Showing posts with label Sexual Abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sexual Abuse. Show all posts

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Guest Post: It’s not what it looks like. Its me!


Over the past few weeks, India has latched on to its newest hashtag - #MeToo.
Dozens of women have called out men with any semblance of power and accusations of how they harassed, abused, molested, tortured, or in any way inconvenienced them.
The men who have been accused have predictably reacted with shock, denial, and counter-accusations. Some have even apologised. 

And as usual, the media has taken sides - We are pro-feminists. And as always, we have condemned the men in the courts of our consciences.

So in the spirit of coming out and calling out, I want my 5 minutes of fame too. 

I am a 36 year old Indian woman, born and brought up in New York. I was drugged and raped by my friend at a frat party. I’ve been ‘raped’ twice since then by men who wanted to be my boyfriends and then dumped. 

When I moved to India 10 years ago, I thought my past was behind me and I could leave the scars of my past behind. How wrong I was!

My first boyfriend was a wonderful man. Or at least I thought he was. Until I started to work late nights. His patience and ‘understanding nature’ wore thin and his suspicion grew. He wanted to know who I was with and why I had to work late every night. He couldn’t believe a woman needed a career for all the real reasons a man needed one. 
The first time he ‘raped’ me, it was after a miserable argument where he said, emphatically, how he didn’t need my money. He needed my body and that’s all there was. He apologised to me the next morning. 
A week later, it happened again. 
And again.

I thought my boss, a woman, would understand what I was going through. I guess I just needed a hug, an ally to tell me I’ll be fine. 
It didn’t happen. Pouring my heart out to my boss only appeared to give her more power over me. She camouflaged power over me as empathy and I misread her signals. We’d meet over weekends and drinks at a pub transitioned into drinking at her home. After one of those binges, we ended up in bed. Now, I never knew I was bisexual and I don’t think I’m even attracted to women that way, but I know she knew what she was doing. The morning after was confusing to me. She pacified me and suggested I let it go as a ‘one off’ and move on. 

Working with her felt awkward. She was patient and wanted me to let time erase the memories. Sure. But it didn’t. 
Her patience began to wear thin. She started sidelining me in meetings and projects and it wasn’t too long before I began hearing hushed rumours about me. None of which mattered because I knew rumours and lies have short legs. 

That’s when Raj (fictional name, ofcourse) joined my team. Being a previously married man who had to fight hard for his divorce, he could cut the animosity in the office with a knife. Gradually, he learned how to separate fact from fiction and we made a good team. 
We’ve been dating each other for the last 4 years and he’s been patient with me. He has learned to deal with my trust issues and we still make a great team. 

But that’s not what this is about. 

Indians have been great at shaming other people.
We wear our hypocrisy on our sleeves and we, childishly, believe shaming another person is the most appropriate punishment/encouragement we can give. Partly because we are on our high-horses all the time and partly because we feel entitled. 

I’ve heard memes and jokes about how parents would shame their sons into doing better than Sharmaji’s son. Daughters, of course need to cook, knit and learn skipping ropes before being sold to the highest bidder when they reach their 20’s. 

We have our priorities terribly mixed up.

India is a country where a woman is raped every 20 minutes.
We have an appalling conviction rate. And even when prosecuted, it is just a matter of money and time, before the rapist will walk free. And one day, even become your legislator. 

India is a country where marital rapes will happen. A fact that has been endorsed by the highest court of the country. 

India is a country where female genital mutilation happens. Google for it. If men were subjected to something even remotely heinous, they would have fought hard to stop this.

India is a country which has states like Kerala. One that talks tall about the sex ratio, their matriarchal society and more. But try walking in a skirt and a T-shirt in Thiruvanthapuram and you will be ogled, bumped into, and groped. It isn’t any different in any other district within the State either. I was once catcalled when cycling within Wayanad. And I wasn’t even alone. 

Our sanitation standards are poor, economical inequality all pervasive, adulteration is rampant in the food we eat and the milk we drink. We can’t seem to get our roads done the way it should. We can’t seem to follow traffic rules for the life of us. We don’t have the political or moral will to treat each other with respect. Yes, there are a lot of issues within India. 

Getting groped, molested, harassed is bad. But so are acid attacks and rapes. 
I know because I’ve been raped, molested, groped and harassed. I’ve also had consensual sex with men and sometimes that was that and we never explored the step ahead. I know colleagues who have had to sleep with men. Sure it was for getting that promotion (which might have never come). But it was definitely consensual at the time she chose to sleep with him. Do you think she should sue him in, say, 10 years from now?
Do you think I should sue all the men and my boss for sexually abusing me? 
The abuse does leave scars but that is why I am in therapy. 

This movement will gain traction. Because none of the men will want to call out the hypocrisy of the women. Doing so will paint a target on their backs. 

Men I speak to are terrified. I know men who have started calling their exes (going back 15 years) just to apologise. They call it ‘I am sorry for hurting you and leading you on’. 
I call it Anticipatory Bail. 

