Showing posts with label Wounded Hearts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wounded Hearts. Show all posts

Sunday, February 07, 2016

The demise of a heart | Manna for your Soul

This is the month of love!

What happens when people fall in love?
Colors are brighter, smells are stronger, fragrances are arousing, mountains become molehills, you get the drift right..

But here's a question most people don't want to ask themselves - What happens when a relationship breaks?
Suddenly you feel a vacuum in your life. Your phone don't feel the same anymore. Its almost like you've died inside. 
You fall back onto habits that comforted you, but realise that nothing is the same again. 
Every bone in your body feels disjointed. Every muscle like a over-stretched rubber-band. 
You want to curl up in the darkest corner of the dankest room in your house and stay there.
You cry out to God asking for peace. Sometimes you just cry.
You want to be alone yet with company just so that you can hear voices other than your own. 
You have chores to do but any effort is simply futile.
You desperately cling onto fading memories of a dead relationship... hoping it would come alive again.
You dissect and analyse every minute of what happened and wish you could undo it. Even if you know that only means sacrificing the reason why you did it in the first place.

You want to cure that throbbing pain somewhere in the nether regions of your heart and intestines. 
Some people would want to drown their pain but like corpses that float back up, memories buoy. 
Most believe time will heal your pain and maybe it will. But what can heal your pain right now?
Prayer can. But like everything else, God cannot be rushed.

Why do relationships break?
People are attracted to each other because of things they share.
In the rare chance that you actually find that someone who fits you like that carefully-knit customized glove, don't let go. If you have found a person so alike you, you'd even have the same tattoo and the same temperaments, pawn away your ego and stay.  
The perspectives are varied, and the journey to the now was different. The dreams could be the same, but the paper to those blueprints are different. 
Your expectations out of each other grow. You expect the other person to be reasonable, patient, forgiving and loving. We want our love to be like in Corinthians 13: 4-8. We earnestly want a love that is perfect. 
Yet how many of us are really patient and hopeful? 
How many of us can claim to not be angered, boastful and trusting?

But the truth is - Human relationships are imperfect. Very few people can claim to be everything we are told to be in Corinthians 13. The only perfect relationship you can ever have is one with God. 
The fact that you are alive and reading this is proof that God loves you more than he/she loved you. 

Pray, even if all you can ask is for yourself. Because He knows you are hurting. 
Pray, even if you are angry at God for what happened. Because He isn't going to be mad at you for being pissed off at Him.
Pray, even if sobs intersperse your sentences. Because He knows the hurt behind those tears.
Pray, for him/her. Ask that they find happiness and peace in their souls. Because no matter why the relationship failed, they are going through every painful ache that you are going through as well. Because they need healing too. Because if you were with them, you wouldn't bear to see their tears, how could you let them grieve when you are not with them? 
Pray for both of yourselves. Because you both need the peace that surpasses all understanding. Because you need to heal.
Pray, because you can't be vengeful. Because it's much more satisfying when you let the person you loved the most go.

Personally, I've always believed in - 'If you love a person, let them go. If they come back, they were yours. If they don't. They never were.' 
My pastor would add - 'Sometimes, you just have to keep the doors to your heart open for a little while longer. And if they don't come back, atleast you know you tried and didn't give up so easily.' 

You could hold yourself back to shield the pain of a future heartbreak, but when the relationship breaks, you will be shattered. 
You may not want to feel exposed, but the truth is - when you are in love, you have already made yourself vulnerable. Because when you are in love, you are letting that person choose to love you as much as they can hurt you. 

My advice: Don't break up. Better still, don't fall in love. 
Romantic relationships are not for people who can feel pain, articulate it and write about it.
touché


Thursday, May 13, 2010

Dial 'G' for God

Do you have days that you feel like you are the victim and that God is snoozing and not doing His job?
Have you failed and thought that all is over?
Have you had a broken marriage or a torn relationship?
Do you have a wounded heart?
I am sure all of us have would nod our heads at atleast one of the above.

I've failed many times in the past. I've failed at exams, at work and at relationships. I've contemplated suicide exactly 2 times but could never take that final step. Somebody up there really loves me.
I've heard someone say that you are immortal until your purpose on earth is not served.
So if you would like to live for ever and ever, go ahead, don't answer your calling. Don't live the life you deserve to be living, Don't be what you are supposed to be.

But for the rest of us and the many followers of the the Bible, as it is written in the book of Philippians 2: 14-16, 'Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.'




We are precious, so precious that Jesus, the Son of God, Himself died for our sins, my sins, your sins and your children's and their children's and their children's sins.
When He died on the Cross, His body was the sacrifice that paid for all sins that every human, that was alive or is yet to come. He paid for all the sins that you and me and all the people who ever lived on this planet would ever commit. How wonderful and AWESOME is God!
BUT, there is a condition. 

