Showing posts with label Narendra Modi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Narendra Modi. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Stick No Posters

Let me be the first to call it - This is a modern tragedy of biblical proportions.

No, we aren't talking about the Coronavirus. I feel we are all talking about the virus a little too much while being distracted about the real pandemic in our lives - Corporate greed and Political apathy.

A year ago, as governments scrambled to contain the virus and contain us without our homes or in the case of India, throw millions of migrants out of their urban homes, we didn't flinch. 

If you haven't realized it, this is a Global War. Countries around the world have lost lakhs of citizens. If this were an armed conflict, people would have been outraged. We would have been on the streets campaigning and baying for the blood of our governments for their apathy. We would not have rested until the system changed. 

If this was a Hollywood movie, the American protagonist would have rolled out the big guns and then some to bring democracy and world peace. If this was a Bollywood movie, Salman Khan would have beaten the virus so badly the virus will need a vaccine. And he would have done all this while prancing around an actress 40 years younger. 

But what did we end up doing? 

We made tik-tok challenges and memes. 

We started having sports events with no spectators. 

We started making masks fashion statements.

And the enterprising amongst us made a yacht full of money. A few made their billions staking their millions on the coronavirus. As pharma, cryptocurrency, and IT stocks continue to make people rich, there is very little doubt there is money to be made out of misery, as long as you play your cards right.

When the dust began to settle down, our politicians did what mattered to them - Consolidate power.

A year ago, our PM shut down the country in the only way he knew - Primetime television with just 4 hours' notice. What ensued was a crisis the PM is still in denial about. 

Today, when we are losing 10000s of people a day, you'd think we've learned our lesson.

The short answer is - No.

The long answer is - We are so effing tired of the way our politicians have been governing us for the last many years. To be fair, it's been a very long time since any of our politicians had to deal with such shit. Barring Indira Gandhi, no other politician has had the cajones to handle a crisis like this. So Modi brought this upon himself. He never realized he could get effed over by nature. Or complacence, or even arrogance. 

We are so tired of the way our government doesn't make decisions based on science, facts, and rationality but instead based on how they perceive their ratings or a chance to remain in power will be. As politicians play roulette with our hope, we have lost the patience to listen. We don't want to clap our hands, turn off the lights, or clang vessels anymore. We don't want catchphrases, hashtags, and your bearded portraits in every government advertisement. 

We want our old normal back. We want our loved ones alive. We want you to vaccinate us, all of us soon.

We don't want to be discriminated against because of who we worship. We hated it when you targeted the few hundreds who attended the Tablighi Jamaat last year. It was a manhunt of epic proportions. The islamophobic amongst us refused to accept food when it was delivered by a Muslim man. We hate it when you allowed the Kumbh Mela to happen. We hate it that this led to 10000s of people getting infected and dying. We hate it that you restricted Muslims from celebrating iftaar during Ramzaan but had no qualms allowing 1000s on the Amarnath Yatra. 

We hated it when Manmohan Singh would speak so less. We hate it when you don't speak to us except when you need us. We hate it that you allowed rallies by the 1000s even when the second wave was well in. We hate that you'll probably not remember this tragedy and allow this to repeat in a few months.

We hate it that you are riled by posters (and people) that are critical of your governance. We hate it that you can't take criticism - even when it is entirely justified.

We hate it that you had several months to rebuild what was necessary and important but instead chose to sit back and do nothing. We hate it that you promised us and gloated to the world about how we are the Pharmacy to the world. We hate it that you didn't think of buying enough vaccines for all of us even as you launched the World's Largest Vaccination Drive. Sure, everyone loves a good hashtag. But not accounting for or even ordering for the number of vaccines makes it look like you didn't think this all the way through. I mean what kind of miracle did you think would happen when you innoculate just 3% of your country's population (as of 18th May 2021)? 

Come to think of it, our current administration is like an underachieving hormonal teenager. They love to dream big and fantasize about the mystical. Filled with untapped potential, they love to plan. But that's all they do. Once the fanfare and the applause die, and when they think about the hard work that lies ahead, they abandon ship to move on to the next big thing. Repeat cycle. But there is a glimmer of hope - if there is one thing that gets them to their knees, it is election time. Like a sex-craved teenager that can't think of anything else but satiating his own lust, politicians from our current administration will hug you, kiss you, court you, and make sweet sweet love to you. The rape begins once they've been voted to power. They will pit you against your neighbor and the neighbor's dog. All this to satiate their lust for unimaginable wealth that comes with power. Whoever thinks India is poor surely doesn't have a clue about the unaccounted wealth of our politicians and their sugar daddies. 

But that doesn't mean the opposition is any better. They just had it lucky. 

We hate it that we have to keep wondering about our government's strategy to govern. Motormouth politicians that live in denial want to say things are under control and that we can finally get to business. But we know that's not going to happen anytime soon. We are to blame too and we hate that too. We are too weak to get out to the streets and fight for a change and the easiest thing to do is to look the other way and continue mumbling under our breaths while living whatever subsistence of a life we can afford.       

We hate it that billions of dollars worth of aid and equipment from around the world lie at airports and seaports around the country just because our government banned foreign aid - in the middle of the pandemic last year. Surely, news of this apathy won't reach the ears and eyes of the millions of people and dozens of governments that donated generously to the Pharmacy of the World. We hate that you played vaccine diplomacy by shipping millions of vaccines to other countries while not ensuring we had enough for ourselves.
It's basic math, Mr. PM - 1.2 billion people need 2.4 billion vaccines. 

Today, as many countries in the West have figured out their strategy to fight, we are still floundering, badly. Our PM is MIA while we are dealing with a crisis of governance or the lack of it. 

As I read and hear about our government's reactive strategy that appears to mutate faster than the virus, I am sure there must be a Shakesperean play about this, or maybe we need to create one. Personally, I think the folktale of the Emperor's new clothes is the closest that fits. 

As our government stumbles from one grave milestone to another, my only hope is that months or years from now, we'll remember this - as the monumental fuckup that it is and hold the people accountable for this and make them pay. Not by jail terms. That's too mild. But by throwing them out of power and keeping them there. 

Tuesday, May 11, 2021

What about his silence!

What is that they say about silence? Silence is golden, right?

Probably, the reason our Honourable Prime Minister is silent. 
While people die outside of his privileged sanctum of calm and health, Mr. Modi is conspicuously silent. 