Women on the other hand have got a new weapon. It’s an addition to a repertoire of tools that lakhs of women have used in the past. Case in point: Jasleen Kaur.
Thousands of estranged wives have abused Article 498A and the Domestic Violence Act to exact revenge on their men and his family for many many years.
This revolution is the newest tool in the hands of women who want to take down men. Either because the sex was bad or the outcome was not good enough. 

This movement couldn’t have come at a worse time. We don’t trust our banks, we can’t trust our politicians and now, we won’t trust the opposite sex. 

Women never had it easy in our country. We’ve had to fight for everything we wanted. 
And now, it will be a heck a lot harder.

But then it isn’t only the men who can do all this to women, right?
There are an equal number of ruthless women who do the same to men and other women. Raj was raped by men when he was a child. He was harassed at work by a woman too. 

Shouldn’t we treat crimes against another individual, whether male or female, equally? 
What’s happened to the practice of filing a lawsuit when a crime has happened?
What happens when the accuser is proven wrong? What happens to the person who she/he accused? 

So like I said, men are terrified. And if they’ve abused a woman in any way. They should be. This is the beginning of the end for them.

But women beware. Because if your allegations are false and if the men you accuse could get to the powerful positions they are right now, you can be sure as daylight follows darkness, you will be hunted down and made an example. And unlike Jasleen Kaur, you will not be spared. 
But if what you say is true, more power to you. File a lawsuit if you have enough evidence to back your allegation. Seek therapy for the wounds within. You’ll come through this stronger than ever.

In the meanwhile, the Courts should sit up and take notice. Or else this will be beginning of another sordid saga that will spiral into a social nightmare that will hurt both men and women in ways that we can’t conceive yet.



Friday, January 06, 2017

They want you to forget...

Just as we're digesting the copious quantities of grilled chicken (or whatever it is that vegetarians binge on) and booze, we have news of 'Rape Night' (aka New Year's eve) pouring in.

The media has done a superfragaliciously fantastic job of saying how Bangalore has become the 'Rape Night' capital of India. Politicians with the foot in mouth disease have been caught having their regular bouts of verbal diarrhea. 


Rape, sexual abuse, sodomy, molestation, outraging the modesty of a person. All words that used to shock our conscience and question the path of our society. Now, we barely twitch a nerve. 

This post isn't about my take on rape. This post, however, is about a pattern I've begun to notice.

  • Everytime something like this is reported (unreported crimes don't qualify for our fanciful outbursts), we have our frenzied mainstream media doing an awesome job spewing the usual rhetoric, shaping our opinions and branding our victims. The media instead of informing us, appoints itself as our collective conscience, jury, and executioner. 
  • Our law enforcement, which should have been the first on the scene, gets caught with its pants down (pun intended), fumbles, stumbles and launches a manhunt/investigation. Some of the more 'foot-in-mouth' diseased in the police brass will release a press statement objectifying women. 
  • Caught unawares, our politicians, for the intense need to remain relevant, will make a statement (insert random statement about 'short dresses/skirts/makeup/lifestyle) that will ruffle the manicured feathers of the Woman's Commission. 
  • The Woman's Commission will demand the resignation of the said police chief/politician. 
  • If the culprit is presumed influential, the cops will bungle up the investigation. Ditto if the victim is poor/not nicely connected/doesn't look like she will be a thorn in the butt in the future/won't make a movie out of the whole shebang. If none of the above, the cops will actually do some average cop-work and arrest the suspects. The media will serve you a hot juicy plate of the 'modus operandi' of the investigation. Down to the last chicken leg. 
  • Having read all of this, we - the 'shocked/dismayed yet concerned' citizens will sigh in relief and kick back on our cushioned recliners. All's well that ends well, eh? 

This is the way our media/politicians/law enforcement want. They are banking on our short-term memories about heinous crimes. When crimes like this are reported, it is but a speck in their eyes. An inconsequential bug in their windshields. Nearly all of the agencies involved will try to sneak a potshot at eachother. It's almost like some 40-year-old marriages. You know you hate eachother, but you still need eachother to survive. 
They will move heaven and earth to do just enough to satiate our thirst for salacious details but not enough to curb the crime. They want you to forget.

In an ideal world, the media must be gagged and prevented from whipping up mob justice. 
The media mustn't be allowed to spew opinions. 
Law enforcement should be motivated enough to do whatever it takes to solve crimes like this, and learn how from past crimes. They should let their work speak for themselves. 
Politicians should simply shut the fuck up. Period. 

India being India, we shouldn't expect cops to police (and not be corrupt). 

  • How many of you homeowners out here, will give a decent house to single women without setting a gazillion terms and conditions? 
  • How many of you parents know where your sons are, who they are with and what they are upto? 
  • How many of your parents have encouraged their daughters to learn self-defense courses like Krav Maaga? 
  • How many of you men out here will not give a second glance when you see a girl in skirt on the streets?
  • How many of you men out here will not download and watch scandalous MMS clips of girls being raped/filmed without their knowledge?
  • How many of you women out here know your rights and have reported crimes that happened to you/someone you know?
I have more questions that will make you squirm but you get the drift, right?

