Showing posts with label United States of America. Show all posts
Showing posts with label United States of America. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

We, The Hypocrites!

These are interesting times we live in. 
Two things happened. Yes, three things I will never understand. 

First, the oldest democracy in the world allowed 2 of the worst people to campaign for their most powerful political position. 

Hillary Clinton, probably the most corrupt woman politician in the Western hemisphere, campaigned and lost against a first-time politician Donald J Trump. The Trump wasn't even taken seriously in an election that had candidates like Ben Carson (surely, they jest) and Bernie Sanders (who is still feeling the bern).

Midway through the elections, around the time, the rest dropped out, I realized that America was doomed. I kept predicting how Trump would win partly because I knew of the power of 'memory-recall' with all the free media attention (bashing) he was getting. He also had the money to bankroll his victory in swing States, much like Bush Jr. The Donald said things most people were itching to hear but didn't have the balls to say. He wasn't a typical
politician programmed to be politically correct. He was raw, uninhibited and didn't have much to lose. He was already using his donor's money to settle his legal disputes and anything else he got was going to stay with him. Trump is a powerful orator, not in the same polished league as Obama, but effective nonetheless. The upcoming First Lady not so much, but who gives a dump?

Trump never lied about his misadventures and rarely apologized for what he was. If you've watched the Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump, you'll realize how the man is actually capable of taking much and giving it back in the same way.

Hillary, on the other hand, was at best a deceptive politician. Like her husband a couple of years ago, she flip-flopped. Period. If you take away the gender card that she (and her supporters) was playing, you'll realize she tried every dirty trick in the book to trip Trump. 
She kept giving excuses for the email server booboo. How can a Secretary of State of the most technologically-advanced nation not know how to use the official email system. How could she use the same server her husband would have used? If you know what I mean. 
She got people who Trump slighted to fire salvos from her shoulder. He is guilty, but trying to play the 'holier than thou' trick was dirty. 

The US Presidential Elections 2016 was perhaps that event in political history that will be remembered for many many decades to come. It's that point in history where 'The Superpower' that was famous for bringing democracy to the rest of the world slipped, tripped and came landing on its crown. They'll never know how bad it is until it's too late. It's that time when we all asked 'So you could only get these 2 guys out of a few 100 million to replace Obama?!!! WOW'. It's that political event that made the greatest nation on earth the laughing stock of the universe. 

No matter who was finally voted, it was going to be downhill from here. And now that you have rocked the vote, you better shut the eff up and learn to either live with it or figure the best way out. You can't pretend to not know this was how it was going to happen. I am pretty sure, we would've seen similar outrage and indignation if Mrs Clinton was voted to power. 
It's the End of the World, as we know it. 
********************************************************************************** Talking about the end of something, back in India, Prime Minister Modi declared 2 of the highest paper currency denominations invalid and all hell broke lose. What followed revealed the people that we are. There were mile-long queues at each (functioning) ATM and bank branch. Tempers flared as cash stockpiles vanished and anarchists took over spreading disinformation, and rumors. There are thousands of people (including the PM) saying how we should just grin and bear it for the sake of the greater good and this is but a temporary setback and then there are thousands who say this was a terribly timed, ill-planned move. The arguments from both the camps are quite compelling and that's the beauty of the freedom of speech. 
What I can't understand is why the panic? 
It wasn't like we didn't have debit and credit cards that we couldn't use. 
It isn't like we don't use the internet to buy things anyway. 
It isn't like we didn't pay bills online anyway. 
It isn't like we didn't have time until the 31 of March 2017. We did.

But like it is typical for us, 'we rushed with the rope and water as soon as we heard the bull was giving birth', the nation panicked and ran to our banks and then when things didn't go to the best of our satisfaction, we complained. When we did manage to get our hands on those new currency notes, we took a selfie and posted it online to gloat and dissect the design. Which reminds me, the way we love to scribble stuff on our currency, no matter how beautiful our bank notes are, the designs are a moo point.

