While you were gone: September 2013 [Part 2 of 3]

Sorry folks, no hyperlinks this time..

Better sense prevailed.

Obama spared all of us another war. Syria will spend $1 billion to dismantle its chemical weapons.
The courts punished the most famous rapists in the only way it knew - Death.
Rangarajan cut GDP forecasts.
Srini punished Sree in the swiftest way known to cricket - Life ban.
Our government cheated on 1024 promises it made. Nothing official about it, eh?
Modi: First denounced his desire to become the next prime minister, was later crowned the party's prime ministerial candidate. Advani gave in to popular demand (read Modi).
Former Olympian Rajyavardhan Rathore joined politics.
A 16 year old was abducted and gang-raped by cops in J&K and a 14 year old rape victim killed herself.

Well, I never said it was all good news.

If I've learned anything from all the wars we have ever fought, then it is how leaders of our nations have acted with unilateral hate. Sometimes, as self elected representatives of civilized countries that call themselves developed, they assume an air of pseudo importance and consider it their mortal purpose to save us from imagined sins. But in doing so, they only expose their own lack of morality.
I don't think the ordinary American worries about Assad crossing the red line of gassing his own constituents. The only line the West are crossing are the thin line of double standards in humanitarian intervention.
Ordinary Americans have far graver tragedies to deal with. They live a life of incredible unpredictability. They aren't sure if they will have a job tomorrow, will end up as unwitting victims of some raged gunman, or if they can hold on to their homes.
Indian-Americans will continue to fight racism. What surprises me is not how Nina Davuluri beat the competition, but how 'patriotic' Americans sit in their moral high horse and show the world how stupid they really are. So @Granvil_Colt, @jakeamick5, @jayres15, @NateBerard, @sarawhitton, @SHANN__Wow, @Blayne_MkltRain and the thousand others who couldn't believe a land of a billion plus could possibly produce another beauty queen fit to rule the world- Go f**k yourselves. Haven't you heard about the Muslimah World pageant?

Modi promised to put Pakistan in its place, if he is elected to power. I don't know how to react to this. This has doomsday written all over it.

Marissa Meyers fears being imprisoned if her company does not hand over their user's details, anytime it is 'requested'. As the head of a major search engine, this cannot be good news, can it?
For all you staunch Lance Armstrong fans, stay away from 'The Armstrong Lie', a documentary that promises to shred any tiny bit of the aura he's retained.

Voyager 1, the interplanetary probe has left the solar system.
We have been pretty busy too. Launching an ICBM and planning an unmanned probe to Mars. Why? Are we done screwing up earth already?

Paes and Radek brought (respective) home another Grand Slam championship. Three Cheers!
Closer home, communal violence ripped apart whatever semblance of secularism we portrayed.

Ranbaxy got banned, because they found human hair. Relax, we've found worse things in our food. Besides, all this just helps build immunity.

After fighting for what seemed like a millennium, Dell is going private. Finally!

That's all the time we have for the news, folks.
Go out and enjoy the world, while it's still bright and sunny.

While you were away: July 2013 [Part 3 of 3]

When politicians provide us much self-deprecating humor, bloggers like me can't ask for more. I had to wipe the drool off.

China, got a little taste of Pakistan. Unfortunately, the Chinese aren't as great with bombs as their trigger-happy neighbors are. Or he just wanted to screw his life up.
Talking about being trigger-happy, our army decided to unload their ammo at some civilians in the God-forsaken country of J&K. All.Hell.Broke.Lose.

Meanwhile, couple of timezones away, O urged resilience and introspection. The verdict just proves how divided the United States of America really is. While I can definitely say the country has a lot of spirituality, what the community lacks is the togetherness that some of the greater civilizations had. They may have great churches that hold a lot of influence but deep down, they are really not that different from the rest of us.

Obama is visibly struggling to hold the fabric together, but back home, we just got a new State- Telangana.
At the wrong end of 60, India looks older than she really is. Politicians have peddled her like a prized prostitute to the highest bidder over and over again, and then used her to cover up their sins. Telangana can best be compared to impregnating the grandma just so that the husband's affair with the maid servant won't be discovered.. We have no excuse, no reason, no logic. We however have millions of illiterate, gullible people following politicians who are really smart about all the wrong things.
But on the brighter side. we will soon have 50 States. And then we will be known as the United States Of India.

If you thought kids said the zaniest things, you're wrong. Our politicians and businessmen hold that title here.

In what can be categorized as incredibly swift, 6 men who raped a Swiss tourist in March this year, were tried and jailed. None of the other desi victims will see justice. 
Moral of the story: It pays to be Swiss.
A few clicks away, Dubai made a mockery of rape. Who won?!