But then this is not endemic to India.
Barring the nordic region and a few countries in Europe, I doubt if women are any safer elsewhere. There are more unreported rapes in the West/Middle East/East than what they'd like us to believe. 
In Japan, young women are groped and raped in over-crowded trains on a daily basis. The crime is so popular that they even have a genre ('Rape Train Porn') for it.  
Underage rape is so popular in the US, that it is a billion dollar industry where young girls are dressed in bridal wear for their customers. Blacks and latinos aren't left out in the rape fantasy either. 
We wax eloquently about how strict rape laws are in the ME, but more women (with or without burqas) are raped every single day than in India. And if you have the gall to report, then you can be sure to be thrown in jail

Rape isn't an Indian thing. A lady isn't raped because she is wearing a particular outfit. Just because you don't hear it or see it, doesn't mean it isn't happening. 
In an earlier post, I'd written about how I think rapists must be punished - 
'I don't think hanging him/her will ever work. Death is too swift and too short for these monsters. I want a justice system that will put the guilty through the exact measure of trauma that the victims suffered. In the US, judges are allowed to decide the method and quorum of punishment, which has resulted in many curious verdicts that have both satisfied the victim and reformed the culprit, sometimes. I want rapists to suffer the shame, emotional and physical trauma and the untold agony of their victims. Why do we cover the faces of the guilty, when we love sharing the pictures (and names) of our victims? To rape is a horrible thing to do. And by sentencing them to the noose, aren't we letting them go easy? So this is what I propose - The guilty and his/her family must suffer the fullest extent of shame, their faces publicized, their financial credit ruined, their careers destroyed and be listed as a sex criminal and predator for the rest of their natural lives. Human rights? Unless you've been raped, you won't remotely understand why victims feel their predators don't deserve leniency.'
Men (and women) choose to rape only because they know the odds are stacked against the victim. They know they won't be caught and if they do, they know public memory of them will fade soon. Given the right representation in court, they will be walking free in a few weeks. 
They know they can change their names, move to a new city and start life all over again. 

Because they too want you to forget.

Recommended reading, if you'd like to read more...
Raped by my man
While you were gone... 
No Honor among thieves
Gutless
Acid Love
Good Job, folks!
3 Steps back
A New Low
Do Not Try This At Home
Chopping Block
Half


Thursday, February 19, 2015

Boys Do Cry!

This is one advt that deserves a standing ovation!



Sunday, March 09, 2014

Raped by My Man

Two decades ago, when I was raped by a man while vacationing in Kerala, I didn't know what I'd do.
My family didn't take it seriously and brushed it aside. They thought I was lying. 

I was raped twice after that. 

For many years since then, I lived with the abnormal fear and mistrust of strangers. I suffered at school - was bullied right through high school. I hated and tortured my body and held myself responsible for what some guy did to me. I craved for love, ended up in relationships that had no trust and it affected me in as many ways it would have affected a woman.

While my wounds have healed since then, when I hear about abuses against women, I question how much of that goes unreported.
For every rape outside of a relationship that does get reported, there are 100's of wives who are being raped by their husbands that goes under the radar.

The perpetrator will enjoy his 3 minutes of sexual domination and roll off to his side of the bed, and sleep.
Shocked, in pain and still trying to grasp what just happened, she isn't going to sleep tonight or for the next couple of nights either.
He may see the sadness of what she is going through next morning, and apologize. On his knees, maybe. Until she nods a half smile. Probably a special romantic dinner or a surprise gift hoping that she will have magically forgotten the brutality of his actions the night before.
The wife is now thoroughly confused. She knows that he loves her. He knows it wasn't a mistake. She hopes it won't happen again, and he now knows he can buy her silence. 
He now has a wife who he can play out his rape fantasies.
The wife won't 'snitch' on their otherwise picture-perfect marriage.
To save her husband's integrity? To save herself from ridicule and shame?
She won't snitch not because she refuses to believe the man who she once adored is now her pimp and her unpaying client.

Because she thinks he owns her by virtue of being married.
The husband deserves to ravage her body because she promised herself to be loyal and understanding through sickness and health until death do they part.

 
Because she hopes that this will pass? 'This could be just a 'one-off' '
Sure! Every crime is just a 'one-off' to its victim.
Of all the crimes we have perpetuated, sexual abuse is one that is the most brutal, most cowardly and yet the most invisible.


But then why would a husband want to rape his wife?
She is married to him after all. Isn't she?
He is probably the only man she will ever be intimate to, so why he want to turn something that should remain so sacred and intimate to something that will forever traumatize her?
Could it be a mistake or an error in judgement on the husband's part? I wonder why we don't do equally good things in error too - like pledge to donate your eye, or write your wealth to the truly poor and needy.


But aren't we the culprits?
Our parents, their parents and their parent's parents have always perpetuated the idea of a husband's sexual dominance within a marriage. Girls are supposed to be docile and mute and willing givers of sex anytime he desires. In a case of art imitating real life, there were a lot of South Indian movies in the last Century which would invariably have a scene where the husbands rape their wives, and the wife would put up with it because she is the Bharati Naari.
But then this is not just India. Across Asia and Africa, centuries of gender discrimination has conditioned women to believe they are always a pedestal lower than men.


