Showing posts with label Vijay Mallya. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vijay Mallya. Show all posts

Thursday, August 07, 2014

And that's the way the cookie crumbled, in July Twenty14... [Part Two]

Guess who's getting lucky? Thats right, at Rs 8 lakhs a night, estranged wife of Hrithik
Roshan, designer Sussanne Khan demanded Rs 400 crores ($ 654 million) as alimony.
With the way vegetable prices have been soaring, I am pretty sure she needs that kind of money to survive.

iPhone wannabe Chinese smartphone Xioami stormed the Indian marketplace and took a flipkart. Sold Out!
From humble beginnings as a startup in Bangalore, Flipkart has come a long way. Now based out of Singapore, it got $ 1 billion in additional funding. The very next day, Amazon announced it is pumping in $ 2 billion into its etail business in India. Sure, etail is still in its infancy here but have they bitten off more than they can chew?

In more aviation news, there were some more close shaves and near misses. Good year for Nat Geo 'Air Crash Investigation'.
Call it superstition or a lame attempt to reinvent itself, after a spate of high profile disasters Malaysia Airlines will now rechristen itself and seek new investors. 
In other disaster news, a massive landslide buried an entire village and if it wasn't for an alert bus driver, we would have been digging out corpses by now. The culprit? Rampant deforestation and soil erosion. Sadly none of this will shock any of us any more.

Afghanistan accused Pakistan of stoking violence. Who knew?!
ISIS hoisted its flag in Kashmir. Great! Another butt to kick.
Boko Haram tied up with Dawood Ibrahim and made good logistics sense.
A Japanese girl in Tokyo was arrested after she killed and fed on her classmate. Brings more meaning to the term - Peer Bonding.

Jane Goodall, known for her decades long work amongst chimps and great apes, predicted the apes will go extinct if we continue to poach and encroach. 

On the heels of the 'emotional contagion' experiment FB did on its users, OKCupid tweaked it's users data and preferences to test how potential partners would react. There goes my faith in the system.
And cementing my belief in the obvious, a research showed that the longer you remain on FB, the more depressed you get. Finally!!!

'Vijay Malya is an accidental defaulter and not a willful defaulter' Sayeth UCO, one of the bank who lend his now-defunct airline 1000s of crores as loan. 
Air India had an eventful month this month, when it launched flights on the Delhi-Moscow route for the first time in 15 years. 

VR Bhat, a freelance writer and a self-proclaimed RSS worker was sued for slandering a woman on FB. Quote UnQuote 'Women against Sanatana Dharma must be raped', he is the kind of scum that we don't need.
Dozens of factories that dumped their sewage in to the Ganges were ordered to be shut down. The first step towards cleaning up Hinduism's holiest river.

The Costa Concordia was finally towed away for dismantling and further east, children who survived the South Korean ferry crash testified against the captain and crew of the ferry.

In 'Weird enough to be News' news, 
  • An uptown bar in London conducted a pheromone party where participants could find their partner by sniffing 3 day old sweaty tee-shirts. No big deal. Indians in India have the pheromone parties every morning and evening when they use public transportation.
  • A Brazilian artist made dresses out of unused condoms. Thank God he chose the unused condoms!
  • After killing off Archie, the upcoming 26th season of the animation series Simpsons will see a major character being 'killed off'.
  • Bill Clinton got punked! By Indian government officials. The officials masqueraded a student from a better school as a child of the government school in Uttar Pradesh that his foundation supports. 
  • An Austrian priest was furious after he found out his church was used as a location for a porn film. The things pastors have to go through for us!
  • Want to have a threesome? Download 3nder, an app that allows you to locate that eager beaver for your romp. 
  • After kicking out every major business in the last few years, Mamatadi has gone to Singapore to convince industrialists to open shop in Bengal. Ha Ha!
  • Sikh basketball players where thrown out of the FIBA championship in China. Somehow the Chinese still manage to rub us the wrong way every now and then, huh?
  • Locally known as 'End of the World', a giant crater in the middle of nowhere in Siberia baffled scientists. Maybe the Americans could search for oil there but I digress.
Papa Mulayam poured out some ancient wisdom. Rapes are no big deal, until it strikes a lady in your family.

Honda fresh after the box-office hits of its City and Amaze introduced the Mobilio. Considering how slick Honda has always been with their product promotions, this could give Toyota, Maruti and Tata a run for their money. 
On the other end of the price spectrum, Porsche announced the launch of their luxury SUV - the Macan at Rs 1.11 crores. Sussanne, you can buy it.

In this month's 'Let's give a moment of silence' section, 
South African writer and winner of the 1991 Nobel Prize for Literature Nadine Gordimer passed away. 

In truly incredible news of selfless love, a Muslim husband in Uttar Pradesh donated his kidney to his wife. Against the wishes of his parents. 

Guess who is giving the Pride of our Nation, Sunny Leone, sleepless nights? No, not who you thought, but I like the way you think
Its Dana Vana. Like a moth to a flame, phirangis are drawn to Bollywood. 