He probably doesn't have much to say. 
Or maybe he does, but he doesn't need to say it. 
Or maybe he does need to say but doesn't know how to say it. 
Or maybe he knows how to say it but doesn't know why he needs to say it now. 

The dead aren't helpful to him anymore anyway. 
The seriously ill will never live long enough to vote and is thus not helpful to him either.

The ones living in fear of getting sucked into the vortex of government apathy and corporate greed will forget in time for the next elections. One biriyani and liquor combo lunch with Rs 500/- will guarantee their votes.
The rich will flee to their cocooned fortresses and ride out the crest. 
The poor will rather die asphyxiated than of starvation.
This leaves 4% of taxpayers (aka the middle class) to bear the brunt. Like rats in a sinking ship, we scurry from hospitals to oxygen-filing centers in search of life. 
The dead will cremate themselves or be thrown into the Ganges.

Like sheep in a fold surrounded by ravenous wolves and vultures, we will continue to live in fear that jumps a notch every time we hear of another sheep who succumbed. 
The intellectual amongst will analyze the reason why the fellow sheep died. Maybe that sheep was careless. Two days later, all is forgotten until the next casualty. 
Repeat cycle of fear and paranoia.

As our reputation of having mediocre standards of excellence, our standards of governance lack as well. 
We can't elect the right leaders, and we can't hold them to account.

We love fiction. We love being the victim. Many of us still wear the colonial hangover like a thong of pride. Recently, a friend forwarded a message that pinned the coronavirus's blame on China and how they have weaponized the virus to 'take India down.' Really?! Anyone, just anyone, who's been to China will testify that China on its worse day is still a decade ahead of India in infrastructure and progress.
Too often, when people are in trouble, they look for scapegoats.

What the US lacks in credibility, they make up in brute force media-power. 
A recent article that said the US already knew of China's intention to weaponize the virus back in 2015 proved our conspiracy theories true.
If they knew about this ahead of time, it is a crime beyond belief that they didn't take the proper steps before millions of their own died a needless and completely avoidable tragedy. 
But then the US has a reputation of constructing 'evidence' when they want to prove their allegations. Case in point - Colin Powel and the Bush administration alleged Iraq had WMDs just to invade the country and stake claims on their oil fields and a consumer of their weapons industry. We all know how that went. The WMDs were just a smokescreen. 

Want of foresight, unwillingness to act when action would be simple and effective, lack of clear thinking, confusion of counsel until the emergency comes, until self-preservation strikes its jarring going, these are the features that constitute the endless repetition of history. 

The policies of our administration appear reactive instead of responsive. Our federal government can't figure out what needs to be done first and what needs to be done timely. Resigned to this fact, our country is now in the middle of what appears to be federal stubbornness and State confusion. The truth of the adage 'Better sooner than later' is lost on our administrator.

When the Prime Minister and his administration should have augmented our healthcare infrastructure, they sat on the sidelines watching other countries manage their second wave and did nothing. But it's not because we had nothing to do. Modi and his gang were busy fighting for elections in the 3 crucial States. They boasted of massive rallies as masses of their supporters (paid or otherwise) congregated - throwing all semblance of social distancing, often without masks. 
The Election Commission and the rest of India watched aghast. The EC because there is precious little they can do anymore. The people because they can't do anything but to survive and hope they aren't going to die in a few months.

When our Prime Minister and his administration should be building confidence and access to vaccination, they played the desi card - by prematurely announcing Covaxin. Even when we had the time to create an infrastructure to vaccinate and ensure our nation had enough supplies, we did nothing. We simply sat with our arms folded. I blame our government for its misguided priorities. 
It is the neglect of timely repair that makes rebuilding necessary. 

At a time when our country is in the news across the world for the fuck-fisted way our government is handling the pandemic and beating records of the dead, our administration is busy building its new parliament. Surely, development should not stop, and the government has a plan in place for the Central Vista project. Indeed, this is nothing but a pissing contest to prove we have a better house. But how can you raise a toast and pretend it's business as usual when there is a crisis in your own backyard. How can a government that couldn't afford to buy enough vaccines for its own citizens spend $6 billion to build a newer, swankier place for our esteemed and privileged class of citizens to live and work? If only the government spent more money to buy the vaccines, we could have ensured every resident would be inoculated twice at just $ 13 million. Alas, priorities!
Governments have a tendency not to solve problems, only to rearrange them. 

When our country is being ravaged by a virus, we are yet to hear Modi's Mann ki Baat. As the broad-chested leader of men, our bearded first citizen needs to talk to us. He needs to speak to each of us - tell us what he plans to do and how he'll do it and how soon he plans on doing it. 
The last time we heard him speak was at campaign rallies where he predicted electoral success. He appears to talk to us only when he wants us. Only when he wants us to vote for him and his party. 
Our prime minister appears to go into a maun vrat every time the country is in trouble. Like a petulant teenager giving his parents the silent treatment, he talks only through his administration—every minister echoing his flavor of governance with no apparent sense of direction or purpose. 
Blaming is so much easier than taking responsibility because if you take responsibility, then you might be to blame. 

What needs to be done quickly and first The present state of affairs as it stands is that of an economy nose-diving under the wake of a virus that our government neither understands nor is willing to tackle proactively. Our administration has resorted to 'what-aboutism' to camouflage its failure. As hundreds of myths and half-truths about the virus and infections circulate, our government appears to not want to do anything about the misinformation. Say something against the government, and you'll be taken down - swiftly.
It is wrong and immoral to seek to escape the consequences of one's acts.

When funeral pyres and crematoriums are working round the clock across the country, our official statistics say we are only losing 3000 people a day. If you're one of those millions who believe this number, you haven't visited your local crematorium yet. Not surprising because our government isn't wet behind the ears when it comes to fudging the truth and cooking books. Giving the actual numbers will alarm the world. Who really wants to do that?!
Everything was perfectly healthy and normal here in Denial Town.

As infections will begin to plateau in States, as the virus runs out of steam as it always does, our government will put its feet up and take a power nap and wake up just before they crank up their polls plans to win Uttar Pradesh in eight months. 

Chances are, we all know someone we have lost to Corona. Remember, this was an entirely avoidable loss. Undoubtedly, experts predicted we'd have another wave last year. Remember, we had the time to prepare, innoculate, and brace for impact. We didn't. 
Undoubtedly, the government can't be expected to do everything. But that's the reason why we elect them - so that they can counsel the brightest minds, best strategists, and policy-makers and guide us with wisdom born out of foresight.
Every ship in calm waters has an excellent captain.