Why we haven't passed legislation to encourage victims to report and discourage husbands from this, is beyond me.
Sure, homosexual sex can land you in jail but if you are raped by your man, the law looks away.


March 8th. International Women's day.
When we celebrate women so eloquently, we forget the millions who silently endure unspeakable pain and untold guilt.

Thankfully, times are changing and our women are growing up. When I hear of wives who came out of abusive marriages, I do a fist bump and I hope we hear of more women who will learn to stand up against abuse. Everywhere.

Sources: 

Domestic Violence against Women


Wednesday, May 29, 2013

While I was celebrating... May 2013 [2/2]

It was a month where we saw an unabashed love for money and power.
IPL, the flavor of the month went through the regular wash cycles of scam and scandals, and you can bet (pun intended) your shorts that none of those arrested will ever be punished. Our greed knows no bounds and we simply don't have the legislation or the balls to punish the scum of our sports.

Finally!

In the finals, CSK went down without a whimper. It was a win-win. 

Indians could finally retire the god of cricket, when we dedicated another win to him. And foolhardy CSK fans felt vindicated that its captain faced defeat like a grown man. Well, what did he expect? A medal? 
We shouldn't expect the VP of India Cements Inc. to squeal against his boss, or should we? 

As the skeletons tumbled out, a 'Bollywood star' found his spotlight of glory. Vindu Dara Singh sang like a canary and we had more drama than the 'Bold and the Beautiful'.


They say hindsight is 20/20, so with what we now know about CSK's shadowy CEO/team owner/team principal/odd-job guy, is it anybody's guess how the team always reached the finals even with many mediocre matches. BCCI head honcho/CSK Managing Director N. Srinivasan refused to step down. No surprises there either. 

In happier times

Sreeshanth is small fry and is just that village boy whose eyes lit up when he saw the big city lights, but his Company tells another story. From being called the Kerala Express and revered in God's Own Country, his fall from grace was faster than his bowling spells. We could argue till we are blue in the gills, but as long as we still buy tickets and throng cricket stadiums, corruption in cricket can not be contained.

Angelina Jolie replaced her sagging mammaries with ones that came with a warranty and we all celebrated her unselfish act. So does this mean we replace everything that could go wrong before it does and say we did it for mankind?


What does surprise me is why a successful A-lister like Piggy Chops have to resort to doing item numbers in random movies! I'll let you figure that out.
Meanwhile, banks have managed to recover about Rs 1000 crore from Kingfisher. Seeing how Malya was smart enough to not pledge sufficient collateral, I'd be surprised if the banks recover even half of what he owes them.

The boston bomber got no grave and if it wasn't serious already, we now have a new sexually transmitted superbug that is deadlier than AIDS.
Choli ke peche..

The Chinese premier came and we played dumb (charades). Later, we cleaned up after they left.

Sanjayda felt betrayed. Really?! After we allowed you move into the jail like a techie was moving into a new hostel room. If anything, we all think the court should've thrown you into prison years ago and made an example out of you.

Talking about cops and prisons, we saw 2 Indian cops beat the living crap out of eachother in broad daylight. It was almost like two knights dueling eachother. To the victor, the spoils of fame.

The Sharada chit fund made plenty of news. From sex  workers to other bankers, it looks like they looted everyone. Hook, line and Stinker. In familiar news, an Indian couple was apprehended for duping several banks and financial institutions for millions of rupees. 


Our fledgling financial outsourcing industry took a beating when perpetrators withdrew about $45 million after hacking into secure terminals.
While this might lead to more dumb regulations and restrictions, what I fear is how all this will affect genuine customers.

Our national bird, CBI was hauled through the coals again. And our Navy fought a losing battle against itself. Our insatiable thirst for forbidden sex is indeed proving to be the bane of our existence both here and across the pond.

Pakistan did the unthinkable. It demanded an international probe on the incident and we did a Pakistan - Shift+DELETE

Nothing Official about it!

Meanwhile, BJP lampooned the government (read Sonia G) for making the PM a mere puppet. It took our leading opposition 9 years to say that?
Rahul resorted to some petty threats. So what is he? The school Prefect?
A minister from Down Under was left red-faced after he 'liked' a picture of a young teen mooning himself. And while you are on facebook, 'like' at your discretion but post anything you want, for the apex court of the country has spoken. Take note, Shiv Sena scum. But bloggers, Beware! You could still land in prison.


The public sector in India is funny. As millions of graduates struggle, we have murderers, rapists and spies have no problem finding favor and employment at public sector organizations. Latest from the realm of Incredible Indian opportunities, is the news that a man was found spying for Pakistan while working in the Army. Background checks ring a bell here?

In an innovation that might benefit humanity, an Indian teen invented a 20 second battery charger. This could be the biggest invention since the wheel.