Oh yeah, We need to surrender ourselves totally and completely to Him.
What?!!!
Normally, we come across conditions that have strings attached but this?
Yes, He wants us. God wants us to love Him and trust Him completely and let Him be the Guiding Force in your life. Oh yes, we wants to do all the work for us!
As if letting His Son die for our sins and the sins of all humanity was not enough, He wants to make sure that we all get to meet His one and only Son.
I can almost picture Him gushing with joy when we let Him take control of our lives (which by the way, He created)

I remember the feeling of absolute joy when I let God take control of my life.
I and my ex had just finished our first and only counseling session and I for the first time, stopped rebelling and gave away the reins of my life to God. The sensation that
swept across my soul is indescribable. It was the most peaceful moment that I'd ever experienced.
The nearest that I can come to describing what I felt can be like how in a bitter freezing winter night, and you wrap a warm wool quilt over yourself instantly warming yourself or like that long deep breath of air that you exhale after holding your breath for long.

There is so many things that we can want to do, but there is so little you actually NEED to do. All you need to do is SURRENDER yourself completely and unconditionally.
Why are we so determined to struggle when the blessed life is so easy to get? All we need to do is listen to the still soft voice of our Lord.

He is all we need..
He is all for us....

He is knocking...
Will you not answer today?


Monday, April 05, 2010

When memories come rushing by..


Recently I read an article which confirmed my worst suspicions.
'Words do hurt'

The article in question apparently quotes a scientific study that probably spent hundreds and thousands of dollars to prove how certain words do make our brains to react in a certain way. Duh!

Do you ever wonder why scientists are researchers are always proving the most mundane fact of life?
Who sanctions all the funds for these studies? What is the point? Are we any bit the more wiser or saner?
Does this study mean we will be happier and shield ourselves from all the painful words/places/memories?
Neither did I.

We have all gone through a lot of hurt. We are human, after all.
Which one among us would not have been in a hurtful relationship.
I have been in relationships where I have been both the victim and the villain.

Come to think of it, I have been in committed relationships for the past 6 years with women who have given a lot of love in their own unique ways. But with a lot of love, comes the scope of a lot of hurt.

Wounded hearts. Contrary to popular wisdom, time does not heal your wound but just keeps you in a drug induced pain-free state of mind. Lot of people choose not to look at their wounds and like how you inevitably bump just that wound when you least expect it, there comes that word, thought or act that rips open the wound.
You could have been wounded by offensive things that other people say or do to hurt us, by our own sinful behavior or by a calamity that overwhelming.

A wound to our heart never heals with time.
I've had fits of depression and I know lots of people who have struggled with physical, mental and spiritual symptoms of inner wounds.
Often the first response is to back away from the situation to allow time for healing. They often turn inward and brood over their hurt. The hurt gradually grows to be a festering sore just waiting for that unfortunate word, act or memory and out comes all the anger, bitterness, hate, revenge and fear. The rejection that they then receive brings more hurt. This is a vicious cycle.
Yet other people respond by balancing hurt with anger and revenge or by trying to protect themselves from further hurt to allow time for healing. As much as it seems, this never leads to true healing. As they enter into relationship, the wound hardens their heart and we receive more hurt.

True healing begins with God in your heart and your lives.

Throughout the Scriptures, in both the Old and the New Testament, we see our Lord's intense love for us.
God cares about your broken heart, wants to heal it and is waiting for us to let Him do the healing.
Jesus suffered the most excruciating death on the cross because it was His desire to heal us of the wound that the first human brought to Earth.
However, we must allow Him control, because He cannot change what He does not control.
Fair deal, I say.

The process starts by making a list of your hurts, starting with the greatest first.
Ask God to cleanse your heart of all anger, bitterness, lust, revenge, hate and inability to forgive.
Picture the experience in your mind and then picture Jesus suffering the same hurt and sin for you at the Cross.
His resurrection meant forgiveness and mercy for your sins.

Just as surely that the Lord can heal your wounded heart, He can also give you a tender heart that will be sensitive to the hurts of others.
He who is Omnipotent can change that which was meant for evil into good.

I had my Damascus road experience roughly two years ago.
God started healing me the moment, I asked Him to take control of my life.
When we have the reins of our life in our hands, we are capricious. There are some of us have learnt how to surrender ourselves to God, some others to the world and then some others a convenient combination of the two. However, what we forget is that we can never serve 2 masters, while being loyal to both. There will be a time when you will need to choose between the two.

Luke 4:18-19 says:
"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
      because he has anointed me
      to preach good news to the poor.
   He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
      and recovery of sight for the blind,
   to release the oppressed,
    to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."

Lets all be messengers of the Good News.


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