Now, I am from neither camp. I am no fan of Modi because I have had the privilege of having seen a lot more world politics in societies that are better coordinated and motivated than ours. I know what Modi is doing right with his many travels abroad, is what our elected and business leaders should have done 60 years ago. When we have a nation of people who know how to debate endlessly on national television without knowing how important international trade (free trade agreement) is to a country's growth, then we know we have a nation of dumb-fu@ks. But I digress.

I do believe we need to delete corruption from our society. The sooner, the better.  But to achieve that, we need a radical improvement of how we think and perform at the grassroots. 

If this is so much of a speck in your eye, why don't you just transact online? Why can't we have a law which mandates every transaction over ₹25,000 to be done online? Why are we so militantly resistant about going cashless? 
Here's why - 

  • Because none of us will ever abide by all the laws and rules, if we know we can get away with it. Honesty and integrity is best defined as doing the right thing when you know no one's watching. 
  • Because none of us will ever refuse to bribe when a need and the opportunity arrives. And when we do earn our money in ways other than legal, we aren't going to keep them in INR. We stash them away as luxury apartments, Mercs, Beemers, gold, diamonds, and US$. Doh! 

We will continue to see posts of Modi-haters complaining about how this 'demonetization' is 'Modi's demonization of India' while the rival camp will gloat about how much this helped our economy. 
Most people, however, will say this should have been done with minimal discomfort. Sure, this attitude is exactly why generations of politicians and businessmen have managed to siphon off trillions of dollars right underneath our noses and out of the economy. We'd prefer that our lives are as pain-free as possible. This is exactly why we are still a developing nation almost 20 years behind countries like Singapore and Japan. 

It wasn't like he didn't say he was going to go tough on black-marketers. Modi promises more such changes to mop up every illegal rupee you earned, and seeing as he has delivered so far, it will bode well that you follow instructions and surrender because unlike in the US, he is here for the long haul. Ain't no term-limit here, Sahib.

Circa 2016
United States of America : Split wide open at the center because their citizens got fed up with politicians who thought they could get away with anything. Decades of white supremacy rhetoric has finally yielded its rich crop of hate. Fu@k 'Em!

India: A Hindu nation with a visionary head of government who wants to single-handedly gallop, hoping to change the way the rest of us behave and think. The only problem is  - He is trying to do in 5 years what Gandhi took decades to do. It will take us a few generations to change but we will get here. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Yes, with some exceptions we are possibly the only species who can think intelligently, speak rationally and still manage to bastardize the system.


Saturday, July 13, 2013

While you were away : July 2013 (Part 1 of 3)

The past week saw much chatter.

Uncle Sam grew restless as Vladimir's Russia kept its best poker face.
Neither US nor Russia can afford sparking a conflict that will end the human race. So while Snowden is living out his 'Terminal' life, we can only hope that everyone goes home happy.
The Americans proved just how diplomatically powerful it is when as many as 21 countries said 'No thank you' to his asylum requests. Although he did manage to get proposed !!!


Why he didn't just walk into an Ecuadorian Embassy in the US just baffles me. Maybe, he should have just gone to Pakistan. The only place on earth where the scum of the universe can live undetected. Or maybe he can walk out wearing a cowboy hat and no one will notice ?

Enter Sir Ravindra Jadeja
'Pick someone of your own size, Uncle Sam'.

And talking about picking up fights, I've gotta hand it to Modi. His remark made me think to myself - 'No, it wasn't a car running over a puppy, it was more like a truck running over roadkill.' 

Future Mrs Snowden?
Well, atleast he is consistent; in that he does not want to apologize. How many of you have the feeling of deja-vu?! The many south Indians that I've spoken to are already dreading the way India will do an Asiana Airlines in a few months or when Modi comes to power (whichever is earlier).

Got problems getting an ID card? You can maybe pick a clue from 'Jack and Jane Doe' who had 20.