In Weird News of the Month, Sherlyn Chopra showed off her black chuddies and buddy Mallika Sherawat had the usual bout of chronic verbal diarrhea. Her interview was a verbal equivalent of an Indian landfill after a rain. Where are the culture police when we need them

Queen of sewer talk

Elsewhere, a man 'demaned' himself and we found out that  pigs that taste better when they are high.

Former South Korean model Hang Mioku, is a testament to our pursuit of vanity. Big Mistake!
Like a dog returning to its vomit, iGate's Phaneesh Murthy was fired for sexual impropriety and misconduct. Deja Vu`. He cried coarse. Heck, he could be innocent too. But surely, he could've been smarter than to crap on the plate he eats from.


Husbands and mother-in-laws, Beware! Those suicide threats could come true. And if you are a man who likes to keep his wife's privates private, you've just scored the 'Go to Jail' card. Congratulations!


The Mango People spoke about The Mango People's Party. Question is, are they listening?
Google Glass made news. And I've got 2 words - More Porn.
Indian students celebrated when CBSE announced their results and Comedy Central ran foul with the foolish folks at the Centre. 

Maoists killed yet another  victim and Congress began frothing at the mouth. 
Dabbawallas ran, Amway is on its way out and so is Ram Jethmalani.

As the cycle of life shifts gear, we are halfway through this wonderful year. Sit back and enjoy!


Monday, April 22, 2013

While I was gone... Part 2/3 [April 2013]

Violence in prison is not a bedtime story. While there is no honor among thieves, prisoners live by an unspoken code of conduct. Politicians and Bollywood bad boys enjoy the premium cuts, rapists and mass murderers fall at the very bottom of the food chain here.

The past week saw another Delhi-16 rapist/animal experience the hospitality at Tihar. Fellow prisoners broke the arm of the bastard who starred in the most publicized gang rape in modern India. While I'll elect to send this bastard back to his misery, Indian women aren't celebrating yet. Any surprise why?
Men continued to abduct, rape and torture. Not necessarily in that order. Age no bar. Mental condition no bar. Bar no bar. Our women continued to be gang raped and depending on how many parts of their body needed to sewn up, our rapists would have raped atleast 2 children and 10 women by the time you've finished reading this post.

When we heard the gory details of December 16, we cringed. Misogynous men and certain women claimed it was because of the dress the women wear and the way they tempt. They theorized it is physically impossible to rape if the girl does not cooperate. Not so! We said. Technically, it would have made sense. But how can a girl keep her chastity safe when she is being spread apart by men with a singular mission to 'cover the face, f*ck the base and forget the case'. And so we cringe every time we read a lady is abducted and gang raped

But how do you explain when men rape children as young as 4 years old? What is the pleasure that these mother f*ckers get when they penetrate and destroy a defenseless child
How did that child tempt you?
Who do you trust your children with anymore?
More importantly, can the victims ever live a healthy life ever again?


Our politicians have the uncanny talent of churning out scams and scandals so fast that rapes and atrocities against women and children are mere commercial breaks before the next billion dollar scam. Indians in India might be forgiven for letting them off the hook but not our foreign minister

And in related rape news, Dharampal who raped and then mercilessly killed the victim and her family while on parole will be hanged. Way to go, Prez!
Another tourist was raped and killed. Thankfully, not by a lecherous, sex-starved, repressed Indian male but by another tourist who was caught fleeing. That's fodder for another episode of Banged Up Abroad!


And if you wondered why victims haven't been reporting crimes as often as they should, the ordeal a 10 year old faced when she approached the cops must convince you why we have such dismal numbers. 

Self defense doesn't work either. 

So while we are grappling with the sudden media spurt of gang rapes in India, in the good ol United States of America, girls as young as 12 will have access to 'morning-after' pills. Well, if they can't beat it, might as well celebrate it. While women's groups are hailing this landmark judgement, I can't fathom why young girls must be expected/allowed to have sex and why young boys/men must be expected/allowed to impregnate girls this young.
A recent survey revealed 60% of 8 - 12 year olds in the US have STDs. I am sure their parents are a proud lot.

An ex-Thomson Reuters employee sued his former employer over alleged discriminatory practices. Having worked in the company myself, I'd say this is not the only instance of discrimination that I've seen within. Corporate bullying, unethical managerial practices and undue favoritism are just some of the regular sins but I've said enough already. 


Tax evasion by major companies saw the Income Tax department breathing down their collars.

Death is all around us and strangely the DoT (Department of Telecom) just woke up to the realization that they should not be installing high-powered cell phone towers near residential areas. While this can be rude awakening to the risks it poses, I don't see anything changing. The DoT will continue to allow mobile operators with deep pockets to install towers in and around densely populated cities and town in India. Who cares?

It was a fortnight of famous deaths too. The Iron Lady passed away and United Kingdom was not so united after all. 

Robert Edwards, pioneer of IVF died after a long illness. Besides providing a way to procreate, he also made it possible for millions of Vicky donors around the world.

Savitha's inquest dug up a whole lot of muck and religious goo. At the end of it, I doubt if Ireland will change their laws for the sake of one dead pregnant Asian.

From car-chases, it appears that Americans have suddenly acquired a taste for guns.
In Georgia and Boston.

