Answer to my Prayer [297/365]

If you ask a believer, what is the most common statement he makes while he/she prays, chances are that it will be - 'Answer my prayer, O Lord'
We all implore God to answer our prayers. We beg/plead/threaten and nag our Lord to answer all our prayers. When we were small, to give us that toy; when we were growing up, to give us good marks; and when we were working, to give us a promotion and a good spouse/house/car.

Our wants and needs grew exponentially. We were always desperate when we asked and nagged our God, yet I bet none of us remember if He answered our prayers in a wonderful way. He would've surely given you something better than what we asked for in the long run but that's not something we keep tabs of.

Many years ago, when I was getting to that 'marriageable' age, I began to yearn for a companion. Sure, I had a job and was standing on my feet by then, but that was not enough. I wanted to marry. My parents weren't too keen on searching for a bride for logic that is best known to them. I was stubborn. How could I ever convince my parents that I had needs. As an Indian, you are taught to never talk about your physical and emotional needs when you grow up. It was around that time when I read about the 'virtuous wife'. So I began to pray for a virtuous wife. On my knees. As days became weeks and months, I began to doubt if my prayers were reaching Him. It was so easy to give up and that's what I did. I stopped praying on my knees.
Prayer became just another chore I'd do as I woke up. I wandered.

Years would pass before I saw how wonderful His ways were. I'd forgotten that I asked Him for a virtuous wife but He didn't.
His unfailing love is wonderful. His mercy- plentiful.

Psalm 69:16

I am going through a phase in my life which does not make sense to me. I am not sure how long it would take me to walk through this phase, yet I know that He is carrying me through. I have been praying and sometimes I get impatient and I want Him to do things instantaneously. Yet, I know that my time is not His time. Our plans are myopic and surely not like the plans that He has for us. Having been through worse times, we know that we will get through this and when we do, it will make us purer and stronger.

Does the Lord answer your prayers?
Yes, although it may not always be a 'Yes', the answer could be a 'No'. Or it could be a simple 'Not now'. When I asked Him for a wife, He didn't say 'No' to it, it only said 'Not Now'. The trouble is that we refuse to take a 'No' or a 'Not now' for an answer. So when that happens, we end up doing what we want anyway. The ever merciful Lord that He is, He tells us- 'Ok, go ahead and do it and when you're back, I'll be waiting for you'. And unfailingly, He will be waiting for us when we wander back.

As a parent, we'd like to think that we are a good judge for our children's needs. We know what is good for them and what is inappropriate for them. We even think we know when we must give. We plan for our children's education, marriage and even their life. Yet sometimes, we go wrong. But He can't. Be assured that He has a plan to meet your every need, from the moment you were conceived until the moment you see Him in Heaven.
Isn't it a wonderful thing to know a God who has a plan for every single person that ever was, has and will come to this planet?

Be encouraged to know God's love for you is so deep He will always be there to take care of you. If times get tough and too hard to bear, get down on your knees and share with Him. He will meet you there as you are.

If you are at a phase in your life, where you feel nothing is going right then turn back and He is waiting for you.
Think of a scenario where someone has failed you. Where someone told you something but ended up disappointing you. Now, remember all the wonderful ways He has answered each of your prayers in the past and you'll realize that He has never failed.

Behold, the unfailing Lord!

Second Chance Living [13/365]

On a recent bike ride to the mountains, I was descending down a steep 45% decline with tons of 'hair pin' curves.

If the narrow roads with jagged shoulders don't scare you, the sight of the drop would've made you want to walk rather than roll down the hill.
But I was tired and the lack of sleep was beginning to show on my body. I was barely able to keep my eyes open, much less be alert.
About a kilometer down the road, I careened down the road and barely made the curve. While it took me a few seconds to realize how close I came to plunging down a cliff-side, the incident shook me thoroughly. I've decided never to trust instincts or test the loose shoulders since.
I've also realized how God gave me a second chance that day. But He's given me plenty of second chances since.

Every day, as I go to bed, I reminisce about how the day began, progressed and ended. Of course, with the kind of work schedules I have, my day starts at 12 noon and does not end until four the next morning. So, I am not sure of what the next day will bring. I am not sure if I'll never wake up healthy or wake up at all. I am not sure if I will have as productive a day as I had, but again, like much else in our lives, we take our mornings for granted. While we make plans for an entire year ahead, we forget that our lives can change in just a heart-beat and quite literally too.

We all get our second chances and while God is doling out billions of second chances out every single moment of the day and night, we cant spare a moment to thank Him. There are so many instances in our daily lives where we get away with too many things, sometimes, barely by the skin of our teeth. He does not expect much, because being the gracious, ever loving God that He is, He won't insist that you sacrifice the fattened calf or donate a diamond. He expects us to love Him back. I think we can afford that.

Now, in the time that it took you to read this, you could've have died of a dozen diseases. Or worse yet, would have never made it to this post. But you've already got that second chance.

Your body is a Wonderland... [12/365]

One of my ex-girlfriend was a closet lesbian. When serenading her girlfriends, she would dedicate the John Mayer hit 'Your body is a Wonderland...' Ofcourse, being that lesbianism is still a taboo in India, she continues to keep her preferences closeted.

While the song itself is lurid attempt at lewdness, I can both argue and agree with the lyrics within. 

I am guilty, like many of us, of judging a person by the way he/she appears. We are very prejudiced and conceited when it comes to people of certain ethnicity, color, region or language. We write them off without even giving them the slightest chance to prove/define themselves.
When a friend's nine year old son joined a new school, he was bullied by an older kid who teased his appearance. Undaunted, my friend's son never yielded in to the torture and never replied a mean word back. When his dad asked him why he didn't just report the matter to his teachers, he replied 'My God made me wonderfully and beautifully'. Kids do say the darn'dest things, don't they?