Eminem came full circle. After rapping lyrics that smacked of violence and sexism during his active singing career, he now faces the prospect of having his daughter date a young man who was brought up listening to his music. Maybe we should send him a framed placard with the 8 simple rules but I still think Eminem is a wonderful person. Having been through all that he did, he still gave a good life to his daughter. Not something many others in showbiz can claim credit to. Full marks for that!

I'm just waiting to see how Kim is going to raise her child. Looking at her glorious track record at the relationship department, it's true when they say Kim and a door knob are alike. They all get a turn. But I'll still finish this post faster than Kim's marriage.

Back home, Congress managed to push the Food Bill. No, it's not the kind of bill you dread paying at that overly exorbitant hotel, but the Food Act. Its obvious Congress is burning the midnight oil before the 12th standard board exams, but its worth a shot, eh?!

The Rupee did the whoopee and started pinching everyone. Well, the good news is you may still be able to buy the Nano.
The SC reached puberty and kicked the politicians where it hurt the most. It ruled that a conviction will disqualify a politician from public office. Next week: IQ.

Nature struck. Again. No surprises. Soon, we'll hear of more disaster relief fund requests, if you know what I mean.
Egypt plunged into crisis. Standing ovation to their persistence.
It will take us several decades to get to where the Egyptians are today.
We are too complacent to fight. Too comfortable to bother. Too numb to move.

Thirteen bombs went off at Mahabodhi. Why do we allow this to repeat? For answer, refer to paragraph above

Our politicians will repeat their rhetoric. We will bring our placards out. In a few weeks, we'll all have new things to worry about.

Andy Murray struck gold. And so did our athletes. With nine medals, we stood sixth! The expression - One in a billion -  is SO true!

Eight months after Jyothi died, the juve who was the most cruel will be sentenced. Now, I don't know what the family is going through but this I know - Whatever verdict the court gives cannot and will not extinguish the torment nor wipe away the stain of his crime. Not in this life, nor in the afterlife.
Our men notched up a few more gang-rapes, as usual. 


eCommerce got a fillip as Flipkart got a $300 million top-up from its investors. Let's hope they were right on the money.

The past week also saw some really thought-provoking movies - The best of which was the intense biopic 'Bhaag Milkha Bhaag'. One movie that I will want to watch and review on my blog soon.


And for those nostalgic about their college days, you have 'Sixteen'. Maybe I could convince myself to watch that too?

And if you think it was not possible, our industrial production shrunk by 1.6% !! I'll let you marinate in that thought.

Malala spoke. The world sat up and listened. How a selfless child like that survived all this while in a God-forsaken country like Pakistan is a miracle in itself. Malala is proof that humanity is not a lost cause.

I've got dibs on the front seat.


Monday, April 22, 2013

While I was gone... Part 2/3 [April 2013]

Violence in prison is not a bedtime story. While there is no honor among thieves, prisoners live by an unspoken code of conduct. Politicians and Bollywood bad boys enjoy the premium cuts, rapists and mass murderers fall at the very bottom of the food chain here.

The past week saw another Delhi-16 rapist/animal experience the hospitality at Tihar. Fellow prisoners broke the arm of the bastard who starred in the most publicized gang rape in modern India. While I'll elect to send this bastard back to his misery, Indian women aren't celebrating yet. Any surprise why?
Men continued to abduct, rape and torture. Not necessarily in that order. Age no bar. Mental condition no bar. Bar no bar. Our women continued to be gang raped and depending on how many parts of their body needed to sewn up, our rapists would have raped atleast 2 children and 10 women by the time you've finished reading this post.

When we heard the gory details of December 16, we cringed. Misogynous men and certain women claimed it was because of the dress the women wear and the way they tempt. They theorized it is physically impossible to rape if the girl does not cooperate. Not so! We said. Technically, it would have made sense. But how can a girl keep her chastity safe when she is being spread apart by men with a singular mission to 'cover the face, f*ck the base and forget the case'. And so we cringe every time we read a lady is abducted and gang raped

But how do you explain when men rape children as young as 4 years old? What is the pleasure that these mother f*ckers get when they penetrate and destroy a defenseless child
How did that child tempt you?
Who do you trust your children with anymore?
More importantly, can the victims ever live a healthy life ever again?