Chances are, you may survive this wave. How about the next wave and one after that?
You may be one of the millions who is cocooned inside your cozy home, fans and aircon on, Netflixing and chilling, making babies, and creating tik-toks. 
You may be stocked up on ready-to-eat mixes, condoms, sanitary pads, and batteries for now.
Until the tragedy strikes closer to your heart, you'll feel lucky that you can work from home and not bother about the thousands of people dying.  

So until the second wave crashes out, our prime minister is going to give his vocal cords a well-deserved rest, nourish and prune his flawless flowing beard, and prepare his strategy to retain the last of the big States in Jan 2022. 

But when our Health Minister declares 'India is better prepared to beat Covid 19 compared to 2020', I just wish I had whatever the heck he is sniffing.

Thursday, February 27, 2020

When we fear...

They say age is just a number.
As I get to the big four O, I both agree and disagree.
I don't feel forty but I'm not as fearless as I was. 

It's all in the mind they say. But is the mind weary or are you willing to celebrate the glass half full?

The decade that just passed has been tumultuous. As someone who follows politics, regional and otherwise, I've been getting sicker.

Modi with his unique brand of statesmanship has done a fair enough sleight of hand tricks to retain the voting majority. 

We have morphed into a nation where freedom of speech has become a precious nonrenewable resource.
Like slow-cooked frogs, we neither have the muscle to rise up nor the money to keep our fight focused. 
As politicians openly campaign for violence against those who don't share their political enthusiasm, I lament.

I've stayed quiet for the better part of the past decade fearing frivolous lawsuits and death threats from people who don't believe in the basic tenets that made up our great country. 

Politicians will beat their chests with fervent patriotism and claim India has never invaded another country in history, but why invade when we can implode from within. 

To be fair, I like Modi's style of brute force statesmanship. 
I like how he is the hugging saint of politicians. 
I like how he has got people talking about India. 
I like how he can rally his troops just by using words. 
I like how he has the political will to get what he wants.
I like how he has the political majority to do what he wills.
I like how he is fiercely loyal to Gujarat.
I like how he is conscious of his image, political and otherwise.
I admire the Chanakya in him. 

But that's about it.

I don't like how he has dismantled our society, which was delicately held together by common complaints and joys of daily living. 
I don't like how he destroys his political opponents.

But that's not all...

I intensely hate how he can allow people to die. Yes, I have a strange sense of deja vu knowing how Modi feasted with Trump when barely a few km away, the city was burning. 
I am aghast at how he could allow people to kill each other and be silent about it. 
I am appalled at how he could allow politicians within his party to openly call for genocide and not flinch. 
I am surprised we haven't removed politicians who feed us with hate, while we arrest citizens who call them out.
Image result for delhi violence
As the country burns in pockets and patches of violence, our Premier is busy getting ready to win the next election, preparing for the next luncheon meeting with a foreign leader, or trying to schmooze another billionaire.

As Modi grooms his successor and India looks like it is doomed unless we rise in a way we haven't in 70 years, I am overcome with a sense of dread. 

The silver lining in the cloud is - Modi isn't the worst. We've got Shah coming in next. 
We've got golden girl Pragya Thakur.
We've got stud muffin Yogi Adityanath.
Can India survive the onslaught?

The irony in closing:
I am amused Modi had to build a wall to cover up slums from the sacrosanct gaze of the Don. After all, we were always told tall tales of his Gujarat model of progress. 

Well, atleast Don got his wall.

And I step into 40 with a sense of pending doom. With the way things are going, I may soon become the religious minority that our PM is trying to prosecute shield. 

“Where the mind is without fear
and the head is held high,
where knowledge is free.
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls.
Where words come out from the depth of truth,
where tireless striving stretches its arms toward perfection.
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost it's way
into the dreary desert sand of dead habit.
Where the mind is led forward by thee
into ever-widening thought and action.
In to that heaven of freedom, my father,

Saturday, April 20, 2019


The last 5 years swept by pretty fast. 
It feels fresh. It seems like I wrote about Modi just a few days ago. 

It seems like it was just yesterday we couldn't tolerate a PM who wouldn't speak and wouldn't be able to act decisively. We lamented about his puppet master and the scams of the Grand Old Party.

We just wanted to get him out. 
We thought it was the worst thing to happen to an economist. 
And we thought we had enough of scams and we deserved better.

And then we voted

We kicked out the Congress and brought in the butchers. er.. the BJP. The Hand gave way to the Lotus. Green turned Saffron. 

We cheered. Well, albeit cautiously. We weren't used to politicians who spoke with such gusto. 
Modi swept the quasi-literate off their feet by sheer technological brilliance and digital blitzkrieg. 

I personally know of bloggers who were offered close to 1 lakh per month (tax-free) to write up to 4 favorable posts a month about the BJP. 
I know bloggers who refused and then I know many who took the cash. I won't name them here for obvious reasons, but the lure of easy money was hard to resist. 

BJP mastered the art of PR and paid the Piper. 

Congress retreated to lick their wounds and for a while, it looked like the Saffron wave was all-powerful when it won one State after another across the country.

As Modi became the flavor of the nation, countries that avoided him like the Bubonic plague began to roll out of the red carpet and set the fine china. After a decade of seeing countries treat us and our PM with disdain, we were chuffed when we saw packed stadiums and world leaders fete our real First Citizen.
We couldn't thump our chest hard enough. Any prouder, and we would have wanted to adopt Modi as our son. 
We finally thought we got the leader we deserve. We finally thought we were the greatest nation on earth (Sorry Uncle Sam).

Sure, Modi is an amazing orator. By that token, every toastmaster should be a great politician. But not.
Sure, he did turn Gujarat around and we all wished, hoped and believed he would turn us around as well.
And like a diligent salesman going door-to-door, Modi spent a good number of his first year at office traveling, begging, cajoling, hugging, and fist-pumping for support. Mostly, he was still celebrating his party's 'hard-won' victory and rubbing salt into Congress's wounds. When he wasn't traveling on his on-site assignments, he was on 'Poll-mode' because his party was still fighting elections across the country and he was their star performer and pack leader. 

His penchant for erasing Congress would lead him to rename pan-Indian projects and schemes, repackaging welfare programmes, and clandestine dissemination of misinformation against his opposition. 

His campaign promised a lot. Not entirely his fault because like resumes, we've come to believe that manifestos are loaded with exaggerations, false claims, and dubious promises. Repeating them here again would be blasphemous and entirely inappropriate and unpalatable for my readers. 