The United Axis of Evil delayed a missile test to avoid pushing the North Koreans over the edge. Gee! And they just realized that now?!
Thankfully, China - America's moneylender - has promised to talk to the lil Kim on a peaceful solution. Why the Americans didn't restrain themselves in the first place baffles me.



America is a funny nation.
They are neck deep in debt. Nine out of ten families live hand to mouth, millions don't have jobs or houses, nearly all of them live their entire lives on credit cards and yet they will spend trillions of dollars in military and financial aid. To add sauce to our kachori, they even increased the amount of aid they will provide to Pakistan. Yet inspite of all this, Pakistan will still remain one of the poorest countries in the planet.  Just incredible, I say!
So while your relative/friend is working their capitalist butt off in the US, you can be sure his/her tax dollars will end up fattening the next Pakistani ruler's wallet.

Talking about Pakistan, Mush came like a knight in shining armor, only to get stuck, caught and strung! The man clearly has the combined IQ of a hair comb.

Some unexpected money for Malya Senior, as he won a settlement of Rs 1.5 crore. For a man as wealthy as he is, this loose change would be enough to fuel his exotic car collection but not enough to restart his sick airline.

Hairy Baba cast his vote for the BJP. With the deluge of support for the BJP, the coming elections are looking more lopsided than any in recent history. While I don't support the countless good PR that Modi has been getting on facebook and else, if Modi is half as good as the millions say he is, then we are all in for the ride of our lives.

Some welcome news when our Pradan Mantri proposed to scrap the rule where judges get to pick their successors. Long overdue, this change I'll say. Because the recent plethora of inane and silly laws did point to a rot at its roots. 


A member of the SEAL team that captured and killed Osama was allowed to testify why he sent confidential documents to Wikileaks. His motive was simple- To expose the American military's "bloodlust" and disregard for human life in Iraq and Afghanistan. And I thought that fact was adequately established. How naive of me!

In the past many weeks and in many parts of India, thousands of people have lost their homes. No, its not because they defaulted on loans, but because the government knows it is more convenient to displace them than to disappoint construction moguls in search of prime land. Spare a few minutes and sign the petition.

No Sunny, no. We don't want vulgarity in our songs. We just want to see you gyrate and moan in absolute ecstasy. And so we were promised that there is nothing in any of her songs. Good



Didi came, she walked, she whimpered back. I've said this many times before and I'll say it again. She is the political equivalent of Rakhi Sawant - loud and uncouth. Maybe she should change track and take some lessons from Nitish.
It looks like the former CJI Katju forgot his medication, again. This time he wants the Prez to pardon Bhullar. Why the senile old man won't give up baffles millions. I have one word for you - Bengay!

Sreeshanth: Cry baby.
..and a baby who will make you cry.

I have friends and relatives working in Infosys. Until a couple of years ago, a job there would have meant you've arrived in your career. Settled. Time to get married, buy a house, sell your stocks and retire in peace.
Not any longer. Infosys's fall from glory is a lesson in corporate money management. Infosys lost much of its shine and so did Gold.

A Boeing 737 overshot the runway and landed at sea. Human error or equipment failure, what is appalling is how most of the passengers didn't remember how to deploy the life jackets during emergency. So much for those safety lessons after boarding.

So it's proven that we love lists. In the past fortnight, we had Mila Kunis top the list of the '10 most f*ckable celebrities'. But honestly, why would we need to know that?! Are any of those who voted going to get a chance at it? You wish!
And while Hollywood would love such tags, our desi actresses who gyrate half-naked wonder aloud why the sexy tag has stuck


Another politician got his ugly over-sized feet in his mouth. He repented. Welcome to the club!
After Katju helpfully pointed out how we vote like much cattle, Jairam Ramesh, added substance to what we've been suspecting for a long time - We don't choose our leaders for their intellect. Gee! You really think so!

Online, there was much excitement and argument.
Psy released his second video - Gentleman. It sounds (and looks) like a sequel that pokes fun at his country(wo)men. By the time, you've read this post, the video would've got another 100,000 likes. Personally, I think this video lacks the punch its predecessor had but hey! those pelvic thrusts are way easier to copy and spoof.


A video that did cause a lot of uproar was of a pair of (under-aged) Keralite kids whose over indulgent parents allowed to take their million dollar Ferrari and Land Rover Vogue out for a quick spin.
While you can clearly hear how the kids have made their parents mighty proud by their driving skills, I wonder why the cops have not made an example by arresting the kids and their wealthy parents. Obviously, they might have 'bought off' every minister and cop in a 100 km radius but it is parents like these that result in a nation where children don't know the difference between what is right and what is wrong. I shudder to think how many times and what else these parents have allowed their children to do what is wrong from any angle and every culture.

Natural disasters turned many parts of the world into a pile of rubble - Iran, China.

In all that has been happening in India over the past several months, this is clear - What nature left untouched, we succeeded in destroying. As news of how in-laws of a bride destroyed a two month old fetus because she didn't bring in enough dowry, the officials sprung into action. We all like to say how dowry is evil publicly, but behind closed doors the girl is sold pound for fair-skinned pound. 

