Showing posts with label Romance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Romance. Show all posts

Monday, July 26, 2021

Chapter 4: Beautiful Love

She sat there.

Blush pink lips in oversized sunglasses. 

Stoic. Annoyed.

She just wanted to get out of there. With him in tow. She didn't want to be caught seen with the man she was secretly in love with.

He was just happy to see her. Couldn't stop staring at those lips he'd only fantasized about. Straining to catch a glimpse of the eyes he would longingly stare at in her pictures. 

She hated that he stared. 

They dreamt of each other. Every day and every night. 

She was his muse. His poetic license.

He was her bold experiment. 

Together they didn't mean much. Apart, they were meaningless. 

The first time her hands brushed off his, she recoiled. The last time - they couldn't let go of each other as they intertwined their hands. Aware that it would be their last.

The first time she was touched, she was repulsed. The last time - they hugged as if they had to, lest life will cease. Aware it would be their last.

They learned to love each other - gently. They were not ravenous. They were simply grown-ups learning to live past traumas. They were both survivors of a life fully lived. 

She didn't know how much he loved her. 

He didn't know how much she's been through. 

Yet, when they loved, they loved each other with a fresh resurgence. 

Both were on uncharted territory. Navigating a sea of debris, some known, some unknown. 

They would fantasize how it was, but neither of them knew what it would become.

After sex, they would simply lie next to each other, as she buried her head in complete embarrassment and utter disbelief that she just came and...

Loving another person is like taking a leap of faith - it's like diving head-first into the pool. Without knowing if you're diving into the shallow or the deep end. 

.... they would simply lie down there next to each other talking.

Love is complicated. It is more than just being hungry for each other's bodies. It is loving the person beneath the scarred body. 

Love is more than just phone sex and craving to fuck hard until she cums. It is knowing she is living the moment with you when you look into her eyes.

Love is when they meet, they forget all the angst of being apart. All the years they lost not making love was in the past.

They used to wonder if it was lust or love. 

All doubts were dispelled as they made love for the first time.

In the moments that lead up to the final rush, the fog in her mind cleared. Like wiping a scribbled blackboard clean with a new duster. 

As she dismounted him, she knew this was it. 

He never knew what hit him. He didn't realize it was not him. Or maybe it was him and all the men who didn't give a damn about her. It was never meant to be. 

But like all the times this happened, it's ok when people mate and not for life. 

As he lay naked next to her clothed body, he wanted to run away. But he stayed. Because he wanted her to have closure. He didn't want to ghost her like how he was ghosted before. 

'I love you' He said.

She looked at him and smiled.

Maybe the sex wasn't great.
Maybe she didn't like my body.
Maybe I came too soon.
Maybe I was underwhelming.
Maybe she doesn't love me.
Maybe it's my body odor.
Maybe she didn't like my length and girth.
Maybe I was too heavy on her.
Maybe she doesn't love me.
Maybe I didn't satisfy her.
Maybe I shouldn't have stopped after we came. 
Maybe I should have kept going like in those movies.
Maybe she doesn't love me.
Maybe I shouldn't have wanted to make love and just held out.
Maybe I shouldn't have been upset with her.
Maybe I said it too soon.

He never heard it back.

As he heard her soft snores, he came closer to hold her tight. Careful not to wake her yet wanting to tell her how much he loves her. Straining to hear her heart's conversations.

He wraps his arms around her waist and hugs her one final time but she snuggles into him on cue. 

For tomorrow - Sure as light shatters darkness - this will be over. But for now, they would wake up cuddled, legs intertwined, lips in kissing distance in a large bed. Both knowing they are safe. Nothing bad could ever happen right now.

He lay awake aware that he will never again be able to share the air she breathes. 

The Love That Lifted

Sunday, April 25, 2021

Chapter 9: A Love that Lifted

We met. We didn't mean to fall in love. 
We were practically single and weren't looking for love. 

But there she was - wearing a knee-length skirt and a top that made her look like a dainty fairy. We didn't even lock eyes, even though she caught my eye. I loved the way she spoke. She was and still remains the most articulate lady I've ever met.

A chance trip back home led to a relationship that started with the silliest joke. Her laughter hooked me on. We spoke through the night and almost every night after that. We bared our lives, darkest secrets, and felt like 16-year-olds again - hormones and more - all over again.

We loved and fought hard. We had screaming matches when we couldn't bear being apart. And then when we met, I felt like we just fit perfectly.