Our politicians have the uncanny talent of churning out scams and scandals so fast that rapes and atrocities against women and children are mere commercial breaks before the next billion dollar scam. Indians in India might be forgiven for letting them off the hook but not our foreign minister

And in related rape news, Dharampal who raped and then mercilessly killed the victim and her family while on parole will be hanged. Way to go, Prez!
Another tourist was raped and killed. Thankfully, not by a lecherous, sex-starved, repressed Indian male but by another tourist who was caught fleeing. That's fodder for another episode of Banged Up Abroad!


And if you wondered why victims haven't been reporting crimes as often as they should, the ordeal a 10 year old faced when she approached the cops must convince you why we have such dismal numbers. 

Self defense doesn't work either. 

So while we are grappling with the sudden media spurt of gang rapes in India, in the good ol United States of America, girls as young as 12 will have access to 'morning-after' pills. Well, if they can't beat it, might as well celebrate it. While women's groups are hailing this landmark judgement, I can't fathom why young girls must be expected/allowed to have sex and why young boys/men must be expected/allowed to impregnate girls this young.
A recent survey revealed 60% of 8 - 12 year olds in the US have STDs. I am sure their parents are a proud lot.

An ex-Thomson Reuters employee sued his former employer over alleged discriminatory practices. Having worked in the company myself, I'd say this is not the only instance of discrimination that I've seen within. Corporate bullying, unethical managerial practices and undue favoritism are just some of the regular sins but I've said enough already. 


Tax evasion by major companies saw the Income Tax department breathing down their collars.

Death is all around us and strangely the DoT (Department of Telecom) just woke up to the realization that they should not be installing high-powered cell phone towers near residential areas. While this can be rude awakening to the risks it poses, I don't see anything changing. The DoT will continue to allow mobile operators with deep pockets to install towers in and around densely populated cities and town in India. Who cares?

It was a fortnight of famous deaths too. The Iron Lady passed away and United Kingdom was not so united after all. 

Robert Edwards, pioneer of IVF died after a long illness. Besides providing a way to procreate, he also made it possible for millions of Vicky donors around the world.

Savitha's inquest dug up a whole lot of muck and religious goo. At the end of it, I doubt if Ireland will change their laws for the sake of one dead pregnant Asian.

From car-chases, it appears that Americans have suddenly acquired a taste for guns.
In Georgia and Boston.

The United Axis of Evil delayed a missile test to avoid pushing the North Koreans over the edge. Gee! And they just realized that now?!
Thankfully, China - America's moneylender - has promised to talk to the lil Kim on a peaceful solution. Why the Americans didn't restrain themselves in the first place baffles me.



America is a funny nation.
They are neck deep in debt. Nine out of ten families live hand to mouth, millions don't have jobs or houses, nearly all of them live their entire lives on credit cards and yet they will spend trillions of dollars in military and financial aid. To add sauce to our kachori, they even increased the amount of aid they will provide to Pakistan. Yet inspite of all this, Pakistan will still remain one of the poorest countries in the planet.  Just incredible, I say!
So while your relative/friend is working their capitalist butt off in the US, you can be sure his/her tax dollars will end up fattening the next Pakistani ruler's wallet.

Talking about Pakistan, Mush came like a knight in shining armor, only to get stuck, caught and strung! The man clearly has the combined IQ of a hair comb.

Some unexpected money for Malya Senior, as he won a settlement of Rs 1.5 crore. For a man as wealthy as he is, this loose change would be enough to fuel his exotic car collection but not enough to restart his sick airline.

Hairy Baba cast his vote for the BJP. With the deluge of support for the BJP, the coming elections are looking more lopsided than any in recent history. While I don't support the countless good PR that Modi has been getting on facebook and else, if Modi is half as good as the millions say he is, then we are all in for the ride of our lives.