Cut to the present.

Our economy is barely breathing.
More millionaires have fled our country in the last 5 years than any other country in the world.
We have millions of semi-literate graduates unemployed. 
Our farmers are distressed. And don't even get me started on our manufacturing sector.
Our Rupee has been sliding.
Every governmental institution has been rendered untenable.
Every citizen who dares utter anything against Modi or the BJP will be called 'Anti-national'.
Religious intolerance is all-pervasive.
And amidst all of this, our country has been split down in the middle. 

Yet, 'Bhakts' (the common botanical name given to Modi-maniacs) think Modi is the best and can't do anything wrong. 
They proudly ask and answer the question: "Has there been a single scam?"
Right after they answer this, they suddenly become expert political analysts who will tell you, in technicolor detail, about all the scams the Congress engineered. 
True. The Congress did loot and plunder for a very long time. But then, who elected them to power the second, the third, and the fourth time? Why didn't you challenge and change the government then?
Why didn't you revolt then?
Because you were too comfortable in your cushy lives.

Starting from when they won the General Elections in 2014, they antagonized the opposition so much that it was embarrassing to hear Modi thump his chest and proclaim victory. Fine Modi, we get it you won. Now get working for us. 
It is now apparent that the single-handed act of demonetization and unscientific implementation of GST shrunk the economy. I challenge Bhakts to prove me otherwise. What Modi did was the financial equivalent of an emergency. 

And scams?
Sure, how about the Rafale deal?
While there is no doubt that Rafale is a better aircraft for our skies, there is much more to the deal than meets the eye, and the desperation of our government to malign people who'd merely ask for more transparency is suspect. If I'd done no crime, I'd have nothing to hide and no need to malign anyone who accuses me of the crime. The truth will triumph. As we hear more of how the PMO circumvent protocol and intervened in the deal, Modi has realized we have cornered him and desperately wants to divert our uncomfortable gaze off him.
He and his cronies have polarized our society and allowed Hindus and Muslims to kill each other. Radicalized Hindus have found protection behind powerful Hindu politicians. Muslims have been left to defend themselves. 
The corrupt have been allowed to get more powerful under his rule. 
And terror? For someone who talks tough on terror, Modi didn't flinch when his party fielded the Malegaon blast accused Sadhvi Pragya (among other equally colorful convicts) in the current elections. 

Modi has perfected the art of etching the right memories into our minds. Like a trained parrot, he knows what he needs to repeat so that fiction becomes fact. After all, a lie often repeated becomes reality. 
Modi has conveniently glossed over unemployment statistics. 
His government has fudged inflation reports, among other reports about shrinking GDP. 
Modi has forgotten how he had promised to bring back black money from Swiss banks. The irony is not lost on how he has not only failed to bring back ill-gotten money but how billionaires have fled with more of our money.
Obviously, Modi can't remember OROP anymore, because nothing has really happened on that front.
Surely, Modi won't remember too many of his campaign promises because, hey, when you have been traveling and fighting elections non-stop for the last 5 years, you aren't going to remember every lie you've told, right?

Modi is, like most politicians, a very eloquent and accomplished Pakistan-basher. If you haven't heard of the term 'surgical strikes' before Modi made it a catch-phrase, I wouldn't blame you. He made it fashionable to taunt Pakistan. Something that only the BCCI did every 4 years.
Since the second airstrike, Modi has been doing the rounds trumpeting and proclaiming how he nipped terrorism in the bud. How 'his sena' has taught Pakistan a lesson. 
Can I ask you something, Mr. PM?
How is it that an ordinary citizen living in a 'proclaimed' war zone acquire the amount of RDX that killed 40 soldiers in Pulwama? Are you telling us that our Intelligence Agencies failed to flag such a purchase? Do you not know the suicide bomber was a radicalized Kashmiri and not a Pakistani? Do you know what that Kashmiri's family went through in the months and years until the bombing? Do you not know there are thousands of Kashmiri youngsters that our high-handed policies have systematically radicalized? If we really wanted to resolve the problem with Kashmir, we could in a matter of years. Starting with defining the International Border, we must begin to treat Kashmiris with the respect they deserve. But no. War-mongering is good business. Keeping us in a perennial state of fear makes great political sense.
Surely, none of our politicians will send their sons and daughters to the armed forces. Modi, like most politicians, have perfected the art of arm-chair activism and puppetry.

Modi, you are the elected representative of our democracy, but you aren't everyone's choice. In fact, you aren't even our first choice. You were but the lesser of the demons. The best amongst the worst. Unfortunately, you still are the lesser of the evil. 
But trumpeting yourself to be the voice of a billion people isn't fitting the stature of a true statesman.  By calling the armed forces 'yours' and belittling their sacrifices and taking credit for their prowess, you show the world how phony you are. How trivial you are!
By trashing your political opponents, and by claiming how insignificant your lapses and misses are compared to theirs, you are fooling no one but yourself.

Well, dear Bhakts,
Here are some facts for you:

  • India under 5 years of Modi has lost more jobs than in the past 30 years. Worse still, your Modi has scrambled to hide statistics that show this fact.
  • Demonetization and GST did nothing to curb black money. Instead, it helped the corrupt launder billions.
  • Universal Health Insurance is still a pipe dream. 
  • Farm Crisis. Enough said.
  • Aadhaar. Once the favorite pinata (when the BJP were on the other side of the fence), BJP not only expanded it but created unnecessary intrusions into privacy. 
  • Make In India. Again, a pipe dream.
  • The RBI and the CBI. Handmaidens of the [insert name of the ruling party here].
  • Lokpal, anyone?
  • Financial markets have been on a free fall for over 2 years now and billions in wealth have been wiped off. 
I could talk about unsustainable Mudra loans, poorly built free housing for the poor, (expensive) subsidized cylinders for the poor, artificially inflated fuel prices (even when global oil prices are at their lowest), countless cesses, non-existent electoral reforms, banking reforms (that gave away money for poor policies) etc. but you get the drift, right?

I've spoken to countless 'Bhakts', of all age groups and sizes, and realized one thing - They love to thump their chest and proclaim 'Namo Again'. However, not one of them can stand to debate based on unbiased facts and figures. They take refuge at how Congress looted our country. Yes, they satisfy themselves with the firm yet lop-sided belief that whatever happened in the last 5 years was way better than whatever happened for 40 years. A crime is a crime.