I still remember the first day I felt butterflies in my stomach. I felt feelings I'd never felt before. I felt shy! I giggled and I'm pretty sure she bit her lips to stifle her blush. Her eyes were mesmerizing, and today, years later, I know that was the moment we both knew something was wrong yet deeply right. Things weren't going to be the same after that moment. 

We never pretended to be anything we weren't. The curtains and the masks were never deployed. We would make love and I'd worry if my sweat would drip on her face and she would pull my face closer and kiss me. She loved to mop the sweat off my brow even when she knew I would shriek in horror that a person would touch my sweat, let alone tolerate it. 

Her hugs had the power to heal. And heal she did. She healed me in ways I never thought were possible. 
She taught me to live in the moment and I'm so glad I let myself live that relationship. 
She made me discover my limits and our possibilities. 

The irony was - She thought I was a flirt. Even when she was the first girl I had trouble flirting with. I couldn't help being in her life. 

Strangely, we never discussed nor thought of 'our' future and we struggled to break up. Several times in a brief couple of months we dated. But when we did, we knew it was the end - or at least one of us was serious it was the end. 

The first time we met, we had dinner and ice cream. And coincidentally, that was what we did the last time we met as well.

It's true we never held back and through the moments we lived together, we saw each other's flaws and never regretted the time we spent with each other.

We often wondered together the 'Why' and the 'How long' of 'Us'. 
But when we did, we bit the bullet and took the plunge, and as wonderful as it was when we met, as complete as we felt we were with each other, as devoid life felt without each other before this, we parted with a hug - that same life-giving hug I still crave for. 

I know she thinks about me. Because I do every single day. 

Was our relationship doomed? I don't know. 
Was our relationship a mirage? I know it wasn't. 

This was a relationship that lived its course... Yet one where I cannot unlove. 

Sunday, February 07, 2016

The demise of a heart | Manna for your Soul

This is the month of love!

What happens when people fall in love?
Colors are brighter, smells are stronger, fragrances are arousing, mountains become molehills, you get the drift right..

But here's a question most people don't want to ask themselves - What happens when a relationship breaks?
Suddenly you feel a vacuum in your life. Your phone don't feel the same anymore. Its almost like you've died inside. 
You fall back onto habits that comforted you, but realise that nothing is the same again. 
Every bone in your body feels disjointed. Every muscle like a over-stretched rubber-band. 
You want to curl up in the darkest corner of the dankest room in your house and stay there.
You cry out to God asking for peace. Sometimes you just cry.
You want to be alone yet with company just so that you can hear voices other than your own. 
You have chores to do but any effort is simply futile.
You desperately cling onto fading memories of a dead relationship... hoping it would come alive again.
You dissect and analyse every minute of what happened and wish you could undo it. Even if you know that only means sacrificing the reason why you did it in the first place.

You want to cure that throbbing pain somewhere in the nether regions of your heart and intestines. 
Some people would want to drown their pain but like corpses that float back up, memories buoy. 
Most believe time will heal your pain and maybe it will. But what can heal your pain right now?
Prayer can. But like everything else, God cannot be rushed.

Why do relationships break?
People are attracted to each other because of things they share.
In the rare chance that you actually find that someone who fits you like that carefully-knit customized glove, don't let go. If you have found a person so alike you, you'd even have the same tattoo and the same temperaments, pawn away your ego and stay.  
The perspectives are varied, and the journey to the now was different. The dreams could be the same, but the paper to those blueprints are different. 
Your expectations out of each other grow. You expect the other person to be reasonable, patient, forgiving and loving. We want our love to be like in Corinthians 13: 4-8. We earnestly want a love that is perfect. 
Yet how many of us are really patient and hopeful? 
How many of us can claim to not be angered, boastful and trusting?

But the truth is - Human relationships are imperfect. Very few people can claim to be everything we are told to be in Corinthians 13. The only perfect relationship you can ever have is one with God. 
The fact that you are alive and reading this is proof that God loves you more than he/she loved you. 

Pray, even if all you can ask is for yourself. Because He knows you are hurting. 
Pray, even if you are angry at God for what happened. Because He isn't going to be mad at you for being pissed off at Him.
Pray, even if sobs intersperse your sentences. Because He knows the hurt behind those tears.
Pray, for him/her. Ask that they find happiness and peace in their souls. Because no matter why the relationship failed, they are going through every painful ache that you are going through as well. Because they need healing too. Because if you were with them, you wouldn't bear to see their tears, how could you let them grieve when you are not with them? 
Pray for both of yourselves. Because you both need the peace that surpasses all understanding. Because you need to heal.
Pray, because you can't be vengeful. Because it's much more satisfying when you let the person you loved the most go.

