luke 4:18-19 says:
"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
      because he has anointed me
      to preach good news to the poor.
   He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
      and recovery of sight for the blind,
   to release the oppressed,
    to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."

Lets all be messengers of the Good News.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Blame Game

The Bible is treasure trove of stories, morals and good News. Of the thousands of stories in the Bible, my favorite story is that of Adam and Eve.
Genesis 3: 9-19 takes us to the critical moments before being thrown out of the Garden of Eden.
We see Adam and Eve hiding, out of fear and suddenly conscious that they are naked.
God, during one of His strolls in the Garden, call out for Adam, His favorite creation.
In the sequence of events, we witness God in a state of shock that His creation has disobeyed Him. God asks: "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?" instead of accusing Adam, gives him a chance to explain himself and perhaps take responsibility for his actions.
Adam, blames his act on Eve, who in turn places the blame squarely on the serpent.
Inspite of being told by God not to eat out of the Tree, they did.
Instead of taking onus for their actions, they pass the blame along. 

Nice Try!

What God did afterward changed the course of history.
The man and the wife was banished from the Garden, which is a metaphor of all things good and virtuous.
The serpent gets to eat dust. Forever.

In the 21st Century, amidst tough times and rough living, if there is one thing we need to stop doing, it is stop the blame game. We need to resist the temptation to say "I just don't feel convicted about it" and "It is not really my gift"

With all the How to's and etiquette training that we have, it is surprising to see how people don't know how to take a blame and apologise graciously.
We find it easier to blurt out "It's not my fault" rather than give a sincere heart rendered apology.

We need to learn to accept criticism gracefully. Though, it is unreasonable to expect to be God-like, we know that we are His creations. A Creator who made His creations in His own image. He gave us the right to make decisions, even if they are completely against Him.
A God who gave us 'Free Will'.
And what do we do? We divide and rule. We split humans based on color, caste, creed, sex, wealth, and social status.
We must learn to stand up for our actions; good or bad.

When will we realise that we are all eligible to be His Family?
There was a sermon that I once heard.
Christians, are often told they are the Children of God. A statement of divine proportions. However, what we never realise is that, there is a disclaimer. We must earn the right to be called His Children.
As parents, would you call a random child on the street your child? Exactly.
You will need to do His Will. Obey Him, Love Him. Don't tempt sin.

God gave His creations Free Will for a reason.
So that we have enough time to stop whining, be responsible and do the right thing.

If this weren't so, nearly all of us would have been 'recalled' by The Manufacturer.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...