Shashi Tharoor, former UN diplomat and politician known to suffer from verbal diarrhea spoke: "English has been an asset for India. It is perhaps the only worthwhile thing we gained from the colonial experience. And in a country that is as vast and diverse as ours, it is very good to have a language like English to link us together, to link all parts of the country together where no part feels disadvantaged,". I don't think he knew Telangana was going to happen. 

In one of the biggest bubbles that popped, the Motor City of America - Detroit, went kaput! Indians felt the ripples and seeing as how have been eyebrow-deep shit for quite a while now, Bangalore isn't too far behind.

Someone must ask the Supreme Court to stop creating laws it can't enforce. Another victim succumbed to an acid attack by a man who was smitten by her. I won't ask that he be killed. I rather have him suffer a slow painful life. I'm inviting email suggestions on ideas I can add to how I will lead India.

China showed off her horsepower. India held another meeting. Great!
A bunch of Paki lunatics aka Clerics banned women from shopping alone. Wonderful! I am beginning to think the clerics actually want to punish men who hate shopping.

Bihar has always been the hillbilly of India. But no more. It's raining gold in Bihar!
While jewelry shops are still making hay while the gold shines, RBI tightened its grip. ARGH!
The most over-rated royal family got a new heir to the throne. Epic Yawn!
All hail the royal pain in the arse- future King George. So when are we going to tell him about Jacintha?
And in news that would prompt an exodus of men, Japanese advertisers decided to advertise their brands on the thighs of women who wore mini-skirts. And here's the immigration guidelines. 

As our 'underweight' economy continues its downward spiral, our government called on its NRIs to bail the rest of us out. No Strings Attached. How noble! But hey, you can still get a full meal for Rs 12/- plus tips. Politicians tripped over eachother and the rest of us ranted about how out of touch with reality Raj Baboon er.. Babbar is, I think he was just talking about paying $12 for a meal. Honest mistake, you see.
But that's okay. Iran stood up.

Yesteryear hottie and former B-grade Bollywood actress, Mamata Kulkarni showed the rest of us how you'll end up if you don't shape those brows and use that age-defying skin creams. Monster mono-brow alert!

Someone once told - 'It's good when people hate you. It shows they are obsessed about you'. O got 65  letters urging him to not let M in. As if!

And for anyone who said Indians don't have a iota of humor, a Mumbai restaurant showed it off in style. More power to satirists, I say.

You have to love Ireland! They hate abortions. But Godless marriages? Sure, mate!
Meanwhile, Modi and Rahul are turning into the Obama and Romney of India. Only worse. While it is almost sure one of the two demons will get to rule us (and probably ban this blog) in the future, that is where the similarities end. Neither of them have credentials worthy of being called a Statesman. They are both corrupt beyond comparison, have the unmistakeable scent of blood on their hands and lack the IQ or the imagination to guide us.

Almost on cue, India saw another disaster - Thousands of impoverished school children died after eating mid-day meals that were poisoned. Politicians pointed fingers at each other and eventually found a scapegoat. A week into the tragedy, everyone's forgotten about the plight of thousands of parents who lost the apple of their eyes.

And we latched on to Amartya Sen. Poor chap bit off more than he could chew. Whats a Nobel Laurette gotta do to be respected in his own country, huh? Our dirty-as-the-sewer-rat politicians flicked their forked tongues and Amartya regretted the day he woke up and decided to say all that he said.
Durga Shakti Nagpal, lifted the skirts of ugly Indian politicians. Hell hath no fury like the scorn of the spurned IAS officer.

Dell didn't get the deal. What bothers me is why Micheal Dell would want to take it private to restructure?
Snowden did a cameo and it looks like it might be a long rough Russian winter for the former NSA hacker. Merry Christmas, Snow(den)!

Poonam Pandhey got her first movie. Finally! Take my advice and spare yourself the torture. There is much better porn online. Don't google for it either or she might even say that she is the most googled actress in the world. Epic Fail!

Bangalored! [32/365]

Sweatshops: A dirty word that conjures up images of obscure rows of employees sitting hunched over in dark dreary and unhygienic factories in countries like Philippines and Bangladesh.
While the truth is not far from the fiction, sweatshops have evolved into sophisticated work-areas where employees and their working conditions have not changed much.

Bangalore is the ITES sweatshop capital of the world.
I've started my career in a call-center. One of the first in Bangalore, it was when people the Dell call center was still that dream company to work for. We never had cabs the way most companies have now. Sometimes, you'd get a ride in the company's Maruti van or sometimes, the MD's Cielo. Most times, it was BYOA (Bring Your Own A$$) to work and back. But I enjoyed my stint there. I was one of 25 who would try and sell Sony products to American customers who visited our products online. I could easily sell a couple of VAIOs or a $7000 plasma televisions on a regular day.