Our democracy! 
We are now having to choose between the devil and the deep blue sea. 
Many cherish the memory of Manmohan Singh. Those were simpler times. When our sons and daughters had a job, and our communities were truly cohesive and loved to co-exist. 
With the variety of politicians forming alliances to defeat BJP this year, in 10 years from now, we will remember Modi kindly as well. 

Most importantly, Modi has revealed the chink in our armor. 
He has revealed the blueprint to manipulate large sections of the country. 
His party has used the most basal instincts of fear, hatred, and ethnic divisibility to divide and rule us. 
Today, Modi and his bunch of cronies have shown how they want to win at any cost. They've tasted blood and boy, they love it!
Today, as Modi does the rounds dissing other politicians and selectively talking about how little India has gained, I want to remind him this - India isn't you, Modi. India has grown despite everything you have done to us.

The BJP realizes this - if they lose this round, they are going to be banished. Modi has created powerful enemies who are a lot more ruthless and less polished than him. 

So as we settle down and decide - 'Should I vote or not, because whether I vote or not, it won't matter, things don't appear to change.' 
Let me tell you this - There are people who didn't vote the last time and they thought it wouldn't get worse. But it did. And unless you've lived under a rock, it would have affected you adversely. 
So, please vote. Because we have the responsibility of saving whatever is left of India. 
But if you still believe you don't want to vote, I won't force you. Because in 10 years, when your lives have become truly miserable by the people you didn't vote for, then you will revolt. 

Because unless we put the fear of God in our politicians, what's happening in Paris and Spain will happen in India. The people will rise. 

Should we really wait until then?

Monday, November 21, 2016

Our National Sport

India is a land of oddities and we may not have a national language, but we do have a national sport. So the last couple of weeks and months have been filled with people complaining about everything.

The 'Demonetization' has ruffled all our feathers. We have been extremely vocal with our praises and vitriol. 
The head of our government, our PM has told us this was to curb 'black money' and money laundering. Sure, both had to be done. 
When he announced this, he spoke with the bravado of a weightlifter who just broke the world record. Overnight, over 80% of all currency that circulated in the economy were
worth less than the paper they were printed on. 

He also said about the measures that his government put in place, which were ;

  • Older currencies could be exchanged for the new currencies in banks, ATMS (and now nationalized fuel stations when you swipe your debit/credit card) until December 30th and at RBI branches until March 31st, 2017.
  • Utility bills & fuel stations could still be paid with the older currencies.
  • Bank employees would work on weekends to ensure people could exchange their notes faster.

While these measures appeared sufficient, making an announcement like this made our Prime Minister a sitting duck for target practice. 
The truth is:

  • ATMs were not calibrated or stocked with enough of the currencies. 
  • Banks ran out of their currency stockpiles midway through the queues and when people did get their new notes, they couldn't use it anywhere because no one had enough small change. Banks haven't released the new ₹1000 and ₹500 notes and there isn't enough ₹100 notes in the economy. 
  • ATMs at malls and other locations remained ill-equipped to handle the deluge.
  • Hundreds of privately -owned fuel stations (like Shell and Reliance) stopped accepting the denotified currencies.
  • Hospitals and other places refused to accept (and thereby rejected treatment) patients who couldn't exchange their money in time. 
  • Dozens of people have died in completely avoidable circumstances. 

Modi wanted to make this appear like Operation Neptune Spear. His fans spoke eloquently about how no one else knew of this move. The only glitch here is, people knew. Far too many people knew. 

In a country where only about 50% of the population have bank accounts or access to internet banking and barely a few weeks after most of the country's banks suffered its most widespread hack happened, this move was poorly timed.  

  • Surely, Modi announced this only because he knew 6 Indian States were going to the polls and how politicians would bankroll their constituencies during campaigns. 
  • Surely, Modi hoped that we would understand how he did this only with all the goodness of a tender mother to correct the wayward ways of her children. Surely, Modi didn't anticipate the surge of vitriol he would face.
  • Surely, Modi thought we would hail him as a hero who had the balls to do something like this.
  • Surely, Modi is going to demonetize the new (shoddily designed) ₹2000 note, in an attempt to catch those hoarding/laundering black money. 
  • Surely, private citizens and businesses that own fuel stations and utility companies are laughing their way to the bank with the amount of business that is coming their way.
  • Surely, Modi is going to get all those real-estate deals you did to launder your money invalidated too. 
  • Surely, Modi has more tricks up his sleeve. 

But, as days rolled on, his confidence waned.  A barrage of less than expected applause has cornered our PM and the shell has been revealed. The man who once described what he did as brave resorted to behaving like a threatened schoolyard bully. He began to talk about how enemies are trying to kill him. He might have won the war, but this will forever be the start of his slide. 

As ingenious as we are, we adapted and found other convenient loopholes to launder money. 

I am no fan of the PM. I've never been one and probably never will. But I am not in the other camp either. I would rather trust facts and instincts than PR. Hence, I have a few questions to ask. 

Dear Mr PM, 
Thank you for working for us. 
You can keep telling yourself how the common man is happy, but you need to wake up and see the snaking lines at ATMs and banks.
If you had planned this operation months ago, like you claim...
  • Why didn't you release more of the lower denominations into the economy in the months before?
  • Why does the new ₹2000 note have the signature of Urjit Patel (who was only appointed in September 2016)? Conspiracy theorists will have a field day with this.
  • Why haven't you released the ₹1000 and ₹500 notes yet?
  • Did you honestly believe black-marketers would park their ill-gotten gains in INR? 
  • What did you think the other half who didn't have access to formalized banking systems would do?
  • How did you think small traders and 'footpath vendors' would transact when there is a shortage of smaller denominations in the economy?
  • Have you thought about the cost of lost productivity?

But then this post isn't about demonetization. These are valuable lessons to learn. 
We love complaining so much that if it were an Olympic sport, we'd finish gold. 

Many years ago, I nearly gave up after cycling for a grueling 70 kms in the middle of nowhere in the Tour Of Nilgiris. I was with a cycling partner who kept complaining about his life. After hearing him rant about the choices he made in life in detail, I decided to let him go ahead so that I could finish the rest of the ride without the constant negativity. 

Social media and an over-enthusiastic mainstream media has given birth to a prevalence of armchair activists and crabby complain nannies. 
I see my FB feed filled with people complaining about the taxes, local infrastructure woes and now the demonetization. 
While I respect your opinion, I don't want to hear about how inconvenient this is. I don't want you to hear your expert rhetoric about how Modi should have done this.
Do you have an opinion? Say it, don't rant about it. Give a solution. Don't keep pointing to the obvious. 