Watch out for Ebola. Without a vaccine or a cure in sight, this virus has always been the most potent immunodeficient viruses in the world now. With a mortality rate of almost 90%, this is one virus that can become a epidemic really fast. Read more about the virus here.


Ok ladies, have you ever envied how we men can pee standing up? Do you dread using those crusted discolored Indian toilets? Well, worry no more. Introducing Pee-buddy. An unique use  and throw contraption that will help women pee standing up. 
Next Week: How to fart like a man.

Meanwhile, Harley Davidson decided to outsource production of all its bikes to India. The last frontier!

And in good news to those who remember their vehicle's mileage better than their partner's birthdays, Petrol will be less dearer by Rs 1.09/litre.

India's Foreign Minister, Sushma Swaraj, told the US Secretary of State John Kerry that we won't tolerate any more snooping. Maybe we should ask Snowden for more help

Adieus Good People of the World! See you all next month.


Saturday, October 27, 2012

Revving up Our engines [301/365]


When I'd begun writing this post, the Indian Grand Prix was still a day away.
The world's most expensive wastefully extravagant sport was here at the world's most favorite 'third world country'.
Ironically, this is also the land where our stratospheric fuel prices unite more Indians atleast once every quarter than any other fight. We had our last 'United against Fuel-hike' protest just half a Kardhashian ago (1 Kardharshian = 72 days), so this event just made no sense to me.

Where were the protestors? Or did they assume that the cars would run on spit and pee?
Did you take a look at the OMG ticket prices?
So, I decided to do what 13,000 odd people didn't- Watch the race on the boob tube and saved myself a fraction of a Nira Radia (1 Nira Radia = Unimaginable wealth)

Like any other patriotic Indian, my eyes searched for our F1 team- Sahara Force Indian on the grid. Finishing at a respectable 8th, the team improved its FIA ranking and gathered 4 points.
But where the hell was our real desi driver? Narain Karthikeyan, aka The Fastest Indian, was near the tail-end of the race. Which means he hasn't got any points in the last two years he has been with HRT.
What plagues Indian drivers? While Mr Malya has brought us some reason to cheer with his F1 team, can it be an Indian team without an Indian driver? But I am sure I am digressing here.

Surely motorsports is the ultimate boy's toy and every metro-sexual man and his girl must root for his/her favorite team. But isn't that what horse races and the EPL is for? At about $7 million, the F1 car is surely the most expensive car you'll ever see. But this is not including the $ 20 mill it would cost to maintain a winning team. But there is some serious moolah coming in too. It is reported that RedBull pumped in $100 mill into its team in 2009. Add the 100's of millions that come in as sponsorships, advertisements and ticket sales, where the teams get a cut based on their position and you'll see why teams race for that podium finish.
What good will this do for us? At about $400 billion, this could be the most expensive 5 kms in India. Airtel paid about Rs 40 crores to sponsor for 5 years with the potential to earn about $180 million and create 10,000 people.
In a country of a billion where millions starve, how can an F1 race improve their lives?

With the Buddh International Circuit, we are one of those elite countries to have an award winning circuit, but in the end we will still be known as a country with potholed roads, impoverished kids, fat corrupt politicians, trash-filled and over-populated cities, kitschy Bollywood movies, over-rated cricketers and one puppet Prime Minster.


Monday, October 08, 2012

5 Star Mess [283/365]

Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as real strength.
— Ralph W. Sockman 


So the past year has been really bad for Mr Mallya.
India's flamboyant billionaire risks loosing his equally flamboyant airline after piling up billions of dollars in losses.
While his airline has been grounded for the past 10 days after a partial lockout, his woes have increased.
The DGCA has asked him why they should not cancel the airline's license after critical ground support staff have struck work after not been paid salaries for the past seven months.

Following resignations of several high profile employees in the upper management, on Friday one of the staffer's wife committed suicide after not being able to put up money for her son's studies abroad. WOW! Farmer suicides are passe. Who cares about them anyway? But when you are unable to send your child to study abroad, sure. That is a new low for our nation. Poonam Pandhey, take note.

If you ask me, I know Mallya is going to come out of this mess that he walked into.
The clues lie in the lessons he's learned. Inheriting his father's business at the tender age of 29, he has made Kingfisher what it is today. From spirits to real estate, Formula 1 to a T20 Cricket team, he has done it all. He has sprawling penthouses in all four continents and every motoring luxury known to mankind.
He will definitely need to pull a rabbit out of the hat to save his airline and keep his liquor business. With the airline loosing all of its value, its lenders can neither seize the leased aircrafts nor allow the airline to die. The fact that the government has allowed his airline to fly all these years speak of the incredible clout that Mallya yields in the upper echelons of Delhi.

While it looks apparent that Mallya is not going to save the airline from his pocket, the next couple of days will reveal if he is ready to loose his airline to keep his title of liquor baron intact. The lenders are thin on patience and the time is running out for Mallya to act.


Interestingly, for a company that is known for its calenders Kingfisher sure hasn't kept any of the dates it promised to pay salaries on.


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