The company never had the infrastructure or a clue on how to manage it's employee and retain talent. Every time an enterprising rodent chewed on the computer cables, we were simply sent to a nearby cybercafe so that we could continue chatting with our unaware clients. To my clients, I was Nancy. We never had to field questions like 'Are you in India?!' or make much small talk. They just wanted to buy a Sony product and it didn't matter that we were in a rat infested call center in India who had no clue about how the weather in the US was. This was more than a decade ago.

While BPOs and call centers might look a lot better in buildings of glass and metal, with backup plans and improved infrastructure, I often feel much of this is just cosmetic. I have seen companies that encourage their employees to work overtime by paying them 20 times of what they would normally get in as a bonus in their annual appraisals.
I've worked in companies where they pack you ten to a cab that would normally seat only seven plus the driver. I've been in one of those cabs where sandwiched between the co-passenger and the driver and with the gear stick between my legs, I would hope that the driver clutches the right shaft. I've been in companies that mandate that you reach office at least 30 minutes before your shift but could care a rat's ass if you missed your ride back home. Transport and food has always been the bane of every employee in such a company. But of course, the buck is always passed.

If you thought only the folks in garment and manufacturing industries were being slaved, think again.
Surely proponents of the industry can testify at how the average standard of living has increased in India in general and Bangalore in particular since call-centers have arrived. And I agree that this has given jobs, a career and so many other things to millions of graduates like me.
But we aren't that much better than our Chinese counterparts. Our educated boys and girls migrate to cities with dreams of a better life but end up working in call centers that don't serve good food, wont listen to their transport woes and can't guarantee that they wont be fired the next time a 'ramp -down' happens. Many of them live in unscrupulous hostels and dilapidated paying guests that fleece them.

For people outside the industry, if you're working in a call center you have loose morals, an affinity for mobile phones and gadgets and you live a life that disgusts them yet they would tolerate you since you are a source of money for them.
But for people who have survived the industry, they can vouch for how difficult work can get, at how harsh Indian task masters are and how life is generally not as rosy as we make it appear to the world. I know of companies that insist their employees take about 400 calls a day (and that's about 50 calls an hour with an average handle time of 5 minutes or lesser per call) with a constant pressure to excel and not be at the bottom of an archaic performance scale.
Yet, I've referred many of my acquaintances and friends to a call center anytime they wanted a job and I know plenty of people who have done the same. The life may not be great, but it's a great place to start from.

Definitely, many of our call centers are nothing but really sophisticated sweatshops but I shudder to think where the world would have been without India, her million call centers, the billion graduates and the zillion puns and jokes about the Indian accent.

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Trust Betrayed

About a couple of years ago and when I was sufficiently 'house-trained' about the intricacies of Technical Support, I got this joke about Helpdesk Rules. Several of the jokes were utterly funny.

Most of what was mentioned there was what many of us would have thought of atleast once during their careers but of course would never have the gall to think aloud, let alone act on.

However, all that changed when I read the newspapers 2 days ago. The headline read: 'Tech Support steals woman's naked pictures off her computer'.

I was appalled! What shocked me more is that this happened 3 years ago.

However, that was 2 days ago and I don't see any reaction around. Am I missing something here?

What defeats my understanding is how we, as a society, can create such a ruckus when fuel prices go up or when some no good politician twitters but stay mum when it comes to something that will tarnish our already miserable reputation in Outsourcing.

India is a nation of great misnomers!

We will go to war of principles and morals against poor neighbors burning our National flag, but when it comes to safeguarding the reputation, jobs and dignity of a million of it's citizens, we exercise amazing restrain.

Lest we come across as a nation of hasty village idiots, we need to wait and watch.

After all, all news dies in 2 months.

What I cannot fathom is why a news like this didn't cause so much stir to even warrant a revolution?

Why Dell and the local law enforcement agencies played this down for so long before the media raised hell?

Why isn't Dell doing or appear to be punishing the culprit more severely so as to set a precedent?

Why do we consistently appear to be shooting ourselves in the leg when we could so easily redeem ourselves as a nation of the smartest and most enterprising Asians?

Back when I was working as a lowly agent, 9 years ago, I remember my Clients used to entrust me with their Credit Card details almost with the same innocence of a 3 year old. I had to take the details down so that I could help them make purchases online. I could have misused them, but never did. I never felt the temptation to own something I didn't work (hard) for. Never had the glib intentions to con a person who trusted me with so much. I won't call myself Mother Theresa but I somehow never had the intellect to steal.

But like water that follows gravity, we always forget to learn the good lessons of our collective bad judgments. The media will pick another headline, the Victim becomes another statistic and India like a rickety yellow school bus will move on in its own momentum.

While we are known to be a resilient bunch of people, we must strive to be a smart and sensitive citizens of a resurgent planet.

We must learn to be more conscious of the values that we as a civilization espoused while the West were still a bunch of unruly gun totting semi naked natives.

Wake up, India. Its time to go to work!