When our roads are unsafe because of speeding traffic, instead of educating and ensuring (future) citizens are aware of safety, we build unscientific speed-breakers to slow our motorists down. 
Even when we are told to wear a helmet or buckle up for safety, we will choose to not follow the rules, because it is inconvenient for us. Because it is cheaper to pay a fine than to buy a helmet.
We love complaining about how we are polluting the environment even when we make the decision to buy a car only for the mileage. 
We have foot-over-bridges, but how many times have you seen pedestrians jaywalking?
How many times have you seen motorists breaking the law? 
How often do you segregate trash? Recycle? Reuse? Refuse?
How many times have you cut the line when standing in a Q?
How many times have you supported the LGBT community?
How many times have you been honest and compliant to the laws of the land in the past week?
How many times have you paid your taxes honestly? 
I could go on, but you get the drift, right? 

We love to complain about corrupt our politicians are, but come elections, we will accept bribes and cash in exchange for our votes.

As a country, we love to complain because that makes us look sophisticated and literate.
It makes us look liberal and nouveau riche and is an excellent conversation starter at any gathering.

Ofcourse I am guilty too, and like all old habits, this one will die hard. 
But like a determined ox, I will muzzle my mouth, stay calm, keep my head down and plow on. 

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

We, The Hypocrites!

These are interesting times we live in. 
Two things happened. Yes, three things I will never understand. 

First, the oldest democracy in the world allowed 2 of the worst people to campaign for their most powerful political position. 

Hillary Clinton, probably the most corrupt woman politician in the Western hemisphere, campaigned and lost against a first-time politician Donald J Trump. The Trump wasn't even taken seriously in an election that had candidates like Ben Carson (surely, they jest) and Bernie Sanders (who is still feeling the bern).

Midway through the elections, around the time, the rest dropped out, I realized that America was doomed. I kept predicting how Trump would win partly because I knew of the power of 'memory-recall' with all the free media attention (bashing) he was getting. He also had the money to bankroll his victory in swing States, much like Bush Jr. The Donald said things most people were itching to hear but didn't have the balls to say. He wasn't a typical
politician programmed to be politically correct. He was raw, uninhibited and didn't have much to lose. He was already using his donor's money to settle his legal disputes and anything else he got was going to stay with him. Trump is a powerful orator, not in the same polished league as Obama, but effective nonetheless. The upcoming First Lady not so much, but who gives a dump?

Trump never lied about his misadventures and rarely apologized for what he was. If you've watched the Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump, you'll realize how the man is actually capable of taking much and giving it back in the same way.

Hillary, on the other hand, was at best a deceptive politician. Like her husband a couple of years ago, she flip-flopped. Period. If you take away the gender card that she (and her supporters) was playing, you'll realize she tried every dirty trick in the book to trip Trump. 
She kept giving excuses for the email server booboo. How can a Secretary of State of the most technologically-advanced nation not know how to use the official email system. How could she use the same server her husband would have used? If you know what I mean. 
She got people who Trump slighted to fire salvos from her shoulder. He is guilty, but trying to play the 'holier than thou' trick was dirty. 

The US Presidential Elections 2016 was perhaps that event in political history that will be remembered for many many decades to come. It's that point in history where 'The Superpower' that was famous for bringing democracy to the rest of the world slipped, tripped and came landing on its crown. They'll never know how bad it is until it's too late. It's that time when we all asked 'So you could only get these 2 guys out of a few 100 million to replace Obama?!!! WOW'. It's that political event that made the greatest nation on earth the laughing stock of the universe. 

No matter who was finally voted, it was going to be downhill from here. And now that you have rocked the vote, you better shut the eff up and learn to either live with it or figure the best way out. You can't pretend to not know this was how it was going to happen. I am pretty sure, we would've seen similar outrage and indignation if Mrs Clinton was voted to power. 
It's the End of the World, as we know it. 
********************************************************************************** Talking about the end of something, back in India, Prime Minister Modi declared 2 of the highest paper currency denominations invalid and all hell broke lose. What followed revealed the people that we are. There were mile-long queues at each (functioning) ATM and bank branch. Tempers flared as cash stockpiles vanished and anarchists took over spreading disinformation, and rumors. There are thousands of people (including the PM) saying how we should just grin and bear it for the sake of the greater good and this is but a temporary setback and then there are thousands who say this was a terribly timed, ill-planned move. The arguments from both the camps are quite compelling and that's the beauty of the freedom of speech. 
What I can't understand is why the panic? 
It wasn't like we didn't have debit and credit cards that we couldn't use. 
It isn't like we don't use the internet to buy things anyway. 
It isn't like we didn't pay bills online anyway. 
It isn't like we didn't have time until the 31 of March 2017. We did.

But like it is typical for us, 'we rushed with the rope and water as soon as we heard the bull was giving birth', the nation panicked and ran to our banks and then when things didn't go to the best of our satisfaction, we complained. When we did manage to get our hands on those new currency notes, we took a selfie and posted it online to gloat and dissect the design. Which reminds me, the way we love to scribble stuff on our currency, no matter how beautiful our bank notes are, the designs are a moo point.

Now, I am from neither camp. I am no fan of Modi because I have had the privilege of having seen a lot more world politics in societies that are better coordinated and motivated than ours. I know what Modi is doing right with his many travels abroad, is what our elected and business leaders should have done 60 years ago. When we have a nation of people who know how to debate endlessly on national television without knowing how important international trade (free trade agreement) is to a country's growth, then we know we have a nation of dumb-fu@ks. But I digress.

I do believe we need to delete corruption from our society. The sooner, the better.  But to achieve that, we need a radical improvement of how we think and perform at the grassroots. 

If this is so much of a speck in your eye, why don't you just transact online? Why can't we have a law which mandates every transaction over ₹25,000 to be done online? Why are we so militantly resistant about going cashless? 
Here's why - 

  • Because none of us will ever abide by all the laws and rules, if we know we can get away with it. Honesty and integrity is best defined as doing the right thing when you know no one's watching. 
  • Because none of us will ever refuse to bribe when a need and the opportunity arrives. And when we do earn our money in ways other than legal, we aren't going to keep them in INR. We stash them away as luxury apartments, Mercs, Beemers, gold, diamonds, and US$. Doh! 