Some welcome news when our Pradan Mantri proposed to scrap the rule where judges get to pick their successors. Long overdue, this change I'll say. Because the recent plethora of inane and silly laws did point to a rot at its roots. 


A member of the SEAL team that captured and killed Osama was allowed to testify why he sent confidential documents to Wikileaks. His motive was simple- To expose the American military's "bloodlust" and disregard for human life in Iraq and Afghanistan. And I thought that fact was adequately established. How naive of me!

In the past many weeks and in many parts of India, thousands of people have lost their homes. No, its not because they defaulted on loans, but because the government knows it is more convenient to displace them than to disappoint construction moguls in search of prime land. Spare a few minutes and sign the petition.

No Sunny, no. We don't want vulgarity in our songs. We just want to see you gyrate and moan in absolute ecstasy. And so we were promised that there is nothing in any of her songs. Good



Didi came, she walked, she whimpered back. I've said this many times before and I'll say it again. She is the political equivalent of Rakhi Sawant - loud and uncouth. Maybe she should change track and take some lessons from Nitish.
It looks like the former CJI Katju forgot his medication, again. This time he wants the Prez to pardon Bhullar. Why the senile old man won't give up baffles millions. I have one word for you - Bengay!

Sreeshanth: Cry baby.
..and a baby who will make you cry.

I have friends and relatives working in Infosys. Until a couple of years ago, a job there would have meant you've arrived in your career. Settled. Time to get married, buy a house, sell your stocks and retire in peace.
Not any longer. Infosys's fall from glory is a lesson in corporate money management. Infosys lost much of its shine and so did Gold.

A Boeing 737 overshot the runway and landed at sea. Human error or equipment failure, what is appalling is how most of the passengers didn't remember how to deploy the life jackets during emergency. So much for those safety lessons after boarding.

So it's proven that we love lists. In the past fortnight, we had Mila Kunis top the list of the '10 most f*ckable celebrities'. But honestly, why would we need to know that?! Are any of those who voted going to get a chance at it? You wish!
And while Hollywood would love such tags, our desi actresses who gyrate half-naked wonder aloud why the sexy tag has stuck


Another politician got his ugly over-sized feet in his mouth. He repented. Welcome to the club!
After Katju helpfully pointed out how we vote like much cattle, Jairam Ramesh, added substance to what we've been suspecting for a long time - We don't choose our leaders for their intellect. Gee! You really think so!

Online, there was much excitement and argument.
Psy released his second video - Gentleman. It sounds (and looks) like a sequel that pokes fun at his country(wo)men. By the time, you've read this post, the video would've got another 100,000 likes. Personally, I think this video lacks the punch its predecessor had but hey! those pelvic thrusts are way easier to copy and spoof.


A video that did cause a lot of uproar was of a pair of (under-aged) Keralite kids whose over indulgent parents allowed to take their million dollar Ferrari and Land Rover Vogue out for a quick spin.
While you can clearly hear how the kids have made their parents mighty proud by their driving skills, I wonder why the cops have not made an example by arresting the kids and their wealthy parents. Obviously, they might have 'bought off' every minister and cop in a 100 km radius but it is parents like these that result in a nation where children don't know the difference between what is right and what is wrong. I shudder to think how many times and what else these parents have allowed their children to do what is wrong from any angle and every culture.

Natural disasters turned many parts of the world into a pile of rubble - Iran, China.

In all that has been happening in India over the past several months, this is clear - What nature left untouched, we succeeded in destroying. As news of how in-laws of a bride destroyed a two month old fetus because she didn't bring in enough dowry, the officials sprung into action. We all like to say how dowry is evil publicly, but behind closed doors the girl is sold pound for fair-skinned pound. 

About 2 years ago, when I was about to marry my then girlfriend, my mom and relatives lectured me on how it is suitable for me to expect and demand dowry from my 'to be' in-laws. On our engagement, I was again 'counseled' by my mom first and several of my 'aunts' on how dowry is necessary so that the girl's family will be held in high prestige because they gave a sizable dowry. Not that my family needed the money. I was appalled. I refused.
This is quite the predicament for any Indian man when he refuses to accept dowry for the right reasons.
You could be a political prisoner or a prisoner of your principles. Our human rights record is not something we can be proud of either.