Personally, I've always believed in - 'If you love a person, let them go. If they come back, they were yours. If they don't. They never were.' 
My pastor would add - 'Sometimes, you just have to keep the doors to your heart open for a little while longer. And if they don't come back, atleast you know you tried and didn't give up so easily.' 

You could hold yourself back to shield the pain of a future heartbreak, but when the relationship breaks, you will be shattered. 
You may not want to feel exposed, but the truth is - when you are in love, you have already made yourself vulnerable. Because when you are in love, you are letting that person choose to love you as much as they can hurt you. 

My advice: Don't break up. Better still, don't fall in love. 
Romantic relationships are not for people who can feel pain, articulate it and write about it.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

The Colors of Life

Isn't falling in love such a wonderful feeling?
This world has such excellent examples of people falling head over heals in love. 

So what makes two people love eachother so intensely?
Can it be chemistry?
Can it be shared likes and dislikes?
Could it be both?

Whatever it is, Love isn't impatient.
Love can be that gentle tug without your heart when you talk or think about that person.

Love isn't selfish. Because you give all you can and expect little in return. 
Love isn't lust, because when you love that person, you could go an entire lifetime, without lusting. 
Love is that soothing tub of warm water when your body is freezing. 

No other emotion in history can be more powerful than to fall in love, desperately. 
While you are falling in love, you also wonder if you are going to get hurt when you hit the ground. True love can however make you land on the ground like a cat.

So is love a lost cause? 
I don't know.
But this I know. Love is that cognitive elixir that can make everyday life a whole lot easier to bear. 

Can we sell bottled love? 
Maybe never. 
Loving a person can be the most noblest and the most fulfilling act a human being can do.

Can we conjure love out of thin air?
Again, no.
Sometimes, you find it and you will live the rest of your lives, wondering why you didn't meet eachother earlier.
And then sometimes, you don't and you will live with a person who is incompatible and has nothing in common.
To find a person who can reciprocate the love you yearn for, is the single greatest goal humans have. 

So what is love?
Love makes you grin a little longer and blush pinker.
Love makes your walk a little more livelier.
Love is that feeling of security and trust.
Love makes you want to go that extra marathon for her.
Love makes everything around you so much better.
Love can shrink distances and let you hold eachother. 
Love can make your heart skip a beat when you are together yet apart.

Take love out of a person and the world will be a cruel place to exist but love can make life that much more colorful.

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

Review: Titanic 3D: Still 'King of the world' [93/365]

100 years ago, the Titanic sunk like a certain Shah Rukh movie.
90 years later, James Cameroon make a ton of money by making the biggest blockbuster at the turn of the last century.
Today, he is preparing to sell old wine in new bottle.

But honestly, does the Titanic really get any more grandiose in 3D than it was in 2D?
Presumably, the scenes at the climax where the ship breaks in half have been left unchanged but much of the remaining part of the movie has been made a cinematic notch higher. After all, one of the greatest love stories of the last century has to be experienced in a theater rather than at home. Titanic 2D was never meant to be screened in your VCR or even your home theater, and so is Titanic 3D.
While Titanic 3D is surely every bit as real as you can get minus the hole in the pocket and the disaster, I am not sure if I'll want to film makers redoing their greatest epics in 3D. James Cameroon could have made an entirely new movie out of the money he spent in redoing the Titanic, but if the movie does (and most probably will) get the cash registers ringing, then he's hit the jackpot.

But why stop at 3D? Where viewers will be able to feel and smell everything that actors in the movie does in a 4D, you could soon have that sinking feeling.

So, can we really review a movie as good as the Titanic? Supposedly no.
An epic as fine as this is something you definitely need to see, even if it isn't for the 'now' mediocre acting of Leo or Kate. Even if you already know how the movie ends, and even if you know how basic some of the special effects now seem. Titanic 3D is surely one movie that you must watch in a theater.

Happy Viewing, everybody.

My Rating: 8

What does the ratings mean?
0-4  : Not worth your presence in the same zip code as the TV/Theatre.
5-7  : Err... the movie is pretty, but it's definitely missing something. A storyline, that is.
8-10: 'Drop-the-dishes, stop-the-sex, jaw-dropping, that-is-incredible' 2 hours of movie experience

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