We will continue to see posts of Modi-haters complaining about how this 'demonetization' is 'Modi's demonization of India' while the rival camp will gloat about how much this helped our economy. 
Most people, however, will say this should have been done with minimal discomfort. Sure, this attitude is exactly why generations of politicians and businessmen have managed to siphon off trillions of dollars right underneath our noses and out of the economy. We'd prefer that our lives are as pain-free as possible. This is exactly why we are still a developing nation almost 20 years behind countries like Singapore and Japan. 

It wasn't like he didn't say he was going to go tough on black-marketers. Modi promises more such changes to mop up every illegal rupee you earned, and seeing as he has delivered so far, it will bode well that you follow instructions and surrender because unlike in the US, he is here for the long haul. Ain't no term-limit here, Sahib.

Circa 2016
United States of America : Split wide open at the center because their citizens got fed up with politicians who thought they could get away with anything. Decades of white supremacy rhetoric has finally yielded its rich crop of hate. Fu@k 'Em!

India: A Hindu nation with a visionary head of government who wants to single-handedly gallop, hoping to change the way the rest of us behave and think. The only problem is  - He is trying to do in 5 years what Gandhi took decades to do. It will take us a few generations to change but we will get here. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Yes, with some exceptions we are possibly the only species who can think intelligently, speak rationally and still manage to bastardize the system.

Saturday, June 06, 2015

As you liked it Mar/Apr/May 2015

This past month showed us the power of PR. So if you want to change the world one news reel a time, get into PR. Not into IIPM 2.0. Whatever that means..

Modi is probably the only Indian politician who has mastered PR that works. Last year, with 3D hologram projections, he won the hearts and imaginations of a billion people. 

A year later, his government is a monumental disappointment. His fans will insist he is 'getting there', yet we see industrial output shrinking and the economy in animated suspense. But wait! He is still not done with all the travel. 100 more countries to go. Maybe he could check-in to the newest luxury hotel in the Middle East.

The PM who wanted us to Make In India, ended up buying fighter planes from France and saving their industries from shutting down. Incredible just like that!

So what if he trash-talked his opponents (read Congress) while visiting other countries he did manage to mend some fences back home with Didi and later... Amma. Well, he should. Because he wasn't getting any of his bills through the parliament the way things were.

Salman Khan, Bollywood's Enfact Terrible and 'Philanthropist', got convicted in a lawsuit that appeared to take forever. But hey, like most Bollywood blockbusters, there was the happy ending  - the High Court over-turned the verdict and set him free! All because he is a good man. What kinda 'good man' throws his driver under the bus? Oh the irony!

Now if that wasn't terrible enough, we had nuggets of pure gold from Bollywood 'celebrities'. Some of who you'd not like to caught dead following online. Now, I am all for free speech and shit, but shouldn't we really punish people for their public bouts of verbal diarrhea?

Oh and Farah Khan Ali, please disconnect your internet connection and throw your phone and computer into the fucking Arabian Sea. You are nothing but a slightly more better looking version of Rakhi Sawant. Dumb as a door-knob, not a blush more, not a gloss less

Fat Lady Jayalalitha got her clean chit. Sure, when you have a platoon of over-priced lawyers fighting for you, I'd be surprised if she didn't get the acquittal she did

But hey, if she didn't get away this time, she was ready to hire Harish Salve, the man who 'saved' Salman Khan. Move over Ram Jethmalani, there is a new black-coat in town. Strangely, the Old Man is quiet too. Not surprising though considering how his daughter and son(s) have been up to their sambar-savored throats in lawsuits, it would be like the pot calling the kettle black.

But all this should sound like music to Dawood Ibrahim. Isn't our judiciary wonderful!

Look what the cat dragged in -  Rahul Gandhi. All fresh, rejuvenated and brimming with life juice. After a much needed vacation, he hit the road running. Went for the jugular and gave some sterling speeches. That's enough work for one year. 

India is perhaps the only democracy in the history of the world where we can have celebrity legislators and part-time politicians who mooch around doing everything else but what they are paid to do.

Hey Rahul, you had your chance. You blew it. You could have done the same things that Modi is doing years ago when the BJP were nothing but a squabbling bunch of senile old men. 

Modi, what in the world were you (and your party) doing all these years when you were in the opposition? Being in the opposition doesn't mean you can't still push for reforms, does it? So both of you, shut the fuck up and get down to business.
Screaming blue murder and labeling each-other makes us look like babbling seal lions fighting over a grape. 

India's First Son-in-Law Mr Robert Vadra spoke. Let's just say that much, because what he says really doesn't matter. It's nearly always 24 carat crap.

So what if we cannot give our farmers a proper livelihood, or protect our citizens from Maoists, we still had to have that billion dollar fancy war boat.

Indian Railways recently celebrated 162 years of servitude. Just about time to reveal its biggest scam. Let's raise a toast to that!

Ramalinga Raju, Hyderabad's poster boy for IT got 7 years. For someone who ran India's biggest corporate scam, this judgement is a mockery, but who cares.

Delhi entered another state of suspended animation. No Surprise. We have Mr Kejriwal back as the Chief of the Toon (er Goon) Squad. The self-proclaimed anarchist and papa of corrupt daughter probably wants to govern for a little longer than he did the last time, but looking at the way things have been going I don't think he'll make it to full term this time either.. Who cares about the farmers, anyway?

And you know what else is wonderful, Obama lied to us. Apparently, Osama was 'sold' to the Americans for the bounty on his head. All this and more if investigative journalist Seymour Hersh is to be believed. Predictably, the White House has denied this. Why wouldn't they?! That is probably one of the handful of things O can claim to have achieved during his presidency. With a shade of a year and half left, things seems to be unraveling for Nobel Peace Prize winner and America's first black president.

Locally in many parts of Bangalore, thousands of people lost their homes and offices when the local municipal authority bull-dozed structures that were illegally built on tank and lake beds. I can imagine the plight of those who lost their homes, but bull-dozing them can't fix our ecological mistakes. The government must be proactive to relocate those who have been evicted because none of this would've happened if governmental officials didn't connive with builders who developed and sold this land in the first place. Besides, leaving piles of rubble won't revive the lakes and the job is only half done now. Ironically, the government isn't doing enough to save lakes that are still there. Displacing citizens when elections are still far away isn't a risky move because chances are, we will all forget about this by then.

Talking about elections, the United Kingdom went to polls and Cameron did a 'Modi'. He swept the parliament lock, stock and Scottish barrel. 

