Showing posts with label Prathiba Patil. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Prathiba Patil. Show all posts

Monday, December 09, 2013

While you were gone: November / December 2013

'Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country' - JFK.
RIP Madiba

After years of unabated corruption and an economy that is going south faster than Obama's ratings, our unemployed but immensely talented youngsters are finally taking things into their hands.

ATM heists are passe. We now have our youngsters preying on people using the ATM. Earlier this month, a 'well-built young man..' attacked a bank manager when she was using her bank's ATM. She sustained severe head trauma when he attacked her with a machete. He later robbed her and escaped. Last heard, he is still at large. What surprises me are the following -

  1. How is it that CCTV cameras are not monitored real-time?
  2. How is it that we can't nab the culprit? Are we that incompetent? Or are we that impotent?
At the wake of this atrocity, the cops in Bangalore did what they normally do when they have a situation they have no idea how to grapple - Shut Down. Thousands of ATMs across the city shuttered and if you wanted to withdraw money, you were screwed.
But then, unlike bars and discos, ATMs are not something you can keep shuttered. So they opened. And we are none the wiser. ATMs still don't have guards and the ones that have, are senile old men on the wrong side of 60 and can't wield a gun, let alone fire one.
Happy International Men's day, anyone?

Israel was in the cross-hairs again. When will we all accept the fact that blaming Israel isn't going to change anything?
But what changed was - We cancelled the VIP helicopter deal. Big Effing Deal!
O knew that his healthcare website would crash. So tell me this. Is there ANYTHING that he hasn't been briefed on?

And if you were in the Subcontinent, you wouldn't have missed the All India All Hail Sachin bhajjan. And in the great Indian tradition of sycophancy, we tripped over eachother to award Sachin the Bharat Ratna. Seriously!
Next year, the Nobel prize.
But wait, Vishwanath Anand lost to Carlson in a rather tame match. Maybe we must stone his house and ask him to retire.

In our 'Crime This Month' section, we have Jyothi's parents raised a petition to have the juve tried under harsher laws. The SC appears to relent too. Don't hold your breath, though.
Tehelka honcho Tarun Tejpal did a Phaneesh Murthy. Epic mistake.
And out tumbled the skeletons. Some really old. How can we condone 'victims' who make a complaint years after the incident?
Across the Atlantic, Rajat Gupta challenged his $13.9 million fine.
Back home, the Talwars paid the ultimate prize for being what they were - Persistent and unrelenting. Never mind the fact that the CBI once told them they were not even suspects, the SC sentenced them to life in prison. Read 'em and weep, fellas.
And Oh! In a few years, we can also watch their ordeal in 30 mm. And why not. It has all the ingredients for a potboiler - Murder, mystery, sex, incompetent authorities, determined (stone-faced) protagonists and a trial by the people.

Pratibha Patel, arguably the worst excuse for a President, returned all official gifts that she got during her infamous tenure at the Rastrapathi Bhavan. What took her so long?

CobraPost did another sting and this time, unearthed an ugly network of IT companies willing to cultivate the social network for the right price. So that explains a lot of things now.
Bitcoin prices surged past the $1000 mark. Yay!
An enterprising Chinese thief sent 11 handwritten pages of phone numbers from an iPhone that he stole to its owner. Respect!
Scotland will finally be an independent country.
And talking about scot-free, Assange may not face any charges in America. If you ask me, Snowden looks more attractive now.
Uncle Sam, the international moral cop, flexed its muscles against China.
Everytime I think about America's diplomacy with the Orient, I remember 'Beijing 2008', a provocative painting which has been the subject of much discussion.


And the people of 'by-two coffee' went gaga when Starbucks opened its signature store in Bangalore. Okay, can we all settle down, please? Blah!
Delhi and 3 other States went to the polls and the AAP and the BJP packed off the Congress in a reply fitting a stray dog waiting to be euthanized. No offense, Priyanka.

In Bollywood news, Sanjay Leela Bhansali proved that even he can make puke colorful.
Ram Leela is the most expensive (and the longest) anti-dandruff/soft-porn/anti-gun propaganda that struggles to sell the Romeo Juliet story. That the couple kill eachother in the end is the only semblance to the 'adaptation'.
The 'romance' resembles lust, carnal lust. Surely, SLB wanted to capitalize on the real-life chemistry and he sure did. But knowing how Deepika is a gold-digger, this is one (more) on-screen chemistry she will regret in the future.
And Priyanka? She really needed the cash, I guess.
Ranveer, you've got potential. Take our advice and don't waste it!
So SLB, I'd give your 'magnum opus' a generous 1 out of 10 and that's only because you've obviously spent millions on sets. Read a more detailed review of Ram Leela by our guest blogger and movie buff Suparna here.