The Sanjay Dutt mega serial continued. Why must we even negotiate anymore? Can't we see that Munnabhai actually has no intention of going without a fight? If you ask me, the Court should've just picked him up and thrown him into prison 3 weeks ago. What we got instead is 4 more weeks of this drama. Argh!

About a year ago, Samsung lost a high profile patent case in the US, it is back in the news again. For all the wrong reasons, apparently. Clearly, business ethics were given the smack-down.


Bangalore went Bang Galore!
When an IED exploded near the local office of the BJP, everybody ran like headless chicken. Foot-in-mouth politicians had their own colorful theories and we all had a good chuckle. Even as I write this post, there hasn't been a single arrest though there has been plenty of clues.
Boston -1. Bangalore - 0


And that's the way the cookie crumbles!


Thursday, March 28, 2013

While I was gone... Part 2/2 [March 2013]

Picking up from where we left, here's the second installment of that wonderfully hot month of March.
totally unrelated picture...

Kerala - God's Own Country. We might have the lowest school dropout rates, but forbidden sex is still our Achilles heel. The Suryanelli Sex Scandal, an unfortunate yet pertinent remainder of our countryman's sordid story of orgies and gang-rapes reared its ugly head again. But then this scandal is not new. We have such innovative names to our sex scandals. Our most popular jokes are centered around the breasts and nipples. Our best comedy shows show men ogling at the sweeper/maid when she is sweeping the floor wearing just a blouse with plunging necklines and cleavage in cinemascope. The land where male tutorial teachers often flirt and have sexual relationships with their girl students.
Many years after the abuse, the victim and her family is still trying to wake up from the nightmare. They have moved towns, sold nearly everything they had, tried to change identities and desperately start life afresh. But no! Only convicted felons are allowed to reinvent their lives. I am ashamed to think of people who still hound them for juicy tidbits of information. They want to know if she enjoyed the surprise sex. Neighbors revile them like the plague, and the rich and powerful have victimized them. What's surprising is how none of this surprised me. I expected my countrymen to do this to her. I expected our politicians to call her a prostitute. I expected the prime accused and the dozens of co-accused to go on the lam. I can never expect the lady or her family to get justice. 


Ladies and Gentlemen, this is what we do to our women. We peddle them and then react with utter shock and surprise when we are accused. Can it be a coincidence that some of our biggest politicians and a popular comedian have been accused in sex scandals themselves. Surely not.


Earlier this year, as the victim opened the Pandora's box, tongues wagged and heads started rolling. Let's hope this year brings closure to the young lady.


Another lady that celebrated a momentous year was Mrs G. After 15 years on top, she finally got nostalgic. Wonderful timing, I say. Considering how her party has fared under her watch, she does not have much to gloat about. Infact Mrs G talking about the party's success is like Queen Elizabeth celebrating how she has brought prosperity to the British Empire. Yet, this was a good time for the greatest show of sycophancy in a democracy as our media elevated her renunciation of power almost to the level of sainthood. Argh!
While Rahul might be the splitting image of his father, he might be running into rough seas with his 'corporate' style. While any person in their right unmediated mind will be able to see through this charade, I wonder how much longer we have to endure The Family.

Behind every woman is a man who wishes he married her

Uncle Sam wagged his tail and promised to stand guard against the Axis of Evil. I am curious to know how any of this expenditure can help with the fiscal cuts that were supposed to clip the wings of its out of control defense budget. This shortly after N. Korea trained its guns on Uncle Sam. Korea? Sure, bring it on. Italy? No way. Can we have Iron Man, please?