About 2 years ago, when I was about to marry my then girlfriend, my mom and relatives lectured me on how it is suitable for me to expect and demand dowry from my 'to be' in-laws. On our engagement, I was again 'counseled' by my mom first and several of my 'aunts' on how dowry is necessary so that the girl's family will be held in high prestige because they gave a sizable dowry. Not that my family needed the money. I was appalled. I refused.
This is quite the predicament for any Indian man when he refuses to accept dowry for the right reasons.
You could be a political prisoner or a prisoner of your principles. Our human rights record is not something we can be proud of either.

The Sanjay Dutt mega serial continued. Why must we even negotiate anymore? Can't we see that Munnabhai actually has no intention of going without a fight? If you ask me, the Court should've just picked him up and thrown him into prison 3 weeks ago. What we got instead is 4 more weeks of this drama. Argh!

About a year ago, Samsung lost a high profile patent case in the US, it is back in the news again. For all the wrong reasons, apparently. Clearly, business ethics were given the smack-down.


Bangalore went Bang Galore!
When an IED exploded near the local office of the BJP, everybody ran like headless chicken. Foot-in-mouth politicians had their own colorful theories and we all had a good chuckle. Even as I write this post, there hasn't been a single arrest though there has been plenty of clues.
Boston -1. Bangalore - 0


And that's the way the cookie crumbles!


Wednesday, April 10, 2013

While I was gone... Part 1/3 [April 2013]

You've got to admit it - the last 10 days have been as colorful as India could be on Holi.
Journalism is a strange bed-fellow. Virile, youngish men and women burn their midnight oil to write utter garbage.
But this I say 'Journos, we are no longer shocked by anything that Indian men will and can do. Atleast not after the litany of "brutal" crimes against women since December 16, 2012. We know Indian men will do everything (in)humanly possible to any women they can lay their eyes on. We cried 'No More' and we got more'.

But I will make a difference. I will not talk about how a dozen young men forced themselves into the house of a 21 year old lady, and beat her family up. Nor will I talk about how 2 minors were confined and raped. or how a man raped his own aunt over a property issue.
But this I will say, for all you girls who were wooed by young men with raging hormones, don't break up with them or you may get kidnapped, raped, tortured and even splashed with some acid of choice. This advice is also for men who could get raped like this poor fellow.
There begins a lifetime of therapy.

While the victims are sentenced to a lifetime of shame and pain, the accused will be treated and feted by our tax rupees.
Isn't it strange how the accused always threatens the victim(s) of 'dire consequences' if reported to the police. Isn't getting abused and violated, dire consequences of being a women in itself?

More food for thought - What can men who throw acid on women possibly gain? While I won't fight for Death to rapists, I will definitely lobby death for acid-throwers. About 90% of the rapes in India happen at the spur of the moment. Not too many rapes are elaborately planned or premeditated. While this won't absolve them of their crime, killing them is far too easy a punishment. On the other hand, men who throw acid in retaliation plan their crimes in great detail. They are aware of what acid can do to human flesh and do it to put 'her in her place'. They want to destroy her. They want to 'teach her a lesson'. What lesson are we ready to teach the two unidentified men who threw acid on 4 sisters?
At the other end of the spectrum, a brave victim at Patna delivered justice to her rapist. While I laud her courage and determination to do this, I wouldn't want the people to take the law in their hands. An eye for an eye will only make the world blind. We need to resuscitate our justice system and we shouldn't rest until she is up.

Last year, couple of legislators with plenty of time on their hands decided to check out mankind's best reason to use the internet, and the nation erupted. While the country has been strangely bereft of any sex scandals (of the consensual, non-violent kind) one young BJP legislator in the southern State of Karnataka decided to end the drought of no sex. While I haven't seen the hidden sex video yet, I wouldn't hold my breath either. Naked hairy Indian men are no fun to watch.

Last month, it was Cadbury. This time, it was Nokia. Looks like our IT dept just put up the 'Hunting Season' boards.


In 'End of the World' news, North Korea rattled with rhetoric. Russia and China, one time allies of the war-torn economy, warned the West against pushing Korea's buttons. The strange thing about rhetoric like this neither the US nor the Koreans will survive a full blown nuclear war. Korea can move their missiles any bloody way they please, but the truth is no one likes the barrel of the gun pointing at them.

Over the course of the last 10 days, it has shut down its only link with the South and has forced foreign embassies out. Did someone say Chernobyl? Gee! You think so! 

The pattern is evident.
The Americans who are daring the Koreans to fire the first missile have themselves invaded and devastated economies when it profited them. Case in point- Iraq, Afghanistan. No one found any evidence of the 'weapons of mass destruction'. Instead what they left behind was an economy in tatters. Am amazed at how the Americans now think that only the Koreans are engaged in bellicose rhetoric yet have indulged in plenty of bellicose rhetoric themselves. No ones the wiser.
The North Koreans have, on the other hand, had cozy alliances with countries that have been selling nukes for the right price. For all that we know, the Koreans may have a missile that could wipe off South Korea, Japan and the East Coast but lets hope the 'experts' are right when they say 'the Koreans can't possibly have nukes or the weapon systems'.

