O My Jejus [317/365]

Okay, so the other day, while I was discussing current affairs, a colleague of mine lamented how Ms Chopra Playboy edition didn't really work its magic (with her legion of fans and porn addicts) and Poonam has been out of work (!) and kept herself out of the headlines for a while. None of this really made any sense. It didn't look right. How could India survive without the drama?

As if answering our faint requests for drama, our original 'plastic-surgery-gone-bad' actress Ms Rakhi Sawant dashed off a letter to the Commissioner of Police against Mr Digvijaya Singh for certain remarks he made associating her with Arvind Kejriwal.

For your Eyes Only:

Here's the full text of the letter written by Rakhi Sawant, which has been reproduced in its entirety with spelling mistakes and grammatical errors:

Mrs. Rakhi Anant Sawant,
4001, Imperial Height, B Tower, Best Colony, behind Oshiwara Depot, Goregaon, west, Mumbai-104, Dated -12/11/12 To, 1). Commissioner of Police, 2). Home Secretary, State of Maharashtra, 3). Sr. P.I., Goregaon Police Station,

Subject;- Complaint for taking cognizance on the lewd and indecent remark on me by One Digvijay Singh General Secretary of Congress Party.

Dear Sir,
I, the undersigned and as mentioned above, respectfully bring to your information my grievances with a hope to get justice, as under :-

1) I am a professional and artist and world known stage performer, famine activist, social worker and cultural Maharashtrian Maratha girl.

2) I have been hearing many news channels playing news on me and calling on and reporting about lewd indecent, outrageous remark on me by the said accused Digvijay Singh of congress Party. Whatever I heard about my self and my person, which is said by the said digvijay singh a as... arvind kejarival and rakhi sawant are quit similar...they tried to expose but no substance..."

3) He said that I am a female and cultural activist. I say that said accused has lowered my image and reputation by comparing with masculine gender Kejarival and thus raised question mark on my feminist. I say that accused Digvijay has compared me with political activistwho has no specific base and character.

4) I say that who told Digvijay singh that I have no substabce. I say that I do not know Digavijay singh personally and neither I have entered into any contractual obligation to claim expose to show. Neither I feel that any such elderly person of such old age shall inter into private life and profession in any manner. For the same I have already issued instruction to my lawyer Ejaz Naqvi to issue notice for claim against defamation for damage of Rs. 50 Crore to said accused Digavijay Singh at his address for loss etc. and further calling on him to stop such comment in further future.

5) Prima facie it looks that Your officer and the concerned state congress machinery is inclined to presume and spread the false contention about my person that I am outrageous. Which is too attracting jurisdiction of state/national Human Right Commission I say that the same contention/presumption of Congress Party and is general Secretary Digvijay Singh is baseless and false and I wanted to prove it by enacting Police investigations. Fore the sake of justice and my right to dignified life under the constitution of India.

In the circumstances and gruesome attack on my noble character and log history of disregarding to lodge proper cognizance despite being informed about such remarks on my person, I finally request you to direct to you subordinate to register an appropriate complaint and F.I.R. of outraging modesty of a woman/female, charges of passing lewd remarks and eve teasing, abusing, mischief, passing defamatory remake and false statement and rumour etc against me and Criminal Conspiracy etc. and further transfer it to C.B.I. against the above mentioned accused under the Relevant provisions of I.P.C. u/s. 354, 427, 500, 511 and also section 67/A and 69 of Information Technology Act 2000 etc. and investigate the matter as disclosed in the Complaint and find out the accused etc. and secure the dignified life & legal interest of the Complainant & in the interest of justice and Right to dignified life as guaranteed of the constitution for all the citizens to get justice.

Yours truly,

Rakhi Arun SawantAdv. S. Ejaz A. Naqvi
(I have been told all the facts in Marathi before signature),
C.C.-1) DG.P.-Maharashtra 2) Chairman, State Woman Commission, Mumbai/bandra for calling the accused Digvijay Singh for his lewd and anti woman remark and proper action. 3). Sonia Gandhi , President of Congress party, 10 Jan pat for taking appropriate action on the said accused Digvijat Singh for lovering image of a hindu Woman.

Now, having read this letter, me thinks Arvind deserves to feel more scandalized than Ms Sawant. But knowing him, I think he'll come public with clinging details of how bimbos like Rakhi Sawant and PP have ruined Indian society.

We await.

Happy Endings! [314/365]

And what he got.

For those who know the Lord's Prayer by rote, there is one line in it - 'Bring us not into temptation but deliver us from evil...', today's news was a reminder of how the strongest among us can crumble to temptation.

David Petraeus, CIA Director and four-starred general who oversaw operations at Afghanistan, tendered his resignation citing 'poor judgement in having an extramarital affair' with his biographer. The buxom lady in question, Paula Broadwell, has herself been under FBI investigation for sending anonymous threats via emails and accessing top-secret and confidential files belonging to Petraeus.

Incidentally, this was not even the intended result of the investigation, but seeing the turn of events I am thinking if the director of the best spook organizations failed to keep his fling secret, then that only proves that it simply can't be done.
Many might argue that he took the high road by owning up to the 'mistake' but I wonder if he would have thought this when he was having the romp.
I was fascinated by the title of the biography, 'All In: The Education of General David Petraeus' sounds like a intimate detail of the couple's bedroom education than anything else. But then again, I wouldn't blame Petraeus for the momentary lapse of good judgement because beneath all those medals and stars he is just a man with an aging wife who looked more like his grandmother, and got lucky with a lady who looked like one of those Bond babes. Shaken not stirred. 

What he was stuck with...

 Professionally, I'd question the authority of an organization that kills, maims and assassinates citizens of other countries, when it's own chief has little morality.

Looking into the future, we will all forget about this. Both the families will survive this very public fiasco, their spouses and children will stand by them unlike former Ms Woods. They will express their deepest regret publicly. One of them will probably land a fat book deal to spill all the salacious bits (and no prizes for guessing who that will be) and there will also be a Hollywood movie (and even a porno) that will be based on this.

So, you see, all in all it's a win-win situation.