A Chinese CEO gave his entire staff of 6400 women employees an all-expenses paid trip to France. Good for them! Here are other large-hearted employers who treated their employees out. And then there is this Chinese  employer who offered a night with Japanese pornstar Julia Kyoko. Now, who wouldn't want to work their asses out for that?

So while we have CEOs tripping over themselves trying to keep their employees happy, can someone give our farmers some TLC too? Driven to suicide because of bad weather (duh!), a vicious credit system and a brutal economy that believes in rewarding the rich, it appears like the larger population has become insensitivity to their plight. After all, we can't really identify with our farmers anymore. We don't mind it when farmers kill themselves in their fields, their homes or from trees. Sure, it is an inconvenient sight, but something we can get over with. It isn't enough to jolt us from our recliners. Self-immolation maybe. But this ain't 1980. We have other Breaking News on news channels now.

A Delhi teen brutally bludgeoned a bus driver to death because of road rage. Egged on by his mother who wanted her son to teach the driver a lesson. Most Indians aren't shocked because nearly everyone of us would have either egged someone on, or seen someone egg someone else on. The driver's family has demanded a compensation of ? 1 crore and a permanent job for the son. Let the negotiations begin.
Next story please.

Its said that the Mona Lisa might be hiding a picture of an alien high-priest. Why do we have to see something supernatural in everything extraordinary? 

Right after this, they will be studying why men need to shake it twice. 

Pakistan: How do I put it gently?

Former Twin/Estranged Indian Brother/Failed State/Great People  Awful Politicians/Safe Haven for Terrorist Scum/Benefactor to aid from 'Developed Nations' to get rid of said Scum/host of RANDI
Oh yeah. That's what happens when you have the Chinese doing stuff with you. We made such a fuss when the Chinese promised $46 billion but when Modiji went got some of the Chinese moolah, we said - In your face, Pakistan Bbbbuuuurnnnnn

Nepal: A lesson in PR disaster. 

Every ounch of goodwill we gained in speed and effort, we lost when we started patting ourselves on our backs. Yes, we couldn't stop gloating at how Modi convened an emergency meeting, sent plane-loads of relief and manpower and moved heaven and earth to help wipe the tears of our Nepali brothers and sisters.
And then we went overboard. Waay overboard. And we wouldn't stop, until they told us to get the hell out. 
From pat on the back to the swift kick in the butt, making friends everywhere we go.

Marital Rape. We still can't decide which side we are on. Decisiveness has never been our strengths.

And talking about rape, one of India's original Nirbhay died for the final time after living like a vegetable for 42 years. Aruna Shanbaug, didn't deserve to live a life that her colleagues wanted. She died for the first time 42 years ago when a hospital janitor sodomized her. Her colleagues kept her alive to prove that they can be as defiant as defiant can be. India may have legalized euthanasia since but ironically, we didn't think she deserved mercy anymore. We needed a memorial - Aruna Shanbaug. She finally is in a much better place.

Meanwhile, her rapist has gone on to live a life less ordinary. If you ask me what an ideal punishment would be - Make him watch his wife and every single person in his family lobotomized. 

Many young nouveau riche, fully educated, completely fucked-up Indians have been circulating emails and posting statistics on FB comparing rapes in India versus The World. So do you need a medal for that

So you think we should be sensitized towards women by now? Nah. Rapes whether you are in Washington or Warangal, Oxford or Palakkad, when we violate a woman, it is probably the worst kind of crime we can commit and get away. 

A student in Oxford wrote about her rape
Back in India, we still love to stare at those luscious cleavages of our tourists while flogging the dolphin.

Silk Road creator, Ross Ulbricht was sentenced to life in prison for creating and running an illegal online empire of drugs and guns. If you ask me, I think we need to have geniuses like him serving humanity with forced community service until death. Life is too precious to rot away in prison.

Snapdeal, take notes and thank God you are in India.

In news that can inspire you to move beyond your armchair, read about Arunima Sinha. The former athlete, victim of government apathy and first female amputee to climb the Everest. Bravo!

Yemen went to the dogs the Syria way. Ironically, Saudi Arabia fought back. Not to free the country, but because they hate Iran. Tom never got Jerry after all those years, if you know what I mean.

In this month's DILLIGAF section,

  • We have a 94 year old American man who became the world's oldest person to graduate. If he was an Indian, hmmm... nevermind.
  • An Arab mother, probably in a refugee camp, was caught mothering her baby. And a father who sold his daughter for Rs 25000/-. Child Services, anyone?
  • A french company managed to manufactured human sperm in a petri-dish. And that's how men will become irrelevant in the future.
  • An Uber driver was accused of forcibly trying to kiss his female passenger and the world got to know this from an FB post. Looks like some of the drivers didn't get the memo.
  • A former Pakistani diplomat, Hussain Haqqani, revealed how Pakistan uses its weapons against India. Tell us something new, Mr Pakistani Politician.
  • Some of you might remember Telangana. Oh yes, the State who had a float that had 'tourists' on it in the last Republic day parade. Yes, that glorious State that Sonia created before her party was booted off. Well, there are a lot of 'Progressive farmers' in the government and they love traveling too! Why not?! We might as well learn something about farming and babies for sale from European countries. 
  • You want to read up on ISIS, RTFM
  • Morari Bapu. Fuck You!
  • Shobha De. Ditto.
  • Maggi. 'nuf said.

FB is a wonderful place to spend your day. Its a little piece of humanity online - Strangers cussing at eachother, some of them flirting with anything that looks like a woman (or have a pussy), and the others trying to sell anything they can lay their hands on.

I am mighty proud of myself. Correction: I am told that I should be proud of being an Indian. Why, you ask? Well, because a Sikh boy beat the crap out of a white boy who shoved him. Great! This is exactly the kind of violent reputation we need. Ofcourse, you can't see the much circulated video anymore because it has been taken down since. Thank You, Youtube.

Say salaam alaikum to Mia Khalifa. Our Arab cousins got all riled up and banned her and him! Just curious how they 'discovered' her. So ladies and gentlemen, I'll save you all a google search...

The Greenpeace got banned and so did the Ford Foundation. So much for being business-friendly

Talking about bans, in case you think you can get away eating beef at home. Think again. The great State of Maharasthra now authorizes its policemen to enter your home and investigate you if they suspect you. That escalated fast

And finally, if you thought that deo/damn cold soda/music CD/club glasses/energy drink/car/dirty off-roader/puny scooter/all-powerful bike could get you laid or that women were just waiting to have hot steamy sex with you, you need to stop watching Splitsvilla and watch this before its banned. 

All hail the power of PR!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...