The castration placards came out as another lady was raped in a moving bus by 3 men. How's the victim doing? No Idea. Deja-vu.
And a British lady lept out of her hotel room to escape an attempt to rape. I don't think she is going to be a glowing ambassador for Incredible India after this. The hotel owner and an accomplice was rounded up.
The accused will have meals and accommodation paid for by our tax rupees and be out before her physical wounds heal.
The six bastards who raped the Swiss confessed. Gee! What else did you expect? Its either this or No Money, if you know what I mean.
The CJI lamented how public sentiment against the juvenile was unfortunate. I see! Do you have a daughter of rapeable age, Mr CJI?
While I won't campaign for death, I would definitely want to campaign for stronger enforcement of tougher anti-abuse laws. Is that too much to ask?

And in news that will make our rapists feel good, a victim of a date-rape in Ohio testified she didn't remember anything that happened to her. If you ask, this is not surprising. America's promiscuity is no longer a secret. Her children have consensual sex as young as 9 and rainbow parties and sorority date rapes are a weekend past-time. Just Google for College Group Sex and you'd be amazed at how many videos there are.

Not the real thing..

Our poly-ticks spoke out against their favorite scapegoat - Dr Manmohan Singh. I am pretty sure he will need a lifetime of counseling when he is booted out next year.
Talking about terms, the ruling government in our western twin (not Britain, but Pakistan) completed its five year term in full. Its been that long?
It seems like just yesterday when Musharraf came over, had tea with our PM and invaded Kashmir. Kudos to them for even making it this far, because honestly, if we went through all that they did, we would have personally made sure Mrs G and her government was thrown out of the country, like how the Pakistanis do to their out of flavor politicians.
Like a drunk rolling on a bed infested with bedbugs, the Congress cozied up to Didi. Touche`
Modi sharpened his pitchfork and we mustn't stop talking about 2002. Even if the EU does.

In an shining example of how totally irrelevant and of how much time our young virile journos have in their hands (not to be taken literally), we had to read and listen to hours of 'Breaking News' on whether SRK and Piggy Chops have taken that crucial next step in their relationship. Gosh!
SRK? Seriously?! He is married, has two kids, is hired to dance for jigs and has been making awful movies for a few years.
Piggy? She is young, oozes sensuality, unmarried (that we know of) and can make any Indian male go (moderately) weak in the knees.
Why Piggy? Why?
I'd understand how you want to marry like Aishwarya and retire rich. Throw a stone out the window and you'll get a dozen single, dashing, young and salaried men to marry you.  But please don't marry that old man.

Wiki sneezed and parodied Sir Ravindra Jadeja. Sir Sachin awaits his turn.
Talking about parodies, creative juices spilled and Ford fired.

Poonam bathing and praying..

In other 'major' news, apun Munnabhai is finally going back to prison. Off came the gloves and superficial faux celebrities, some Page 9'ers and even a former lawmaker engaged in the very Indian tradition of sycophancy campaigning for clemency.  Amidst all the brouhaha, Kalnayak agreed to go back to prison. Well, the boy sure has matured, hasn't he?


And here's a peep into the Madhouse called Tamil Nadu


Australia had a washout and we all forgot about Dhoni's sins.
More work for Sunny, dahlings! There is something to learn from all this. While porn-stars like Sunny are trying to make a mark in mainstream media, we have 'no-good' wannabes like Poonam trying to make a mark in mainstream pornography. Call it reverse brain drain or anything you want, but Sunny made it rich because she looks good. Women like Poonam and Sherlyn have the most hideous antisymmetric faces I've ever seen. Pity we still can't repair a face like that. 

See you all next month, folks!


Thursday, December 27, 2012

Norman Stormin Out [361/365]

A decade and a half ago, he knocked the wind out of the Mother of all Battles. Today, he died out of pneumonia-related complications at age 78.

Retired General Norman Schwarzkopf, Jr., was the commander of the combined coalition forces during the First Gulf War, 1991.

Having served his country with a distinguished military career, he is clearly one of those men who were lucky enough to die of nothing but old age.