As adults, we are way too corrupt to alter our prejudices.
We feel disgusted when our partners and family members are different from our perfect selves.
We judge a person too much on how much he/she weighs and looks rather than understand how beautiful his/her soul is.
When the bible (and nearly every religious books) tell us that God made us in His image, we do we hanker after that guy with the rippling muscles and chiseled bode or that girl with the hour glass body, fair skin and luscious hair?

The almost poetic verses of scripture at Psalm 139:13-16 brings a wonderful picture of how God skillfully creates every single molecule within us. An anthem for people who are uncomfortable within their skin, this passage comforts people who treat themselves and their bodies with disregard.

Made in secret, revealed in Heaven.
Isn't that something to be incredibly proud of?

Forever and ever... [7/365]

A term that we throw about, 'forever'ness is such a wonderful thing.

I've often wondered whether we even understand the meaning of the word.

Marriages are a favorite event when couples promise to love and cherish each other forever and ever.
But have they even fanthomed how long 'that' could be?

But that really does not matter to anyone at that moment. The parents of the couple just want to get this over with. The friends and relatives too, so that they can continue with the festivities. And the couple, well they are too emotionally blinded to even venture a guess.

Now, I am sure there are plenty of marriages that have lasted a proper lifetime. But there are a growing number of marriages that have lasted a lot lesser than 'forever'.

And when I do hear about the quickie marriages and quicker divorces, I'm reminded of how king David tells us how God is the only 'forever and ever' that you can count on. (Read Psalms 19:1-7)

For real.

Ship well built [6/365]

No
The one word that most people hate.
The one word that can mean refusal, denial and nonacceptance. 

While being denied or refused something that you really want or cherish by someone you love is tough, there will have been plenty of times when God says 'No' to something you ask for.

What is the first thought that goes through your mind when you are pushed into the unknown?
What if God asked you to let go of your family, your parents, your career, everything for that one thing you have been asking for.

The 'What if's of this life haunts us. So does the 'dark unknown'.
Yet as if on cue, God gives us the tools and the knowledge that we need to be able to come out brighter and stronger than we were going in.  
A ship in a harbor is safe, but this is not what a ship is built for.

In the plenty of times when prayers have gone unanswered, I've recalled the story of how Abraham was asked to sacrifice his only begotten son. Try to imagine the grief he would have gone through. Ofcourse, he could've questioned God's request and logic but as a man of faith, he never gave this another thought. While we all know how this ended, we do see how he exhibits emotions that we can identify with.

Peppered throughout the Bible, we see instances of how people are pushed into the unknown.
10 days into the new year, I've heard friends complain how things have not gone their way and then a few others who celebrate the small victories in their every day lives.
But regardless of how anything will happen, we are in His safe arms. 
That is when we surrender ourselves to Him.

United shouts of joy!

Neetha had never witnessed the usual new year celebrations, so when she asked if I could show her around, I obliged.

So as soon as we finished the late night 'watch night' service at church, we headed towards Central Bangalore; which is normally deserted at 1 am. What met us instead was total chaos and anarchy. thousands of people- on foot, 3 in a bike, on top of cars, sun-roofs, on bonnets, and hanging out of open windows - cheering, howling, dancing.  Half naked.

The sheer volume of humanity cheering at about the same time, most of who are almost half drunk on cheap beer and inexpensive vodka, at complete strangers is so hearty and annoying at the same time.

Seeing as I have a phobia towards shaking hands with strangers, I either nod my head in approval or simply smile.  And these are the same people who you'd be utterly rude to or suspicious about if you met them when they are sober.


The camaraderie that people display towards each other is infectious. You'd see half drunk men, standing at the middle of the road hi-fying anyone who cares to return the love. Love is truly in the air.
Single women or women who appear vulnerable can feel overwhelmed though. But the cops did a mighty good job making sure the women were escorted and got a cab.


Overall, an experience that you must witness and perhaps participate in. Neetha for one, has checked this off her bucket list. 


My prayer, however would be that 'God's will prevail in everything that happens in my life' I wouldn't want it any other way.
My Resolutions? Well, that is still a work in progress but I'll have something in a day.


But here's wishing all my readers, friends and colleagues the best that life has to offer you this year. 


 

What if

Have you ever pondered on how your life would have changed if something in your past didn't or did happen?

I have. I've wondered how my life would've changed if..
... I'd studied Architecture like I wanted to.
.. if I hadn't rebelled and started to live on my own.
.. if I hadn't dated all the wrong women.
.. if I hadn't lost my dad to Cancer.
.. if I was still with my ex.

While I still don't have all the answers, I do know that I wouldn't have been half as joyful as I am today if all that happened to me didn't happen.

Of course, in a fictitious parallel universe, I would have been happy but we live in a very real world.
A world where good and evil is as real as God and Satan, where we need to pay for our mistakes, our errs of judgement and moments of folly.
If I had a chance to change all the unpleasant things in my life, would I? No.

Thank God, I didn't study Architecture, because I would've never realized how much I loved writing.
Thank God I rebelled and decided to live on my own, because I now know that I can survive if I were to do this all over again.
Thank God I dated the wrong women, because I now know that beauty is the most deceptive measure to base a relationship on.
Thank God, my Dad passed away with a disease that he researched all his career because I now have a renewed appreciation for all the agony and trauma that both the sufferer and their loved ones go through.
And thank God, I am not with my ex, because I know that she could've never been the wife, the daughter-in-law and person that my parents will need.

For all the things that could've been but didn't, I thank God for all that happened. Cliched as it would sound, everything took it's time but eventually worked out in the most marvelous way.