Showing posts with label Mother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mother. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Good job, folks! [292/365]

Rapists have been really busy in the past week.
On the heels of news of an alleged gang-rape, comes another incident of a gang of men who barged into the house of women who worked as bar-girls in Bangalore. As if the piling mounts of garbage was not raising stink enough, we are now getting the monikor of the Rape capital of the South.

Now, normally I would be outraged that women are still getting raped but I reserve my comments here. I hate to be the party-popper but when I was dating, we never ever went anywhere I thought was remotely unsafe for my girlfriend.
The guy in this case had only met the girl a few weeks earlier and they were already going on 'jolly rides'? WOW!
And what were they doing in a deserted area that is a designated forest at that time of the night? Not picking daisies, I hope.
What kind of a boyfriend would leave his girl in the hands of their abductors alone?
The girl had barely any physical wound on her body. Remarkable because- the spot where she says she was raped had broken glass pieces and thorns strewn all over. No trace of semen or sexual injury on her privates. So either the girl had an incredible resilient body that was puncture/injury proof or she was raped while she was suspended in the air by bunch of men who wore condoms and 'did it' gently. Ripley's Believe it or Not!
The victim also reported that her attackers returned all the loot that her boyfriend handed over, helped her climb over a 7 ft wall, and also gave her some auto fare (Rs10?!) to reach her hostel.
I know what you're thinking. What kinda disrepute are they trying to bring to rapists? This is going to set an unhealthy precedent to rapists everywhere. 


So while I was still pondering on the repercussion this incident could have on our society, I read another ghastly article in the news.
Mothers pushing their daughters to prostitution is not new. We've had such shining examples in this blog already, but this was positively ghastly.
I know parents who won't let their daughters step out after 6pm because they fear she won't be able to fend off rapes. But these daughters grow up to become mothers who won't know how to equip their children with the tools to defend themselves in an age when women are expected to be as progressive as men. The parents don't expect their sons to turn into sexual predators so it's okay to be out late night, party and have girl friends. 


While I won't call myself a women's rights activist, I find it amusing that men feel threatened by a confident woman. But weak women have made rapes a wonderful way to settle scores. In the NLSUI student's allegation of gang-rape, there is a strong possibility that the woman just wanted to get the men in trouble and not the other way round.
Pascal, our favorite Frenchman was let out on bail after his wife's change-a-day testimonies and inconclusive medical reports exohonarated him. But I recall how the media pounced on the news as soon as it broke out. The wife was portrayed as the model for all mothers everywhere. While we still don't know the truth of what really happened at the home that day, we do know that Pascal never raped the child. So then, who did it?

In India, you are held guilty the moment you are accused. We won't let the justice system work because we are the judge, the jury and the executioner.


Saturday, April 28, 2012

GuestSpeak: What’s in a name?

source: world wide web
Have you ever wondered why in most of the applications you fill, you are never asked for your mother’s name? Or if you are asked it is always after that of your father’s? Has it ever occurred to you why is it that children all around the world use their father’s surname? Have you? Well if you have not then do give it a thought!

It’s a mother who carries a child within her for nine months before bringing him or her to this beautiful world of ours. She is the one who invests a lot throughout her life to give her baby a wonderful and happy existence. When I say this I do not in any way mean that a father’s role is not vital. What I feel is if bearing the father’s name and mentioning it in every application is warranted then why not state the mother’s name too. She has played a role which is if not more than atleast equal in importance to that of the father.

Shakespeare famously wrote ‘What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet’. While that is true but you cannot deny that a person is always first introduced by his name to his friends and acquaintances. When we meet a person for the first time; we do not ask what his hobby is or where he lives first. We ask what his name is to start with. So yes ‘name’ is indeed very important. So if the parents have equal share in raising a child then the child’s identity should most definitely be associated to both too.

A woman when married is expected to change her surname to that of her husband’s. Eventually when the couple has children then it is the husband’s surname that is carried forward. This to me is unfair and definitely not to my liking. What I feel is that the children should carry the last names of both their parents or have no last name at all. And I feel it is justified as the role and significance of either parents can’t be ignored.

The rules or dogmas of the society where the identity of a person is very closely intertwined with the father were made centuries ago. The same tradition is being followed till date. But I think the time to shake things up a little is now.

I am not sure how many have heard of the Khasi’s of Meghalaya. They have a tradition of using the mother’s last name for the children. I for one think it is very progressive as atleast the woman who invests her whole life in nurturing her children gets some social recognition for being the mother.

They say a mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie, and if she can forgo all her desires or wishes at some point in time for us then I think it’s high time the society puts her at the same pedestal with the father and if that begins with the surname or a space in the application forms then so be it!
 
Written for 'Hold the Thought, Get the Point' by our guest blogger Nabanita Dhar.
Find out more information about Nabanita and her blogs here


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