He will be best remembered for orchestrating one of the most one-sided victory in modern warfare with a blitzkrieg that left the Iraqi shocked and awed. They probably never knew what hit them and Kuwaitis have Norman to thank for it.

For the Americans, the success of this war soothed a frayed nation that was reeling after an embarrassing string of defeats in Vietnam and Korea and catapulted the Bush family into the limelight.

As the commander of the first heavily-publicized war, Stormin` Norman controlled how the rest of the world saw and experienced the defeat of one of the largest armies at the time.

I wonder if he ever thought about how he didn't finish the job he was supposed to. Saddam Hussein and his republican guards were left decimated and wounded yet alive. Apparently White House rushed to end the way 100 hours after it started only because they weren't keen on removing the dictator.

It doesn't take a genius to understand how leaving a dictator in an oil-rich emirate would benefit a nation with an insatiable thirst for oil. Norman was just the convenient pawn in their hands.

Rest In Peace, Norman!


Tuesday, November 06, 2012

The Victory Dance [311/365]

O Won!
While I wasn't surprised one bit. Given the competition, he could have slept through the campaigning and still won.

There are many reasons why American voters routed Romney out. Mitt's background was anything but convincing. Having a former businessmen at the helm of affairs would have meant repeating many of the sins that they are now trying to fix.

Which is also why Obama's win in a country that has lost its economic advantage is impressive. He won an astounding 332 of 538 electoral votes which means he won comfortably over the 270 that he needed for the second term. And there are thousands of votes that remain uncounted. O also made history by becoming the first American president to win a second term when the nation has been ravaged by high unemployment, natural disasters and a war-sapped economy.

So as the president puts his well-oiled campaigning machine back in the attic and gets back to running the country, the minorities, the blue-collared and the women voters that put him back in power are looking up at him to deliver on his promises.

We could analyze an election that gave stand-up comedians and late-night shows much fodder until we turn blue around our gills. But I don't think any of that will feed the millions who are still unemployed. But O's victory is a testament that America is still made up people who strive and struggle for that American Dream.

It's now time to deliver on those promises, Mr O. Not just because you are the American president elected for the Americans, but also because you are the commander-in-chief of a fragile world on the brink of collapse.
In case you haven't noticed, this is your last chance.


Friday, November 02, 2012

Its Black vs Tan [307/365]

Ah America!
What a glorious land it is!
School text books in most countries call America- the lone Superpower in a tumultuous world, maintaining peace and stability and sanity.
Most Indians (and Asians) aspire to become a citizen there. Green Cards were a groom's or bride's ticket to a grand wedding here in India. Kids want to study there. Proud parents of kids who got married to an American citizen will gloat about the great pot of gold their kids managed to get.

Seven seas away, the Americans are struggling to keep the shine on their rust.
The coveted American Dream is slowly unraveling. Most households live hand to mouth and paycheck to paycheck. Statistics reveal that a vast majority of Americans will file for bankruptcy if they miss two paychecks in a row. And if this does not sober most Indian parents, then a reality check with the number of unemployed will.

At a little over 7.9%, the unemployment rates are perhaps the highest since the Great Depression. With Obama and Mitt battling it out, it could be a close call. However, it isn't a great competition.
Mitt with his guffaws is no match for the suave sophistication that O brings.
While many people are secretly against O, not many will deny that he just inherited a lot of his predecessor's trash. In the 8 years that Bush ruled he took America to the battlefield and left most of it in the gutters. His daddy's connections with the Oil mafia effectively sealed America's fate. If millions of Americans are unemployed, then it is because of the way Bubba spent all their tax dollars fighting ragtag mercenaries with AK47s six timezones away.

I am no Obama supporter but I do believe him when he says he is trying. What Americans need is security. Not security from foreign terrorists, but from bad policies from leaders with vested interests.

I am amazed how a country as great as America does not have affordable healthcare and efficient employment plans, when much smaller countries like Canada, Kuwait, and Sweden are able to provide for their citizens.

O will win. Not because I have strange powers of seeing into the future but because what America needs now is continuity and some semblance of stability.


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