And so its December! The month of lists.
Stay tuned for 'Ze List 3.0'


Thursday, July 19, 2012

Good riddance [201/365]

Indian politics have begun to resemble the WWE.
We have the few 'good' guys fighting the many 'bad' guys. We have enough drama and mayhem to inspire even the most out of luck dimwitted scriptwriter.

As India's first female President finishes her term at Raisina Hill, what she leaves behind is a legacy of corruption, nepotism and charges of causing loss to the national exchequer. 

Begin, the latest feud over who gets to replace her.
Like a well publicized pay-per-view event, the ruling coalition fields its aging finance minister.
And on the other side of the squared ring, we have the former Speaker of the house.

For reasons obvious, the ruling coalition has a massive advantage over his opponent who has nothing but good oratorical skills and the tag of being tribal.
The speed at which Pranab Mukherjee resigned from his ministerial post and the half dozen other 'posts of gain' smacks of a certain disdain for serving the people in a time when our economy looks like my kitchen sink after a party.
After having made a mush of the Indian economy, the haste at which he left makes it look like he was in a tearing hurry to get out of a sinking ship. So why did Sonia choose PM? Probably, because it would make more sense to install an aging puppet at the Rastrapati Bhavan than to hope of a return to power at the Parliament anytime soon. After all, she did have Manmohan at the helm of things for a while now and as his magic begins to wane, Pranabda makes for an excellent replacement.

Against these odds, Sangma doesn't stand a chance. Playing his tribal card as he did, was a gross mistake that made him look like a competitor unworthy of representing an India that as diverse as it is progressive. Pranabda, on the other hand, is an astute politician with a knack of being at the right place at the right time. Adept and shrewd, he was no-one's pushover. Having to choose between the two, Pranab Mukherjee is the lesser evil of the two.

God forbid a president whose only credentials is that he is the former Speaker of the house and a tribal leader. Sangma definitely lacks the experience or the charisma to hold a post that can represent a country that has progressed inspite of its politicians and not because of it.

I can only hope that Pranab Mukherjee resists the temptation of corruption and the hand of his puppet mistress/master.


Saturday, June 30, 2012

Been there, June that [182/365]

exactly, my reaction too!
So another month has rolled past.
Another month on that much needed sabbatical..

It has been a wonderful month for the scribes and looking at the sheer volume of newsreel wasted on controversies, it looks like we are right in the eye of the storm.

Lee got his pound of flesh and Hesh, the spoils of war. Sania became bait. Predictably she complained, but well, what else did she expect?
Pinky got fingered. In every sense of the word. The Asiad gold medalist was accused by her live-in partner and everyone (for their 15 minutes of fame) of being a man. S(he) raped her. In a culture where we frown and snigger at transvestites, this was gold. She was paraded through half a dozen nursing homes, and hospitals, made to strip and subjected to every atrocity known to Indians. God bless her. For a individual to go through this and survive takes nerves of steel.

Not to be undone, Fitch lowered India's credit rating and a G20 poll listed India as the 'Worst place for a woman'. Duh!
Our cops decided to play moral teachers and went on a spree raiding night clubs and discotheques. Scantily clad, half naked bodies of PYTs covering just their faces were shown on prime time television and national media. Hot news!

Pascal  Mazurier, a french consulate official, was accused by his Indian wife of raping their 3 year old daughter. What followed was many days of sensationalism and then the anti-climax- the DNA didnt match the sample on the child's private area. The last we heard was that the wife praising the husband and seeking privacy and respect for the family during this time. Well, if you ask me, lady, when you went to the press throwing about allegations, you signed off your death warrant. If you ask me, I think you are a gold-digger and you simply wanted to make sure you got a good 'deal' (aka alimony). But again, I would love to be proved wrong and I wish the guilty be punished.
Talking about child abuse, the Supreme court ruled that any kind of abuse towards children be treated differently from abuse towards adults. What took us so long to realize this? Isn't it natural to punish those to abuse children in a way that will affect them for life? I so wish my mother listened to me when I told her that a man raped me when I was just 11. But again, this is the problem with Indian parents. They simply don't know when to listen, and how to react. I am neither supporting nor accusing Mrs Pascal. But I think when her daughter first complained, she should have paid attention and brought this to the notice of the authorities then and not waited for a full year. 

Bollywood celebrated. Period.
President Pratibha Patil in a final act of grace, pardoned a dead man. Thank God, the Indian prez is just a nominal figure of the constitution or we may have had to suffer the ignominy of having another 'Bush'.

And while still on the topic of elections, Eygpt got their first democratically elected president after about three decades- the Muslim Brotherhood elect -Morsi. As he steps into the shoes of Mubbarak, lets hope he leads the most populous African nation into prosperity.

Here's to a great July!
Hic Hic Hurray!


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