Financially and otherwise, a war between the two could suck the whole world in. For the Americans, this could be Vietnam 2.0 and for the rest of us - the end of human civilization as we know it. The Koreans aren't exactly looking at winning this war, but to just prove a point. What surprises me is not how the North has been behaving but how US has been cornering them. Despite their treaties, the Americans and the South Koreans have been taunting them with war exercises in the years since. The war cries don't seem to die and I have the funny feeling that we are headed towards the plunging end of a waterfall. Any last wishes?

The Indian Army announced an 'ambitious' programme to upgrade its entire fleet of 2000 infantry combat vehicles plus equipment. Rough 'back of the envelope' calculations brings the cost of such a massive upgrade to a couple of trillion greenbacks. Russians, Europeans and the Americans can now wipe the drool of their chins. Here comes another gazillion dollar scandal.
Maybe we should have privatized our Army and let our companies equip them. Atleast that's how our young IT companies have been arming our Maoists. Do the people who run these companies have any conscience?

The desi version of CIA, NIA announced with much fanfare that it was going to probe and punish the Italian marines. Italy twitched. I can almost hear the phones ringing at #7 Race Course. Sonia, where's your patriotic duty?!

Cyprus is sinking, but in a glimmer of rare hope thousands of prisoners donated their savings to help keep a voluntary clinic open.

Our lawmakers can probably take a clue or two from Washington when it put 2 fifth graders on trial for a foiled attempt in raping and killing a female classmate. They stand trial as juveniles. No ugly marches, no candle-light vigils and no 'castrate/hang the bastards' placards. What divides us from US, is how they trust the law to take its course.

India switched itself to Poll Mode, with BJP and Congress announcing their lists of candidates. In the next couple of weeks and months, we will get to hear of liberal dollops of freebies in the Indian version of the 'Joy of Giving'.
After his hectic 'Free Sanju' campaign Katju, helpfully pointed out how 90% of Indians vote on caste lines, like cattle and sheep. Well, what's wrong with cattle and sheep? Don't we travel cattle-class already?

Kerala, God's Own Country, continued to be in the spotlight after one of its more colorful State Minister was charged of domestic abuse, adultery and everything that his wife could possibly think of. What followed provided fodder for an entire society that has been fed on sleazy soap opera dramas.

While we are allowed to watch Sex and the City, watch what you tweet. Your David Dhawanisque joke could land you on your butt.

Big blow for big Pharma. Indians can now afford to get cancer after the country's apex court struck down a lengthy patent battle for Novartis AG's cancer drug Glivec

Uncle Sam wasn't happy about this.
Pope washed the sinner's feet, and raised the eyebrows of conservatives and orthodox Catholics around the world. 
Malya came, he tried, he lost. The flamboyant liquor baron lost another battle to stop his creditors from selling his crown jewels.
While our economy is in doldrums, we can rest assured that our apex bank is secure. A Keralite was arrested and detained for trying to enter the Reserve Bank of India. All this for publicity. What a Loser! Doesn't he know Poonam at all?

Yesteryear actress and all-round hottie Manisha Koirala is still the really beautiful lady that she was. She is back! No catchphrases, no ads, no tacky wristbands. Only sheer grit and determination. You go girl!


So while Mrs Koirala has been finding work and doing better, another Bollywood actor has been bed-ridden and forgotten. May we beg of your largesse here, please?
In other Bollywood news, Sanjay Dutt had a change of mind after his tearful PR exercise and filed a review petition. Bollywood and even a former Supreme Court justice threw their collective weight around the 'Free Sanjay' circus trailer.

I want you all to take a good long look at this- This is what ails India.
In a country that has been plagued with terrorism since its Independence, when its highest legal authority passes a verdict that is beyond review, what makes influential people think they can campaign for freedom and arm-twist the government (and the court) to reverse it? Is the justice system different for the common man and for those in the limelight? Dutt deserves to go to prison if for what he has done. Lesser mortals are thrown into prison for lesser crimes. Ignorance of the law is not an excuse. Not for me, not for you, definitely not for Mr Dutt.

India's poster boy for Boxing faced the music and had to give some of his hair and blood samples.  People in sport denying doping allegations are becoming old. I think we need sportspeople who will dope and then admit it. That would be something new and refreshing. See, in about a few years from now, Vijender will fail a dope test and then admit taking drugs. So why not save us all the drama, confess and join Bollywood.

Bad news for criminals starting this year.. our President, Judge and Executioner in Chief Mr Pranab Mukherjee had a busy day signing, and we all got a new Criminal law. So, unless you really want to live in prison for a long time, either get into politics or get a new career. And oh yeah. Stop whipping your d*ck out because he also signed a new anti-rape law.

For Obama, From Australia. With Love.


So until I'm back with more wonderful news of the incredible times we live in, here's some pearls of wisdom:
Women- Please electrify your undies.
Indian Men- err.. Nevermind.


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